USA Ninja

If it is, it's a really, really bad one. I just can't understand why a movie like this was made. Where did the funding (or more accurate: lack of funding) come from? Didn't the people behind this movie realise they had made the worst thing ever when this was finished? It's an even bigger surprise knowing that some smart people out there released it on DVD as well. But I guess I'm the biggest fool of all myself, since I in fact used money (biggest mistake ever) on this total, terrible disaster of a movie. "USA Ninja" has the worst dubbing of all time. Pretty strange actually, because it looks like most of the actors spoke English anyway. The movie takes place in the States, but it just seems a little weird with jungle and Asian architecture everywhere. The fight scenes are just plain comical, and I had no problem in seeing that many of them were fast-forwarded and even rewinded!!!

Just forget about all other things I have said about the worst movie ever. This IS IT. Things just can't get any worse.

This is really brilliant stuff, Alexander Lou (from previous Ninja-hits like "The Super Ninja" and "Mafia vs. Ninja" amongst others) is starring as a good guy, whose girlfriend gets kidnapped by a bunch of criminals, led by George Nicholas and his trusty henchman Eugene Thomas (I can't remember any of the character's names, so I'll just use the actors real names, we all know who they are anyway...or at least I do) - Lou must fight a hard-trained kamikaze ninja-army before he can free his girlfriend, but in the end, we don't even see him freeing her! The movie ends very abruptly, and is really the only downside to it. All the fighting is great, very inventive (The part with the hidden dove was amazing! Very clever! But I still couldn't help laughing my ass off, because it was totally unexpected!) There's a lot of reversed scenes too, maybe it's to give us the illusion of the ninja's doing incredible back-flips up a wall, but it just looks silly!

The dubbing is also quite funny, it's done in such a poor way, you can't stop wondering why the hell they didn't just use the original audio-track, since almost all the actors were English-speaking anyway! Oh well, maybe they just couldn't afford proper microphones and sound...or something.

I always enjoy watching a good movie like this, especially when it's with Alexander Lou and Eugene Thomas, they make a very good pair! They were like the Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker of the 1980's! Except when we laugh at them, it's most likely unintentional.

If you like entertaining martial arts, creative ideas, atrocious dubbing, that good old 80's vibe, and totally crazy off-the-wall directing, then this movie is for YOU! And watching it with a bunch of friends sure helps it A LOT! I give it 9/10, but only because I liked "Mafia vs. Ninja" and "The Super Ninja" better! The entertainment value is top-notch! Worth every minute you spend watching it!

The always excellent Alexander Lou once again dons full ninja regalia and fights for justice in this rather enjoyable ninja outing, brought to us by the same director who gave us the classic 'The Super Ninja' aka 'Killers Invincible'

The plot here is a nice and straight forward 'hero must rescue girlfriend in peril from someone who once saved his life' affair. The 'someone' in question is played by big George Nicholas who ninja fans will instantly recognise as one of the ninja good guys in the hugely enjoyable 'Sakura Killers'

Of course as you might expect our hero must firstly battle his way through legions of his nemesis' ninja minions in some superbly choreographed (but mostly hideously sped up!) fight scenes which fill out the majority of the movies running time.

Yes it's somewhat formulaic stuff but is still nonetheless a fun one and a half hour ride if you like this sort of thing.

One point to watch out for though......the dubbing is particularly horrendous in this although to be fair...such an aspect in my opinion actually serves to raise the enjoyment bar as it provides some amusing comic relief in a film which actually seems to take itself deadly seriously(!!!)