Mortuary

Not that bad like the rating indicates - of course, Tobe Hooper's classics The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist and Lifeforce are miles ahead regarding story and production, but anyway, Mortuary is a nice little flick with some similiarities to some horror classics - e.g. Return of the Living Dead comes to mind (without most of the comedy elements). Mortuary is for sure no new milestone in the eternal crypt of the neverending horrors but spicy enuff and the actors are giving a solid performance. On top we get a a nice nostalgic shot of the 80s and 90s and some good visual designs.

You may give Mortuary a chance, if you got a good appetite for movies like Return of the Living Dead, The Haunting in Conneticut, The Hallow, The Ruins, Splinter etc.

This movie seemed to have a lot going for it in the beginning. An interesting story, a great location (who doesn't love old, decrepit houses with a cemetery in the front yard), and good performances (this is the third decent performance out of Dan Byrd that I've seen...he's got potential)...and for the first portion of the film, and had a great deal of atmosphere as well. Then something went horribly wrong; I'm not sure what, but as the movie began it's last half, it began to remind me of a spoof film I saw once called "Night of the Living Bread" (which is genius, by the way)...and I'm pretty sure, despite what some have said, that the movie was NOT meant to be a spoof. The lighting crew must've gone home, because you can't see a damn thing for the last 20 minutes except various facial features. The story became very confusing, as it couldn't focus on one of two villains...a deformed crazy-man living in a tomb, or an evil black fungus...hmmm. There was absolutely no climax to the film, and the end was so unbelievably predictable, that as it played out, I began to narrate it just a step ahead...and was spot on. *sigh*

Most avid horror fans no longer consider Tobe Hooper to be a prominent director of the genre whereas I, naive dork that I am, continue to look forward to every new project that has his name attached to it. After all, he'll always remain the creator of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and, more recently, "The Toolbox Murders" turned out to be an engaging and scary little flick. Few positive things can be said about "Mortuary", however, as it certainly doesn't look like a movie made by someone with over 30 years of experience in the field of horror cinema. The plot is stupid and drowning in clichés, the dialogs are awful, the acting performances disastrous and the gory moments (not even that many, mind you) look even cheesier than those in zero-budget 80's slashers. And then still the old school embalming sequences look brilliant compared to the downright horrible CGI effect that are used near the end of the film. Add to all this a total lack of tension, humor or distracting nudity and we've got ourselves one of the worst horror movies of the year 2005. "Mortuary" makes no sense from the first second already and it gradually gets worse with every plot twist or new character that is introduced. A young widow drags her two children to a godforsaken village where she hopes to take a fresh start as … the local mortician! Okay, here we have a woman who clearly never worked with dead bodies before in her life and living in a slum surrounded by eerie gravestones is supposed to help her kids get over the trauma of losing their father? The mortuary has a dubious history, naturally, and bizarre fungus grows from every hole in the walls, turning a bunch of insufferable teenagers into slavering zombies. We never get a proper explanation about the fungus' origin or its exact connection with the deformed ghoul living in the Fowler family tomb. Maybe it's better like this, as I'm sure any form of explanation only would have made the movie even more stupid. This is just an irredeemably bad film, insulting the intellect of even the most undemanding horror audiences. Avoid at all costs!

Once again we have a horror movie that has an interesting premise, a somewhat good story and what happens? It just does not live up to its potential as it makes mistakes that turn it from a really good horror movie to a watered down horror movie that has you thinking what might have been. The story, mother moves herself and two children to a little town to start a new career as a mortician. Granted this in itself is a bit hard to believe a father may have been a more realistic choice to lead the film, but whatever I can role with it. The older teenage son is against this move and is the typical teen in that he voices his opinion against the house and everything about what his mom is doing...I usually don't care for that type, but here I have to agree with him. Why she bought the place is beyond me, as I do believe the house was made a bit to rundown to be realistic. I doubt anyone with any lick of sense would want to move in having seen that house beforehand. Well there are mysterious things going on and there is talk of a person who lives in the cemetery in the front lawn and all that and it could have been really good, however, it is so far fetched in some areas, it moves so slowly at first, and then it doesn't want to end. The deaths are not all that gory, a bit of gore here and there, but not all that much. At times the movie seems to be trying to be a horror comedy and this hurts the movie as well. I like horror comedies a bit (I really enjoyed the flick "Slither"), but don't half-heartedly go about it. Either be a horror comedy or go straight horror. Some scenes are a bit out of place thanks to this bizarre shift at times. The actors are the typical b-movie types and so they are okay. Then there is the use of cgi...I am against it in areas in this movie, why they felt they needed it for the last thing is beyond me. You could have made a realistic whatever it was with minimal effort and money and it would have looked a lot more real. And the ending had me going "Huh"? Don't show what you showed in the previous scene and then hit me with that typical 80's horror ending...by the way if you have seen two horror movies with this type of ending you will know what is going to happen. Still though if they had developed the story better, stayed away from the comedy bits, and explained the thing and Bobby better this movie could have been a pretty decent horror flick as it is it has good and bad and is really just a mediocre flick.

The widow Leslie Doyle (Denise Crosby) has just lost her husband and moves with her teenage son Jonathan (Dan Byrd) and her young daughter Jamie (Stephani Patton) to a mortuary in a small town in California that she has bought with the intention of starting a new business, practicing her knowledge as mortician. When they arrive, Leslie realizes that she was lured by the former owner, Elliot, and that the decrepit Fowler Brothers Funeral Home was completely abandoned and with problem with the septic sewer. While Leslie tries to improve and clean the place and start embalming corpses, Jonathan is informed about the legend of Bobby Fowler, the deformed son of the Fowlers. Meanwhile a weird substance attacks people, transforming them in zombies.

Mortuary has a very scary atmosphere, with an old cemetery and a nasty and creepy house. The make-up, special effects and soundtrack are also very good. Unfortunately, the flawed screenplay spoils a promising horror movie. There are lack of explanations about Bobby Fowler and the creature that transforms the locals in zombies, and lots of mistakes. For example, in addition to the goofs listed in IMDb, the sheriff's car parked in front of the funeral house simply vanishes when he is attacked. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Mortuária" ("Mortuary")