Diary of a Cannibal

Oh Ulli, why do I still act like a cinematic masochist by continuing to watch your unwatchable 'based on a true story' (albiet EXTREMELY loosely) waste of celluloid. Perhaps I've answered my own question. I AM a masochist, either that or the last true blooded optimist. Perhaps this one will be better. Maybe i won't long for the sweet embrace of death to keep me from viewing until the movie's end. Alas no. No such luck. i had to suffer through this spectacularly awful movie. Atrociously acted, shot worse than a student film. Unentertaining even in it's insipidness. DO NOT watch. DO NOT even let the idea enter your head.

I just HAVE to write a comment of what I'm experiencing right now. I am shocked by what I just saw, and not because of the contents, but by the way they were brought to the screen.

I remember the movie's story being on the news, as it is based on actual events. Unfortunately, there is hardly anything left of the true story, and it is turned into a vague 'romance' story.

The filming, editing, acting and effects in this movie are so terrible, that it is a horror movie in the fact that it is simply horrific. Don't let anybody tell you this movie is good, they are lying. It looks like a project of a starting film student, who is about to be kicked out for lack of talent.

The best example to the sadness of this attempt at film, is when the headless body is shown. In the place where the head would be is a black block that seems to be drawn on the image in Microsoft Paint! I'm going to go back to the video store tomorrow and not ask for my money back. I'm going to ask them to remove this DVD from their assortment. My 3 euro probably doubled the amount of money they paid for it to begin with.

(2006) Diary Of A Cannibal HORROR

Art direction, cinematography, produced, and directed by Ulli Lommel directing a straight to rental, shown on via cam-corder style showcasing events about how a normal teenage girl end up eating her boyfriend, full of pointless passages from the Bible etc... linking to cannibalism. Supposed to be based on an actual incident somewhere in Virginia, Tennessee similar to "The Brown Bunny" which consist of pointless scenes of affection with one another and it wasn't until more than an hour later that viewers finally realize that it was the boyfriends request for her to do this. What do we know from this understandably is absolutely nothing.

I got this movie from the $1 section at my local video rental store. I'm sorry that I even spent that much on this movie. I actually turned the movie right off after about 20 minutes...and I've never done that with ANY other movie. It seriously looks like some man just took his home video camera and filmed two kids staring at each other in a van and then every once in a while threw in a clip of a shiny knife with blood. Oh my! I almost WANT people to watch this movie...just to seriously see how horrible it is. It's almost comical. But I wouldn't do it, that's about an hour and a half of your life you'll never get back.

As no one has yet commented on this piece of trash I think it is my civic duty to warn people not to be tempted by the title into watching this. It is not a horror movie. There is no tension, no frights and very little gore, and that is badly done. I know Ulli Lommel has produced some of worst movies in history but this surpasses even those god awful efforts. Maybe Lommel's parents are to blame for encouraging him or maybe he's just some spoilt rich kid with more money than sense but either way, he should stop making films immediately. I believe the movie is taken from a book called "Diary of a Cannibal". I'm intrigued enough by the awfulness of the film to seek out this book and see if it is better. It must be.The entire movie is made up of flashbacks that are, more often than not, repeated over and over. The whole thing looks like it was shot through the bottom of a jam jar and the main actors do nothing of consequence throughout the whole turgid 80 minutes or so. If somebody offers "Cannibal" to you for free, don't take it. Just walk away because you will, most surely, regret the experience for the rest of your life.