MediEvil II

I'm not going to go into a diatribe about the quality of sequels, because everybody already knows it. What's odd is that here, if you only glance at it, you may miss that this is awful. I'll try to explain what makes it bad, and not only as a follow-up to something marvelous. The concept is flawed, doesn't fit(how Gothic was 1880's London?) and doesn't completely work(common sense is thrown out the window left and right in this). Is there any point to the half a dozen or so characters(all lame caricatures), other than to deliver quirk(subdued and cute in the first, jammed down our throats this time around)? I see none. The writing of them is the kind we cringe at in Saturday morning cartoons. Before, Dan spoke in a mumbling manner, due to the lack of a jaw. That didn't mean that he came off as a retard as he does here, if he did speak in relatively few, repeated sentences. They gave him the voice, and, to an extent, the vocabulary, of freaking Mr. Bean! At one point, he does *charades*! Essentially all of the "humor"(including the dark stuff) is stupid and childish, and a bunch of it is gross-out comedy, which again is a massive step down. In spite of everything positive(and this tends to screw it up) in this being from the first(which had a genuinely original idea and story, and where you felt motivated, where this is stitched from clichés and random crap they thought of, that you keep at with the same sick curiosity that makes people slow down when they pass a car crash), this dismisses everything that was cool and epic about it, and is generally openly disrespectful(even the nods are phoned in). Up to this point, maybe you're saying "ok, fine, I can live with that, the game-play is the most important aspect, anyway". You know what, in a whole lot of cases, I agree wholeheartedly. And in any case, it is poor, as well. Simply put? This is, except for a select couple of things, not fun. It really isn't. Tedious? Kinda. Hard? Far too much so. Infuriating? Without a shadow of a doubt. Enemies are too tough, always have an easier time of hurting you up close than vice versa, can barely be stunned(meanwhile, any hit you take will stop your current attack, so if several are going at you at the same time, you're toast), and several can defend themselves for as long as they please(and some can still hurt you while they do!). There're also too many of them. You usually have no choice but to run around, slash at random and get lucky shots at them, and you'll *still* have trouble. I get the feeling that they wanted to make it challenging beyond what the first was(I will admit that it might have needed a little, which is not to say that it's all easy), and they threw in everything they could think of that might help that, without stopping to check if they reached a proper limit. And that in spite of the tone being purely directed at kids. Fountains of Life now stay gone once they've been used, so you can basically forget replaying any of this, without starting over with a new file. Why? Money stays, and so do the Vials that also regenerate you. You can still use an earlier mission to refill the bar and Bottles, so what was the point? Guys, you're removing weeds with a nuke, here. The level(all again reasonably short) design is fine(and they're actually a tad more varied than those of the first), if the fact that this is entirely story-driven, as well as the linear nature *really* show here, however, once you finish one, you better have full health, because it's boring, repetitive and time-consuming to get more after that point, *and* you lose it really fast. You'll want to do perfect each time, the first time, which is of course impossible, so your best bet is to instantly redo it, and improve, before storing your progress. They're trying to force you to replay, thus prolonging the game in a fake and negative way! This has puzzles galore, surpassing the amount in the first, and they suck less than the action(though they aren't all terribly logical). The areas where this goes in a different direction than the main game-play tend to be pretty good, both of them. I won't provide details here, and maybe avoid reading about the things in the manual, either, until you get to them. The arsenal is smaller, and the handful of new weapons aren't that interesting(apart from the very last one). You can now ready two of 'em at the same time, and switch back and forth between the ones you have lined up without going into the inventory, which is nice. With all they changed, you'd think they'd bother to fix the camera, the one thing one could particularly complain about in the first(and at that, only a little). It's worse here, among other things because of all the tricky jumping you have to do. You can lop limbs off foes, though it is solely a visceral thing, it doesn't slow them down like in the House of the Dead franchise. The opponents are irritating, the AI tends to have them either mercilessly hunt you down, or wander randomly around, often *away from you*. Everything seems to hurt you. The torch is well-done. Saving is awkward. The boss battles are mixed. There are a lot of them. A new feature is that you can take your head off, and put it on one of those Thing-like hands, and that is necessary to solve certain things, which adds to this. In the end... after you complete this, hey, you may be relieved... then again, the anger will probably remain lingering somewhat, and you likely won't be proud or happy. I recommend this solely to those who enjoy torturing themselves. 6/10