Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Never has the words "hidden gem" been so accurate. Bad movie lovers might search all over for the next hidden obscurity, sometimes coming up short with stuff like Weasels rip my flesh, but other times, luck will prevail and you might end up with something like Death Bed, then hopefully realizing it's not a bad movie at all, it just has a bad title, and not even a bad title, but a humorous one that might throw you off, but Somehow Death Bed obviously still fits into the "bad" category, and there just ain't no way around that. With a vibe that's somber and empty, Death Bed is a true masterpiece of low-budget horror, reserved only for those fortunate enough to appreciate such a dark shadow of a vision.

Death Bed involves an incoherent, yet intriguing relationship between a demon in the bed and the sympathetic ghost trapped in the portrait, who only wishes he could spare someone from the awful fate of being devoured by the yellow suds. Although not all that scary, considering it's about a killer bed, Death Bed possesses the qualities that make for successful horror. A dark, desolate vibe, confusion, an eerie, subtle score and that dream quality that this masterpiece almost flaunts. Such a quality, or vibe usually seems unintentional. Not only is it intentional, but from what I've read, Death Bed is based on an actual dream, George Barry, the director, successfully transferred dream to film, only a genius could accomplish such a task.

Old mansions make for good quality horror, as do portraits. Not sure what to make of the killer bed with its killer yellow liquid. A bizarre dream, indeed. Also, this isn't quite the brand of B-horror I was expecting, considering the cheesy title and all. Before viewing this Gothic gem, I expected something more like Class Reunion Massacre. Now thats a bad movie, if you've seen it, you know what I'm saying. After considering all of the above, I feel like Death Bed deserves eight stars, but the mysterious charm of this one lingers long after the arrival of the internet era, which counts for something. 6/10

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)

** (out of 4)

Hear me out. A bed that is possessed by a demon eats anyone who gets on it.

Yes, that's pretty much the story of this film, which was written and directed by George Barry. This one filmed turned out to be the only film Barry ever did and it's certainly unlike anything else out there. I've read several reviews about this film including a few in books that discussed the worst movies ever made. I also read about it in Stephen Thrower's Nightmare USA where it was given a different point of view. Personally speaking, I can see why some would call it one of the worst movies ever made but at the same time you have to admit that the film is original and it does contain some fresh ideas.

DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS is a very strange and surreal movie. There's a certain European feel that hangs over it and there's no question that it has a certain atmosphere that is hard to explain. The entire idea of a movie about a bed that eats people is ridiculous but at the same time how many times do you watch a horror movie and then bash it for being the same old thing that we've seen countless times? You really can't say that about this movie because it is original and there's nothing else like it.

Obviously when you're dealing with a movie about an eating bed, there's not too much that can be done in regards to a story. There's very little plot here and the majority of the running time are just short vignettes that have a variety of people show up at this castle, sit on the bed and get pulled in. The special effects certainly aren't anything great with the "bubbles" coming up and then we get a cut-away of the people inside the bed. The visual images of "inside the bed" are decent for what they are.

The performances are pretty much what you'd expect out of a low-budget exploitation movie. There's some decent blood throughout as well as some nudity so the director at least knew how to build up the movie. I'm not sure if it was accidental or not but I did find stuff here to enjoy. It's certainly a very weird movie but I thought it was at least mildly entertaining.

This is a very odd movie. From what I gather, a demon becomes infatuated with a woman and somehow magically conjures up a bed for him to satisfy his carnal desires with her. But the woman dies and that causes some blood to fall upon the bed and suddenly come to life--with a desire to devour any human who sleeps upon it. I guess it's what beds that are conjured by demons do. Anyway, in order to eat a person the bed secrets some type of yellow fluid (which I suppose is an acid of some sort) and essentially engulfs the person. However, there are a couple of people who apparently intrigue the bed so much that it behaves very differently toward them. For starters, there is an artist who painted a portrait of it and because of that he has been trapped behind the painting overlooking the bed. His comments are then given freely during the movie to clue the viewer in to what is going on. Trust me, they are definitely needed. Likewise, there is a woman who has eyes that resemble the woman the demon lusted after and as a result the bed is initially scared of her and bleeds inside whenever she is around. At least initially. Now, if the plot wasn't weird enough, the characters are pretty dumb too as they don't seem to say-or think-very much. They basically see a bed in the middle of nowhere and want to sleep on it. Naturally, they get eaten and in some cases flowers grow on the ground outside of the building where the bed is located. I'm not sure why but perhaps it has something to do with Newtonian physics. Or maybe not. In any case, like I said earlier, this is a weird movie and because of that I recommend it only for those who either like bad films for some odd reason or have plenty of beer (or other type of alcoholic beverages) on hand. Failing either of these conditions you might want to skip this particular film all together. Below average.

I'm not sure what I can add that hasn't already been said in some of these other fine, and quite hilarious, comments, but Ill try.

So you know the plot: there is a bed possessed by a demon that "absorbs" and selectively disintegrates the bodies of whoever (or whatever) lays on it with its orange soda-filled body. We have the man, in some scenes looking uncannily like Robert Smith of The Cure, hanging out inside the wall commenting on the goings-on, and we have our various victims that just cant resist the comfort of this mystical bed.

This is no ordinary bed. No sirree Bob! Not only does it eat people, but it cleans up after itself, draws the covers back, and it even makes itself. Who wouldn't want a bed like that? It can even use its sheets as a rudimentary "lasso" to wrangle escaped victims back in (especially if they're taking up half the length of the film to try and escape).

Our "main" story (if you can call it that), is about these three girls who go out to this remote area to house-sit(??). I don't recall exactly, but it doesn't really matter though as there are plenty of things that defy convention that you just have to give in and accept. The dialogue in the film is like no other; the characters talk to each other seemingly by telepathy as their mouths never seem to move and there is a constant echo. One of our girls believes she isn't liked by the rest of "the gang" and makes sure to tell us all her feelings on this matter through an echoey voice-over, but we don't care; character development was thrown out the window a LONG time before in this film so why start now? There are scenes when the bed laughs, snores, crunches, and makes various other noises that we assume judging by our cast's non-reaction to said noises, cant be heard. This and the telepathy makes the issue of diegesis very difficult to ascertain...but thats OK....this is Death Bed: The Bed That Eats and it defies all logic so its OK. It makes for a lush dreamy quality to this most bizarre film If you buy (hehe buy...did I say "buy"?) this DVD, make sure to check out the introduction by the director. He explains that the filming of this "flick" started in 1972, didn't wrap up until 1977, he shopped it for a few years with no luck, and then fast forward 26 years to 2003 it gets released on DVD. Supposedly someone somewhere had a print of this in some other country and made bootleg after bootleg of it and it was quite by chance, on a message board no less, that our director found evidence that people knew, and gasp! cared, about his little-known film. Its from there that he decided to give it a shot and release it. I'm glad he did. Once you've even so much as heard the title to this film, you MUST see it. I for one am going to buy this and I'm going to preach its gospel around the world...starting with this comment

The premise- a demon falls in love with a maiden and assumes human form in order to make love to her. She dies as a result of this preternatural union, and the mournful demon cries tears of blood upon their carnal bed. The blood is absorbed, bestowing the bed with a predatory animate existence. Nestled within a ramshackle guesthouse, it lies in wait through the ages...a bloodthirsty canopy bed which consumes anyone unfortunate enough to rest upon it. A strange concept for a horror film, indeed, but the presentation is far, far stranger...

This no-budget oddity was composed with a very peculiar artistic finesse...not so much pretentious as self-consciously esoteric, it merges trash cinema sleaze with flourishes of oneiric surrealism(it's largely narrated by the spirit of 19th-century nouveau illustrator Aubrey Beardsley, helplessly imprisoned within a painting on a wall opposite the killer bed). This eccentric admixture doesn't really gel perfectly, but that is certainly not to imply that DEATH BED is a bad film, just that it's very bizarre and obvious of its restrictive budget...I personally consider it one of the most original and inventive amateur horror projects I have ever seen.

Opinions about this one will be all over the board, but there's no denying that DEATH BED is unique. I recommend it strongly to all fans of outré cinema. 7/10.