Kickboxer 4

David Sloan (Sasha Mitchell) is in prison after a frame job. Tong Po is still seeking revenge and regaining his honor from the Sloan family. He kidnaps David's wife. The DEA is looking to take down Tong Po who has become a top drug kingpin in Mexico. They send David. Tong Po has a fight tournament.

Tong Po looks weird. He's definitely wearing a head cap and the eyes are bad. I know they're using a different actor, but they really shouldn't do that. The best part of this movie is opening which recounts the earlier movies especially the first one. That says it all. Michele Krasnoo plays the main side character. The issue with her is that she starts by losing her fights all the time. Everybody is laughing at her. I don't mind that the five foot nothing fighting expert has a role in the movie. It may be better if she is Tong Po's prisoner forced to fight. This franchise is losing traction even as a B-movie series. It is slowly dying.

At first, I was hopeful: here is an Albert Pyun movie about a fighting tournament that DOESN'T involve cyborgs or post-apocalyptic wastelands, so there will be fewer distractions from the fighting. Tough luck: Pyun finds a way to screw it up again, with ridiculous one-man-defeats-twenty brawls, gratuitous nudity, inexplicable and laughably out-of-place sex scenes, torture, etc. The movie picks up only during the tournament itself, WHEN Pyun remembers to keep his camera focused on the fighters, that is. As others have said, the guy who plays Tong Po wears so much eye makeup that he looks as if he just stepped out of a "beauty" saloon. Michelle "Mouse" Krasnoo shows potential, however; I wouldn't mind seeing her again, in a better movie. (*)

After watching Kickboxer 4, late last night (2am-4am) on FX, my only response is, wow. I thought the movie was fun to watch! The acting was pretty bad, the story was stupid and cliché, the fight scenes were poorly done and I was expecting the main character to all of a sudden say his catch phrase "DUDE!" from Step by Step.

What was with almost every character looking like a famous person? I'm really happy to see Frank Zappa was able to act in a film before his untimely death.

Also, why did every bad-ass character in that movie end up to be a wimp at the end. Frank Zappa snapped a guys neck, then smashed his head into the ground for fun (in an OR scrub) and beat the crap out of all those people in the beginning (in a bright red polo shirt). But here comes big bad Cody, doesn't even elbow him in the face, "I've had enough!". Same thing with the so called "savage international terrorist". He kicked total butt in the beginning and then at the end he scurrys off like one of those flying monkeys in the Wizard of OZ.

I did enjoy the movie though, wouldn't nominate it for a Grammy though. But my liking was mostly due to the fact that I felt like a member of the "Mystery Science 3000" cast, making fun of almost every scene.

And what the hell was with that "hiss" Sloan did at the end? Damnit, i need a cigarette.

In the annals of the truly great thespians there are names that ring eternal, Dudikoff, Fahey,...and Mitchell. Sasha Mitchell strives and works his butt off for what Keanu Reeves makes look easy. Complete and utter lack of talent. Looking to all the world like a muscular, less talented Boner from Growing Pains, (you remember Boner from Growing Pains don't you? Sure, Boner?), Sasha lurches through his scenes with the single minded determination to show nothing that may be confused with actual acting. He reads his lines like it's the first time he's seen them, emotionless, cold...like Mother Russia. Are you sure you don't remember Vinnie Stabone? Anyway.

You may be asking yourself, "Bob, why start with Kickboxer 4? Why not go back to Kickboxer 2, and watch the hero's journey that Sasha takes. Maybe you're being a little hard on him." Well, first, going back would mean I would have to tender some kind of coin to view the earlier Kickboxer movies, and there are other things I could spend my money on...like a singing Billy Bass. Also, KickBoxer 2 and 4 were directed by my personal nemesis. Pyun...director of the worst movie of all, or any time...Radioactive (shudder) Dreams.

Hey, Fun fact, Tong Po is played by different actors. It's one guy in two, and another guy in 4...and neither one of them were Asian. so you've got those ugly ass fake eye makeup...why not get Bolo Leung to play Tong Po? At least he's Asian. You know, Bolo Leung, big muscular Asian actor from Double Impact? Hey, speaking of Double Impact and Van Damme....the fact that Van Damme wasn't in any of the kickboxer sequels should be warning enough for you. If Van Damme looked at the script and said, "Uh...no, Even I won't stoop thees low." well, it can't get any plainer than that friends and neighbors.

If you must make a sequel to Kickboxer, why not explore the character of his (Boner's) trainer, Xian played with subtle mastery by Dennis Chan. Why not a tender portrayal of Chan returning to Thailand to confront his father's alcoholism and troubled childhood and the girl he left behind AND his dreams of being a flutist in the Thai Symphony Orchestra. That would be bitterSWEET. There wouldn't have to be any kicking in it. NONE. I'm tired of the kicking. I want to see Kickboxer 5: Xian's Homecoming. Peace.

In Sasha Mitchell's final series appearance, Kickboxer 4 emerges as the most enjoyable sequel due to it's sheer ridiculousness which make this prime guilty pleasure material for fans of this kind of thing. I myself remember this entry quite well, I remember seeing this on the USA channel some night back in 1995. At the time USA was running an "Up all night" program which played cornball movies (Not unlike this one) and featured a nasal voiced blonde bimbo delivering her would be observations on the world. So naturally the audience knew what they were in for. Now 11 years later (After I bought the 5 pack)Kickboxer 4 is easily the most blissfully stupid of the series which I for one appreciate. The biggest problems with # 2 and # 3 were that they A)took themselves seriously B)Had little kickboxing. Kickboxer 4 comes through in spades in the fight department. There is so much karate chopping and brutal action that I couldn't help but smile. Aside from that though, Kickboxer 4 spins it's stupid plot with a a deadly serious tone which of course makes the ridiculousness even more apparent and therefore adds to the fun factor. Plus Kickboxer 4 is one of the most surreal movies i've ever seen.

* *1/2 out of 4-(Pretty good)