Snake Head Terror

This movie is a throwback film of the old science fiction / horror movies of the 1950's. The movie itself was decent, if you can suspend your disbelief that a pristine lake surrounded by snowcapped mountains in Canada is in the state of Maryland. The hero of this film is the sheriff played by Bruce Boxleitner of Babylon 5 fame who is battling a lake full of mutant asian humen eating snakehead fish during a fishing tournament (shades of Jaws here). He is helped by his daughter and her friends and a agent of the Fish and Wild Life Service. The film itself was well done for a low budget production make in Canada. A type of television movies thats good be watched and forgotten.

I watched Snakehead Terror mostly because I'm a big fan of Bruce Boxleitner.

Wow. Does he need money this badly? The premise wasn't bad. A small town's economy is ruined by nasty snakehead fish, their lake is poisoned to kill the nasty vermin, and the town is slow to recover. The film opens with a man and his dog finding a somewhat chewed up bear on the shores of the lake, the dog running into the lake to bark at snakehead fish and the guy going into the water to save his dog. Naturally both man and dog are eaten.

If I had found the dead bear, I would have run away.

Anyway, once you actually SEE the things and notice that the fish only crawl about 0.0005 miles per hour you wonder how come no one runs away, screaming into the night or even day? I mean I can understand the fish swimming quickly in the water, but on land? I could still outrun those things even if both my legs were missing and I had only the use of my left hand.

Bruce plays the sheriff of this under-economized town and his teenaged daughter's boyfriend is killed when he is eaten by the nasty fish and Bruce wants to immediately close the lake. Of course, no one listens and the lake remains open. Then he contacts the wildlife division and they send out Carol Alt who then determines the cause of the boy's death are snakeheads. Still, no one listens. Of course, what happens next is predictable, the news leaks out, and suddenly there are bounty hunters searching for the deadly snakeheads. And of course, teenagers who never listen, go on the lake seeking revenge for the death of their friend. Like a snakehead cares.

It turns out that the town's coroner has been giving his brother large quantities of growth hormone to help encourage the growth of the lake's natural fish but unfortunately all it did was make the snakeheads grow to enormous size and they HISS, SNARL, GROWL and I swear, they bark at you too.

These things are huge with appetites to match. The CGI was not very good but the gore was incredibly....well...gory. Bits and pieces of flesh flying about, blood spurting, limbs being ripped off, it was like watching me in the kitchen vainly trying to cut up a piece of meat for dinner.

Watching this movie made me decide on a couple of things (a) not to live on a lake (b) not to have teenagers, and (c) maybe give up sushi. It's an entertaining movie, better than most I've seen on the sci fi channel and believe it or not, more than 2 people actually survive. That was a relief. In a way.

By the end of the movie I felt like such a huge waste of time watching this movie. It is so pointless and absolutely absurd. A story of a small town sheriff tried to solve the mystery of how the Snakehead fish grew so big that they start attacking human.

Everything about this movie is dreadful, from the cast that is typical B grade animal attack movie, to the cheap shot directing, to the weird music, to the acting, bad CGI and to the script that absolutely contain nothing but fish that walk on land and outwit human before attacking them.

Though I must admit this is not the worst movie of its kind, the movie still does consist little excitement though like I said before very absurd but that one must really expect when they are trying to watch B Grade action movie.

My verdict: I'll never watch this movie again. Not worth your time.

Reason To Watch: Chelan Simmons and When You Have Absolutely Nothing To Do.

Reason Not To: There Are Loads Of Better Movie Out There.

Rating: 3/10 (Grade: F).

Yet another mutant killer fish movie. The twist this time is that they can walk on land. Gasp! What could be scarier than an overgrown, flesh eating carp dragging itself through the mud after its intended victim? Just about anything else actually.

Tired format of decent sheriff (conveniently single) teaming with smart (and sexy of course) biologist to defeat the threat, while trying to convince the hard headed mayor to close the lake etc. etc. You've seen it all before, and way better in Jaws, Piranha and so forth.

Lame special effects, poor lighting, bad acting, annoying teens...need I go on? Not an original, frightening or worthwhile moment in the whole mess.

The gang at MST3K would have had a field day with this movie. It has it all: bad plot, bad directing, bad effects, bad acting, and famous faces. With Bruce Boxleitner, William B. Davis and Carol Alt, the number of Scarecrow and Mrs. King, X-Files and supermodel jokes are endless (not to mention Babylon 5 and Tron). To be fair to Boxleitner, his acting was fine, but the number of long, drawn out scenes of him driving up and parking his car are worthy of ridicule, MST-style.

As has been noted, this movie rips off every other "animal attacks" movie ever made. Every cliché is here:

• Mutant "man made" monster: check

• Local sheriff: check

• Sheriff's child in peril: check

• Unconcerned politician: check

• New love interest partner: check

• Goofy teenagers: check

• Slow attacks that escalate without reason: check

• Illogical and downright stupid behavior of every human: check

• Dumb monsters that show intelligence for plot reasons: check

• Improbably, yet highly effective single solution: check

Actually there was one cliché that I either missed, or they just didn't do, but that's the "the end?" ending where something survived. Maybe I just stopped watching too soon.