Bloodmatch

Five years ago, one of the world's greatest kickboxers killed Thom Mathews' brother. Someone had been fixing matches and he had to die to cover up the secret. Now Mathews is tacking them down and beating them to death to figure it out, as one does.

All right, it's a dumb plot, and the lines are dumb. People who go to see this sort of movie don't go for the Shakespearean tragedies and wild language, any more than I look at Fred Astaire movies for the Edward Everett Horton soliloquies. So how's the fight choreography? Lousy: chopped up, moving camera, every kick is cut ..... and not while moving, but between, screaming that this is a patched-together cut. True, ex-Playboy Playmate Hope Marie Carlton is present. It's the only movie I've seen with her in which she does not take off her clothes. I guess at 24, she was showing her age.

What's to say except it's garbage. The sound effects on the kicks and punches was generic and off. The plot is ridiculous and overused. There is nothing new or impressive out this movie. I love Mathews in Friday the 13th Jason lives but the dialogue was atrocious. Skip it.

When it was released back in '91, I remember watching the start a few times, my image, two men running in the desert heat, in profile, or was it more than two, and not continuing to watch it. When watching it last week, the next tortuous "when will it end?" scene, I remenber watching too, 30 years ago. Pre watch this time, I the painted this off as an entertaning, average quality watch, familiar to the Kickboxers, Wrong Bets, BloodSports, just without Van Damne. Sadly, what I found here, was a rude awakening. The films just mentioned, sequels and all, are better than Bloodmatch. This is even a low for Pyun. I can't believe he made this. This film is a joke. Horrific acting, yeah, you heard it. Horrific. Stilted, wooden, no feeling, laughable, unbelievable, atrocious, amateur, as is the whole affair here. What's tragic here, was the different, original, and interesting story, marred by a bad script, and some of the worst acting I've ever seen. One of the beefcake villains, was so bad, I had to slap myself in the face, and then some to get a reality check. Stopping about half way, I watched the rest of Bloodmatch the next day. As soon as I put the video on, straight away, the same horrific acting took straight up again. It hurts me, to explain the impressive story, because of what could of been, so I'm not gonna. The movie's ruined more by the stupid twist, adding to the amateur attributes.

All through "Bloodmatch," I was like, that main actor looks so familiar. And then I looked him up after the movie and realized he's Tommy Jarvis from "Friday the 13th Part VI." When the most famous actor in a movie is most known for the sixth episode in a slasher film franchise, that tells you something right there about the quality of the movie you're watching.

"Bloodmatch" is so funereally paced and set to such an incongruous, droning score, that it unfortunately is more boring than bad movie good. I could summarize the plot, but....ha! Ha!.....why? It might be the most monotonously structured movie I've ever seen. There's a twist ending I think, but since the plot devolves into the incomprehensible, it might just be a normal ending to a plot that doesn't make any sense in the first place. I'm not really sure, and trust me, this movie is not worth the mental energy required to figure out what happens.

And this also has to be one of the darkest movies I've ever seen. I don't mean in tone or subject matter -- I mean it's literally so dark you can't see what's happening half the time. It's like the budget was so small that they couldn't afford enough lights. Tip to the filmmakers -- if you have to cut some things for budget reasons, start with a couple of the terrible actors before you start cutting things like lighting. Hey, it would have reduced the amount of plot and made your film shorter to boot. That's a win for everybody!

Grade: D-

well well well.....

How could this movie fail?

with benny the jet, and a host of other talented kickboxers, this film was sure to be great......right...

(Sarcasm kicks in here)

It was

It was truly excellent

The best part was the story, with characters who did nothing for the whole movie except kick each other. And the kicking was great too, simply because of the fight editing. An experienced editor would show one kick when the actor did one kick but this editor made the fighting 5 times better by replaying all the punches and kicks 5 times. Pure genius. This way, he has achieved his goal of completely confusing the viewer (how is that possible in a fight scene), because you dont know whether or not the punches are replayed or the real thing. So, you might as well fast forward throught the fight scenes because they are too mentally taxing (trying to figure out who hits each other). Then you can watch the story in all its glory.

In my ignorance, i couldn't really follow the twisted plot, but it seems that billy's dad was killed in the desert, so now he can gather together all these kickboxers at random and get them into a ring, where he can proceed to kill all of them, even thought he knows they were innocent. This way, there is a lot of killing which makes no sense at all. This also gives the director an opportunity to throw in a sex scene. Great movie.

(Sarcasm stops here)

Crap movie. Why the hell did he kill all the people when he knew they were innocent? I thought he was the good guy!

3rd worst movie ever

After bloodsucking freaks and bloodfight (Notice how all the crap movies start with blood)

1/10