The Pope Must Die

Religion has always been a contentious subject, and yet one ripe for satirical comedy. It's been done more than several times in recent years, with Kevin Smith's Dogma as well as Christopher Morris's Four Lions springing readily to mind. It was one however, that writers Peter Richardson and Pete Richens had failed to tackle on the small screen with their anarchic and predominantly satirical, The Comic Strip Presents...series of short films. They chose to satirize Catholicism with their third full-length feature film after, The Supergrass and Eat the Rich. Frequently collaborating together with the results being decidedly hit-and-miss. However, when they really hit at times they really could hit the mark. It's with some semblance of goodwill then that I approached, The Pope Must Die hoping that it might be rewarded.

With Robbie Coltrane, in the title role as the eponymous new pope, C. David "Dave" Albinizi. A dedicated priest who before his appointment to Pontiff works in an Italian orphanage run by Nuns. Whose unconventional methods raise the ire of the Mother Superior (veteran actress Annette Crosbie of, One Foot in the Grave and Dr. Finlay fame). A clerical error upon the death of the last Pope finds the small-time priest in the hallowed position. One that proves timely as he was given his marching orders by his boss. Meanwhile, head Italian mafioso Vitorrio Corelli, (Herbert Lom) has insinuated his influence into the Catholic Church. Becoming more and more rife with corruption, and wants to see the new Pope, "taken care of." He becomes enraged upon learning that the wrong man has been given the role. He had his eyes set on another to fill the vacancy.

There is at the heart of the film, the potential for some great satire, and Coltrane invariably makes for a likable leading man. Bringing considerable warmth and conviction to Albinizi. It does indeed get off to a promising start with the early scenes being fairly engaging and the absurdist nature of its humor. One was often a mainstay of Richardson and Richens's work with The Comic Strip team (of which Richardson was the founding member) working well. It does indeed raise a few chuckles. As a biting satire on the inner workings of the Vatican, and allegations of corruption that have dogged the institution for decades which ranks as only just one of its misdemeanors over the years. It feels like something of a wasted opportunity.

While there are early hints at the sardonic edge that we've come to expect it proves to later be decidedly unfocused and rather shallow. It's as if they're holding back which gets in the way of the political and social commentary. Comically over-the-top characters that permeate the film's narrative although initially raising a smile do begin to wear pretty thin, as does the plot which just goes from absurd to plain ridiculous with its plot developing into a bit of a contrived shambles in its final act. It's by this point it feels like it has descended into a one-joke concept that has run out of steam. Not even the scenes involving John Sessions and Steven O'Donnell as two bungling hitmen, sent to carry out Corelli's dirty work despite the efforts of both actors do much if anything to raise laughs. Any attempts involving the duo simply feel forced. All the while, Adrian Edmondson, a former Comic Strip regular and writer along with Richardson and Richens feels underused and wasted as a hard-of-hearing Vatican Priest who delivers some of the movie's scarce laughs. With Paul Bartel and yes, Peter Richardson (who makes more of an effort on screen than he clearly has on the paper) doing the best they can to strain laughs from the flimsy script but it's ultimately a losing battle.

The Pope Must Die, I can at least say is not the worst of the movies that both Richardson and Richens collaborated on. Their later attempt at satire proved even less successful with Churchhill: The Hollywood Years bombing at the box office thirteen years later proving to be arguably the nadir of their respective careers. It does after all benefit from the reliable presence of Coltrane as it does the rest of its strong cast, but even they cannot prevent it from being something that could have been so much more and lacks the innovative, searing wit that was better served on the small screen than it was on the big.

I recently hired a VHS of the Comic Strip feature film "The Pope Must Die" (starring Robbie Coltrane), which unapologetically presents the premise that the Vatican is run by dolts and scheming money-grabbing opportunists, some of whom are backed by the mafia.

The plot revolves around the consequences of a clerical error which caused a totally incorruptible and highly compassionate priest to be elected as Pope. When the Pope attempts to give all the Vatican's riches to help the poor, his fate is sealed. This film may be a comedy - but it's easy to suspect that there are large elements of truth involved. That being said - there is no attempt by the film-makers to portray the rank and file clergy as anything less than good people doing their charitable best in the world.

I am amazed at the convincing (to my untravelled eye) locations that were secured by the producers for the interior shots.

Paul Bartel turns in one of his best performances - on par with Robbie Coltrane. It's not a perfect script or plot, but the errors are few and this film has plenty of heart.

To compete with King Ralph, this hot mess of a movie was rushed out to make a few dollars. The result is a stupid movie. While King Ralph is ridiculous, it is not dumb. It is a comical look into a very odd and unlikely scenario where an unlikely person becomes King. On the other hand, this movie is dumb. The Pope Must Die / Diet tries to be a comical story about a stupid scenario where an unlikely, unquailed, unknown and unpopular person becomes Pope without any checks or balances or common sense.

In a word where there is no checks and balances and where movies rely on one joke scenes, the Pope Must Die / Diet fails on all levels. A waste of a talented cast, the storyline Is not only dumb but insults its audience to allow any notion that the premise is believable. King Ralph is entertaining for a vast audience, young and old. There are multiple funny moments along with drama which makes it a good movie.

This sad excuse of a movie has no drama or comedy and, worse, has no audience. It is an insult to comedy, drama, Catholics, Italians, mobsters and even common sense. There are moments worth watching, but for an 84-minute movie, there should be at least a minute or two worth stomaching, let alone digesting. All in all, this is just crap.

Some scenes are just completely ignorant without any signs of worth. King Ralph would have some smart explanations to compliment the slapstick and over the top funny moments. Here, there are scenes that are just filler to get to the next scene. There is no purpose other than to just add more time to this mess of a movie.

The late Robbie Coltrane does his best to be a John Goodman Jr in his portrayal of a bumbling clown that has accidently slipped into the shoes of the Pope. Still, his character is only given moments to explain his back story and motivation. He never questions anything until he puts on the papal vestments, travels across Italy and is shown the insulting fictional accounts of the Pope's residents. This is not only hard to swallow for any audience member that you want to connect with this character, who is supposed to be likeable and sympathetic. It is hard to consider him either as the story gets more and more unrealistic.

In defense of this crap movie, by the halfway point, the movie becomes a complete farce. Although it tries to have some dramatic flair, the movie abandons any effort to be serious and goes into complete joke show to keep some members of the audience entertained.

Like chocolate spaghetti this movie has an acquired taste and a limited audience. With a re-write, this movie could be considered a cult classic. It is not because you can tell, this movie was rushed to make a deadline.

.... was the tagline for this movie, and if you want something to take seriously, this ain't it.

Some of the voters and commenters for this movie appear to belong to those particular group of planet-dwellers for whom everything needs a reason, and to whom every joke needs to be explained in detail, so that they can see why they should find it funny.

Coltrane, Edmondson, Lom, Rocco, and Sessions all give creditable if unchallenging performances using a script that is light-hearted without being offensive and a plot that is interesting without being stretching. The movie has a laugh at itself, it's subject, the actors, and also the viewers, some of whom obviously take life and movies far too seriously. IT'S ENTERTAINMENT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

Oh, by the way I really enjoyed the movie - helped me to take my life off the hook for 90 minutes.

This silly story of an ethical priest (Coltrane) with more good heart than religious scholarship overflows with cartoon-like characters. The Reverend Mother over the orphanage hates fun and children. The Bishop is intent on church business to the exclusion of expressions of faith. The Monsigneur assisting the pope and Cardinal Rocko are working for the local gun-runner/mafia boss. The hit men claim work they didn't do, and deny work they did. And on and on.

Understand that the point of the picture is not to make fun of the Vatican, but to show an unstoppable presence that restores, time after time, sanctity and service to the Roman Catholic Church. Yes, certain figures are shown to be unscrupulous and doing wrong. Yes, we can laugh about the crucifix flip-phone and a Cardinal confessing 'If you can think of a sin, I did it!' The bad guys don't win this one, though. The good guys generally end up supported and blessed (except poor Joe Don Dante and Carreli's daughter).

I have to admit thinking about the opening scenes during the final days of Pope John Paul II. And I cringe at the moments before the announced 'Pope's Dead!'. I imagine the story is a blend of farce and speculation on rituals at the Vatican, and not to be used in religious instruction. Irreverent small story, a bit of electric rock guitar. I wonder if it is on the hidden video collection/en suite bar for Pope Benedict XVI... I keep coming back to 'The Pope Must Diet' (USA title) for a little fun.