Cocaine Wars

Fresh off "The Dukes of Hazzard", John Schneider is a bad ass agent in South America battling a cocaine lord. Back in the 80's, cocaine was big. Coming from South America, and a federal agent from Miami is out to stop the dope king. His partner is killed, and he wants to avenge him, and end the shipment from hitting the United States. This movie is low budget, but has plenty of action and intrigue. Some of the choreographs are cheesy, but it is not boring. If you like John Schneider as Bo Duke, then this is right up your alley. There's no sliding off the hoods of cars though. A rainy day type of thing here. 2 out of 5 stars.

"Cocaine Wars" is almost exactly what you want from a movie with that name from that year. It has over the top macho main character, hilarious performances and dialogue and schizophrenic editing. Is it bad? Absolutely! Is it entertaining? Yes, especially with a group of friends who understand what they're in for. Add to the mix some gorgeous nature and a bit of nice female nudity and you have yourself a treat if you like this sort of stuff. My only complaint is that the poster of the movie would make you think you will watch nonstop action with firearms, while in reality, our main character starts shooting only at the end of the movie.

All in all, if you know what to expect, "Cocaine Wars" can offer a nice entertaining afternoon before it fades from your memory and frankly, that's all it needed and wanted to accomplish in the first place. 6/10!

This film begins with a pilot named "Cliff Adams" (John Schneider) landing his small airplane onto a makeshift runway near a plantation in South America which is owned by a drug lord by the name of "Gonzolo Reyes" (Ferderico Luppi). It's during this time that his colleague flying with him is killed in cold blood because he was suspected of skimming off some of the proceeds. Needless to say, this displeases Cliff quite a bit because he knew that his friend had been set up. From that point on, however, Cliff becomes a target by others within this criminal organization due in large part because of his attitude and the fact that he knows too much about those within the business. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that films like "First Blood" and "Missing in Action" were quite popular during this time period and this fact inevitably resulted in a plethora of copycats-with this particular picture being one of them. Unfortunately, it wasn't one of the better ones as it suffered from poor acting, a bad script and more than a few unrealistic action scenes. In short, I didn't find it that appealing and have rated it accordingly. Below average.

It's very rare, someone returns a video the same day they hired it. Such was the case with this cheapie Italian effort I hired back in 1987. The guy at the video store, cautioned me about it, saying "It was sick". Really, he should of told me straight out, "It's pretty crap". Dea undercover cop, Schneider (one of he Hazzard boys, if you can remember) stars in this junk, which I'm sure spent it's weeks, unwanted on the video shelf. At it's start, he witnesses he's friend, double crossed, also undercover, being slain at the hands of the merciless drug lord, Regis. An old flame, a female journalist, pops up in Schneider's life, after an attempt is made on his, where the other guy goes flying through the window of this seedy bar. The owner, Cliff's friend, who's been handed the assailant's weapon, tells buddy Schneider, later, "Cliff, you keep giving me these guns", which he does. He suggests turning the first gun into a lamp, the second into a family air loom. Schneider doesn't really seems phased about people trying to kill him. He acts pretty cool in fact. He ups the stakes too. Regis, before was screwing him over with money and a plane, after Schneider refused to kill a zealous anti/drug government official, trying to hit hard his message of abolishing the drug empire. Now Schneider starts screwing with Regis, where in turn, more attempts are made on his life. The same official-a friend of Schneider's girl team up together to bring down this bastard. Schneider is funny and so cool in some of his remarks, he sends out to his executors. A bit of sick violence, that being the torture/interrogation scene where electrodes are clipped to his nipples, where the amps are pumped up, each time his torturers don't get a proper answer. The highpoint of the Italian sleaze effort movie is the bad's guys face being shoved into a excess of cocaine. He snorts so much of it, as when he tries to stagger around, he eventually collapses, just proving, if you mess with cocaine, the results can be fatal. This movie is a half baked product. It's made as if it was done in a needed rush. Typical exploitation film, I was in a hurry for it to finish. Some viewers may take to throwing their head into a mountain of cocaine, after watching this crap. Given that said, though, Schneider does make it watchable.

The title and accompanying art work don't hold out much promise but this is a competent piece of film-making with several touches which lift it ever so slightly above the mediocre. However, the material is too routine and predictable to have much impact and its lack of distinction may have helped put an end to John Schneider's movie career. This is unfortunate since Schneider had both youth and size at this point and could possibly have competed with Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, and Chuck Norris for leads in action movies. (Assuming he got a better haircut.)

Schneider plays a man at odds with a South American drug lord and in one scene Schneider is captured and tortured for information by the drug lord's henchmen. He's stripped of his shirt, thus allowing him to show off an impressive but not over-muscled physique, and bound spreadeagled-style. Here, as is common throughout the movie, there's a small but imaginative touch that elevates the otherwise unexceptional proceedings.

As expected, Schneider is forced to endure electroshocks since electricity is almost always the torture of choice in these movies. And, as expected, his pants are left on, thus putting off-limits, in a gentlemanly sort of way, the very parts of his body most vulnerable to electric shocks! This means the sadistic henchman with the cattle-prod restricts himself just to shocks above his victim's waist. (Yes, there's the usual close-up of the tip of the prod being held to one of Schneider's sweaty nipples.)

But the sequence ends with a distinctive flair. Black-gloved hands pry apart Schneider's lips and we see the prod being roughly inserted into his mouth. Now, sticking something into the mouth of a man you're trying to make "talk" may not be very logical, but it gives the scene a sexual connotation that is often missing in these sequences, and it imparts to even a jaded audience the sort of chill that makes them pause and think: "Now, that must REALLY hurt."

Kathryn Witt, the indispensable "girlfriend," makes the most of trite material.