Le Mystère de la pyramide

...And I don't really know if that is saying a lot either. The Tomb tells the story of some stupid robber in Egypt disrupting the sacred tomb of an Egyptian sorceress, dead and yet still alive. The guy sells the artifacts found in the tomb, and the mummy(wearing low-cut outfits, breasts popping out here and there, and speaking as though she was picked up off of Hollywood Boulevard) goes to Los Angelos to get them back so she can perform a ritual sacrifice and stay young. Alright, the story is not too good, but the film is entertaining. For one of Ray's films, the acting is better than usual. Some nice performances by horror veterans Cameron Mitchell(he does a real fine job) and John Carradine in his five minutes of film raise the film from being strictly mundane. Throw in some great music and lots of T & A(a Ray specialty it seems...he even has Kitten Nativadad as a stripper in one scene doing some entertaining back-breaking bouncing) for extra measure. Let's not forget Sybil Danning too. Yep, she is in the film in the first five minutes only in what can be described as nothing more than a throw-away cameo. Her presence seems to be totally unnecessary, although I really am not complaining. Sure this film is a cheap B movie, but what the heck. Fred Olen Ray is living a lifetime dream of creating movies. His affection for the horror genre is obvious when he makes a point of giving cameos and roles to the likes of Mitchell, Carradine, and in other movies Robert Quarry, Carroll Borland, Kirk Allyn, and many more. He is not hiring them for their billing potential. It is nonexistent except to people like me who like to remember those fond memories of another time. He hires them for his love of their work. He gives characters in his movie names like Howard Phillips(named for H. P. Lovecraft) and David Manners(the actor who starred in the original Mummy as the heroic lead). It is easy for me and others to denegrate his work, and I have in other reviews, but like them or not...I applaud the fact that he went out and made them. Kudos Mr. Ray!

Mid-eighties grade-Z Indiana Jones knockoff starring David O'Hara as beer swilling tomb raider John Banning who unwittingly awakens an Egyptian sorceress Nefratis (Michelle Bauer) and becomes a pawn in her resurrected plans for world conquest, or something to that effect.

When looking at the cast of actors one might get the impression that with such B-movie royalty like Sybil Danning, John Carradine, and the always entertaining Cameron Mitchell that this movie might not be as bad as it sounds. You would be very wrong on that assumption. While all aforementioned actors try their best to elevate the "talent" level on screen they are collectively in the film for only about ten minutes with Mitchell making up the bulk of that time. Instead you get to watch the "don't quit your day job waiting at Spago's" performance buy the woefully inept Richard Hench who becomes the central character in the film about halfway in to it. The scenes with Hench and his professor sidekick are the visual equivalent of banging your skull off of a concrete wall. David O'Hara's character John Banning is so unlikeable that it's confusing as to why he wasn't rewritten better as the film clearly wants him to be the hero. Michelle Bauer's nudity free Nefratis sleepwalks throughout the movie. If anyone can tell me what the hell actually killed her at the end I would greatly appreciate it as I rewound it many times and failed to see what exactly happened. My word of advice for wary B-movie fans is if it says Olen Ray stay away!

This is an Indiana Jones-type film that was made on the cheap (VERY cheap). It features hot young guys running about sets that looked LESS convincing than the props in a spook house! It also features an airplane that explodes with one shot from a pistol, a band in pharaoh head gear and others dressed like mummies or wearing a fez singing "Tutti Frutti" (presumably in the Middle East), BAD dialog and acting and one embarrassing moment after another. When the film began, I knew it was crap--simply because of the cheapo soundtrack. It's all synthesizers and sounds pretty much like what other cheap 80s films sounded like (such as "Warlords of the 21st Century"). And, it features John Carradine--a guy who would have starred in ANYTHING (including tampon commercials) if they paid him in cash! It also features Cameron Mitchell--a once decent actor who, by 1986, was seriously looking for work. As for the rest, they're mostly unknown actors (aside from Sybil Danning, who made a career out of appearing in low-budget films)....and I can see why. Overall, it's the sort of picture that would have gone straight to videotape or been seen on the USA Network back in the late 80s. If you like crap, then give this one a try. As for me, I couldn't even finish this one...it was that lame.

Bram Stoker gets the cheesy 80s action movie treatment in this early Fred Olen Ray stinker. This is an adaptation of Stoker's novel, The Jewel of the Seven Stars. Obviously this is a very loose adaptation (so loose no credit is given), but make no mistake it's derived from his story about a female mummy. The action scenes are hilariously bad. A single gunshot makes a plane explode. The music is also the pits. As for the cast, David Pearson is the star not top-billed Thomas Mitchell. Actually all of the big names in this have small roles. I watched it mainly for Sybil Danning, so you can imagine how disappointed I was by her one scene. It's a pretty boring cheapie. Skip it

I remember reading a write up on this film, the standard fare put out by the promotions people. It sounded exciting, horrific, all the things I enjoy about a good mummy movie. Then I got the box home and knew I was in trouble. The cheesy art of the box cover was the first clue. It could just have easily been the cover for "Big Trouble in Little China" which was a much better film, but this was no comedy, at least not intentionally. To begin with the budget on this must have been all of a $1.85 with tax. Then there are the sets. The film was supposed to take place in Egypt, but the sets bore no resemblance whatever. Cameron Mitchell is no actor, no way, never been. I was especially disappointed to see aging horror star John Carradine and Sybil Danning in this as they are both usually in much better quality work. You can safely give this one a miss, unless you are a fan of "Plan 9 From Out Space." This is right down there with it.