Prehistoric Terror

Watched this tonight...it was a forced endeavor after the first few minutes. The Sci Fi Network has some real need of new creative staff, writers and directors. This was a poorly done venture of a pitiful film. While I enjoyed seeing Colm Meaney (Vincent) and Christopher Atkins (John Palmer) again, even their acting was rather bleak. The plot was interesting, but overdone - huge mutant beetles living underground for who knows how long. While the bugs themselves looked 'real', the editing was painful! There were really bad clips during the entire movie. Pay attention to a scene early in the movie when the group is going down the mine shaft – one guy nearly falls out – watch the 'skillful' editing when they get him back on the lift! Amateur film makers with Hi-8 Video Cameras could have probably done a better job. What was up with the actors who played the kids? Chelan Simmons (Emily Palmer) and Stevie Mitchell (Miles Palmer) were real screamers! I had to check the cast list to make sure that the actress who played Emily wasn't the daughter of Kate Capshaw! (Remember all the shrill, needless screaming she did in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom). All Chelan/Emily did was scream nearly the entire movie. If the writers were more realistic, the character of Emily would have been more of a fighter and helped her mother, Samantha (played by Angela Featherstone). At one point, I hoped Samantha would just shoot Emily to shut her up. I love the Sci Fi Channel because I really love Science Fiction and Adventure films, but the bigwigs in that network need a reality check and clean house of those who are producing their network movies. Most Sci Fi Channel/Network 'Original' movies have been absolutely horrible. Why do I even try to watch their 'Original' movies? Because I do live this type of movie and want to give them a chance and...I must also be a glutton for punishment...I keep expecting that they will finally get with the right picture.

Sci Fi DOES have some great and very creative commercials - maybe they need to have the people making those promotional spots produce their network movies.

Plenty of action for fans of these big mutated bug creature movies. Since the focus is just to showcase the inflated insects chasing and feeding on screaming extras, the feeble plot full of familiar devices really doesn't hurt. It's low budget stuff all the way, but fun.

Many Sci-Fi channel flicks like to mix some "bad victims who deserve to die in a poetic justice way and you can't wait until they get it" with some "good innocent victims in the wrong place at the wrong time who ought to live but some of them don't" types. This routine of course insures plenty of blood, and so it is this time: crooks want to get at some valuable jewels or something underground in a mine somewhere, and trick a guy into leading them to it. Said guy has teen daughters, etc. Guess what? You'll never guess! Giant bugs are there, too! The bugs are cheaply rendered, the CGI animation look like somebody glued a magazine photo of a bug on your TV screen, and slid it around with a pencil.

Familiar territory, and most of the actors failed Drama 1A. But it still can entertain if you take it for what it is, campy fast food b-budget sci-fi/horror.

I saw this movie and while it wasn't really too bad for this genre, I had problems believing a few things:

1: The main character is a very good caving expert but they go into this very "perilous" caved in mine with out basic safety gear like helmets.

2: After 58 years, the power is still on in the mine and the lights still work. This was lucky because nobody seemed to be carrying any torches or lights.

3: After 58 years, this mine, beside a lake, has no water in it.

4: The second thing that they all do, after turning on the lights, is to jump on this rickety old wooden elevator to descend 2000 feet. This seems foolish to me especially for some caving "expert".

5: The two-way radios do not look like low frequency cave radios and their reception seems really really good after going through 2000 feet of rock?

6: Can you really get these rocket-propelled anchors that you can shoot into rock that will then hold firm enough to swing from? If so, shouldn't you test them before using them to swing across an abyss?

7: Why does a "caver" need a rocket-propelled emergency beacon?

8: The main character carried a very small back-pack. It seemed barely big enough for the rocket-propelled anchor with about 15 feet of rope, rocket-propelled emergency beacon and explosives that he took. I am not an expert but I would have taken more caving equipment like torches, ropes, helmets, slings, harness.

9: Why do the "laser rifles" need to be cocked (but not reloaded) every now and then? Where does the rock go when it is disintegrated?

10: I didn't know that emeralds actually generated their own light. But they looked pretty.

11: I saw baby monster beetles coming out of a dead mans mouth. If the young are only 2 inches long, then why are the eggs nearly a foot long?

12: Why kill the old man if that meant that they would only be able to make one trip down the mine to get emeralds? Why not leave him alive and sneak down as many times as they wanted and get as many emeralds as they wanted? Why are the bad guys so dumb?

13: Why kill Colm Meanie before he has helped carry emeralds to the surface?

14: Who keeps a loaded shotgun hanging on their living room wall?

In all sincerity, I really like finding a movie with this many gaffs.

Plot

Disguised as extreme adventurers, a group of high profile thieves unknowingly lead a group of wealthy tourists on an expedition through an abandoned salt mine that is guarded by ancient creatures.

Cast

Christopher Atkins stinks up every scene he's in, which is sadly most of them. Veteran Colm Meaney looks very out of place and Angela Featherstone and Chelan Simmons both deserve better.

Verdict

When you go in to a Scyfy Original you need to know something, you're likely in for a 90 minute migraine caused by bad writing, awful cgi and more goofs and inconsistencies than you could possibly imagine. Why do we put ourselves through them? I'll let you know when I've figured it out myself!

Caved In is one of the worst I believe I've seen, it doesn't even have the novelty factor of those of the past decade or so and their insistence on combining things to make a premise such as Piranhaconda, Arachnoquake, Ghost Shark, Dragon Wasps etc. A group of people go into a long since boarded up mine which is mysteriously illuminated and face off with giant awfully animated bugs, throw in a sideplot about criminal element and the obligatory goofy kids and you have Caved In.

Awful head scratching stupidity.

Rants

I must applaud user cbrow on his review and list of goofs, there's stuff in there I hadn't even picked up on and demonstrates further that Scyfy can't think much of their audience, either that or they are just dumber than a pierced bag of farts.

The Good

Meaney and Featherstone are always appreciated

The Bad

Goof after goof Dreadful cgi Lead has no place in the industry, he's that bad.

Reptilicus said just about everything. I would like to know 2 things however. First - why do all animate creatures in movies have to roar? I thought that the best beetles could do is click. Second - Where can I get one of those shotguns that never has to be re-loaded? This film could have been made in the 1950's.

The plot really was a fill in the blank effort. The big problem is that they only filled in 3 blanks - character names, location, and type of ridiculous "monster".

The least the Sci-Fi channel is do, is to hire Charles Band to produce and direct these movies. At least he knows how to do it properly.

Just another of the Sci-Fi channel's dismal and disappointing offerings.