Tirante el Blanco

This film is unwatchable. I tried twice. I love stories like this, so was willing to give it a look. The costumes are spectacular. The acting is truly horrible across the board. It begins with the hero we see, who when he finally speaks has the squeaky high pitched voice of an obnoxious child. This is followed by a meeting with the king, and he is dressed to the nines. Immaculate and awesome king clothes. The actor stuffed inside of them must have been a relative of the director or an investor. His acting is that of one who has no idea, no idea at all. Given the spectacular sets and costumes, somebody had some money. Sometimes a film is just to bad to coherently review. The work that went into the sets and costumes makes the poor direction and acting confusing. You keep wanting to give it a chance because it looks delicious. I couldn't.

I hadn't read the book prior to seeing the movie, so I can't compare them. Honestly, I expected it to be deadly bad. And I was really surprised. The story is beautiful, filled with both humor and drama. It's not the "Troya" kind of film, the battle scenes are somehow poor (maybe due to a bad production?) yet Aranda gives them a personal touch. Aranda surprises again with his ability to investigate love, passion and human feelings. I loved the fact that Tirant is not the typical hero. Shame that the actor is sometimes empty...specially in comparison to the women of the film. Sure that Esther Nubiola is a discovery, we can read everything from her eyes and she's the perfect image for sensuality. Leonor Watling and Ingrid Rubio bring brightness to the movie, as well as Victoria Abril,able to catch the eye of the camera even from the back. A special congratulations to Giancarlo Gianini, this guy is always perfect whatever he does. Amazing dresses,by Ivonne Blake and beautiful music, with those breathtaking child chorus. The only shame, that Vicente Aranda didn't have the right producers and sometimes you can feel it through the movie.

Well, the story is based on the book "Tirant lo Blanc", written by Joanot Martorell in XIV century. Tirant is the best knight of Aragon Kingdom and must go to Constantinople to help the Emperor to fight against the Turkeys. There, he will fall in love with little princess Carmesina and will fight in the war. Unfortunately, things will not happen as our lovers like, as politics are between them. The movie is well done, the task of clothes and photography is very good, as the choice of actors and their acting. Unfortunately, as the movie focuses only in the bed aspects of court's live, the vision of the story is very partial (the story is not bad, but I think the director could have taken more profit of it), and, in addition, the war scenes are horrible. This is possibly due to lack of money, but, used to see Hollywood wars, the effect is terrible and disgusting. The material (the main book) is good, as the director, but the result could have been much better. I expected more of the director Vicente Aranda.

Oh boy! What a shameful experience. Stakes were high with this one. Four fine actresses on a 'Dangerous liaisons' type of film but somehow in the process everything witty and entertaining contained in this great novel of the 15h century was lost in translation.

The film gives no clue whatsoever if the tales being told have anything to do with some army in particular in some period of history or with the lord of the rings saga..

(Hint: the turks are the orks, and Tirant resembles Aragorn, though no Virgo Mortensen in sight just a lookalike). (Another hint: the standard flag of Tirant's side in battle scenes)

The film carries a solemnity that echoes through the halls and chambers of every step of flight of stairs of the palace in which the static action takes place. Can you hear my yawn from the aisles of the castle?

Esther Nubiola as Carmesina -the princess-, Ingrid Rubio as Estephania, Leonor Watling as Pleasureofmylife, Victoria Abril as the Peacefulwidow and Jane Asher as the queen do their best in trying to liven things up.

But the dead funeral air of Vicente Aranda's take at sex scenes won't make you have a hard on if it's not in the way of rigor mortis.

Magnificent costumes, dramatic locations, stirring music and elaborate sets for a tale of bravery and treachery, sex romps and romance among the lost splendours of Byzantium, under attack from the Turks in the 1400s.

The handsome and gallant knight Tirant (Casper Zafer), placed in charge of the armies of the Emperor (Giancarlo Giannini), hopes also to win his lovely daughter Carmesina (Esther Nubiola), who is willing in theory but hesitant in practice. The ladies of the court are full of wiles, both political and sexual, and a faction want to give her to the Turkish sultan (Rafael Amargo).

So the scene is set for battles under arms, battles of plot and counter-plot and many amorous battles around and in beds, involving lots of nudity and lively sex. Even the sardonic Empress (Jane Asher, who must have been pushing pension age but still looks lovely) strips off and seduces a handsome young squire (Sid Mitchell), muttering to her mirror that he could be her grandson.

Why isn't everybody entranced by the lush spectacle and adventurous story? I think the main reason is that to the ears of English speakers both the actual dialogue and the delivery of the dubbed speech often does not convince. Sometimes it is mock-medieval, which is very dangerous to write unless one's touch is perfect, and sometimes just uninspired. Ironically, it might work better in Spanish with subtitles.