Cry Wilderness

This movie appears in my nightmares. I wish so badly to go back to the time when I never saw this, but unfortunately I'm stuck with knowing it exists. It made me ask many questions: Who greenlit this monstrosity? What were they high on? Did they owe a favor to someone? Letting this dumpster fire become an actual movie should have resulted in criminal punishment. Jail time at the very least.

I place this movie in my personal category of movies that cross into an area of unusually poor film-making, and in doing so, leave you unable to pull yourself away. Even telling friends, you have to see this movie because it is SO bad. I have to tell myself that this is the goal of those who make movies like this. I just can't honestly accept that someone wrote this, thought it was good, and was able to make the movie, with the honest intention of having it be good. So, if you are considering watching this movie, chances are it's because you've found it at a library, (I've never seen it in any video store), but if you have made the unfortunate decision to pay money to rent, or, heaven forbid, buy it, I suggest a healthy dose of your preferred inebriant and low expectations. REALLY low expectations.

This movie was chosen as episode 2 of the reboot of MST3K for a reason. It's not even "so bad it's good", just plain bad.

The story doesn't go anywhere, I've seen better editing from the average 11 year old's YouTube video, the acting is seriously painful to watch, and the whole thing is just completely disjointed. It's like a fever dream from which you just can't wake up from.

The only thing that saved the movie was the MST3K riffing, some of the funniest (and edgiest!) I've heard. Do yourself a favour... if you MUST watch this schlock, watch the MST3K version.

From out of focus shots, to shots you couldn't connect with Legos, to acting so wooden you look for termites 🐜... This is BORING, plot less, and totally disjointed, with inadvertent time travel as the film constantly jumps from fall to winter (snow ❄ in one shot, gone in the next). A complete waste from start (at the world's worst museum) to finish (at a raccoon filled cabin) THIS is cinematic torture!

Cry Wilderness (1987)

* (out of 4)

Paul (Eric Foster) is a young student who runs away from his school after Bigfoot tells him that his forest ranger father is in trouble. You see, the previous summer Paul and Bigfoot became friends but no one believes the kid. Now the kid is reunited with his father who is tracking down a dangerous tiger but there are bigger issues going on.

CRY WILDERNESS is a pretty darn bad movie but it's thankfully campy and silly enough to where you can get some entertainment out of it. The film comes from director Jay Schlossberg-Cohen whose only other credit was a segment he did for the even more awful NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR. This film here is certainly among the worst Bigfoot movies that you're going to see as everything they were going for just fails.

This was obviously meant to be a heart-warming tale of a boy and his friend ala something like E.T. but this film fails on pretty much all levels. The biggest problem is that there's really no connection between the viewers and the characters. All of the characters are pretty much one-note and even worse is the fact that the film just never builds up the relationships between them. We're supposed to care for this young boy and his father but we don't. There's supposed to be a tender moment between Bigfoot and the boy but it's silly more than anything else.

I will say that the film does offer up some decent performances but that's just about it. There's a lot of footage of various wildlife animals that is probably the most entertaining thing going on. It's really too bad that the film itself wasn't better or at least they could have used Bigfoot in more of the scenes. As it stands, CRY WILDERNESS will appeal to fans of bad movies but that's about it.