Hourglass

Hey, its a B movie that is reasonably entertaining. Its not going to be nominated for a academy award, but thats not why you watch B movies. The plot moves and is coherent which is bettor than a lot of B movies. Sofia Shinas is absolutely gorgeous and bares her soul in the flick which is worth the $2.00 rental fee. My suggestion is to have one of your favorite adult beverages prior to viewing and a second during it will put you in the proper frame of mind for this flick. This is simply a beach novel on film that doesn't require any thought, after a hard day at the office easy to unwind to. So if your looking for mindless entertainment with some beautiful women in it this might be up your ally.

Fashion magnate Michael Jardine (C. Thomas Howell) discovers his wife's dead body. Thus, begins Michael's journey into a nightmare world of darkness and death.

Or, something like that.

We're also shown a nightmare world of the fashions, exercise crazes, and music of the 1990's! A world where a beautiful woman (Sofia Shinas) simply appears in Michael's life, and Ed Begley Jr. Plays a cop.

HOURGLASS is what could be called an erratic erotic thriller. Howell and Shinas do have a certain chemistry, in the same way that jumbo burritos and beer generate a certain chemistry when voraciously indulged in.

The story is disjointed and absurd. It could / should have been a schlock classic like TROLL 2, but its boredom factor is far too high, relegating it to the toilet-raft section. This is very sad. After all, how many movies feature cameos by both Carrot Top AND Don(ny) "Ralph Malph" Most?!

I rest my case...

I bought this movie because it offered Kiefer Sutherland as one of the leading cast... he was in it, for about 5 minutes.

Anyway, when I fell out with one of my friends, I gave him the video knowing that he would sit and watch it, wasting 90 minutes of his life. Enough said.

Beautiful, smart, dangerous, ruthless, tai-chi practicing Sophia Shinas is pretty much the only bright spot of this dud. For the story to have any chance of being less than absolutely ludicrous, we have to believe that the male lead can clearly see that the right thing to do is run away from this woman, but he is unable to do so because she is simply irresistible. And thanks to Shinas' presence, we believe it. The rest of the movie though....C. Thomas Howell is bland until maybe the last 5 minutes, and the plot couldn't be any more predictable. And don't be deceived by some famous names mentioned on the video box (Kiefer Sutherland, Timothy Bottoms, Lou Diamond Phillips), they all have essentially cameos. (*1/2)

C Thomas "Ponyboy" Howell starred in this, wrote it, directed it, and who knows what else. The question is why?

Although the movie is not that long (thankfully), it manages to eat up several unprecious minutes on a racquetball game, the outcome of which has no bearing on the plot or character development. (Just as well, because we can't really see how they're doing). Killed a few more minutes watching all four drives on a golf hole. Killed a few more with some psycho martial-arts lesbians beating up Ponyboy.

Plot? You bet. Let's see, kickboxing lesbians plot to take over fashion company and have sex on top of people on life support. Or something like that. Suffice it to say it won't be confused with "The Magnificent Ambersons" any time soon.

In addition to the other obvious problems, the movie also features cameos by "Carrot Top" and Donny Most. Mercifully, Potsie and Danny Bonaduce did not appear, but may be lined up for the sequel. (The movie ends with the promise of further adventures ......... I'm on pins and needles.)