Hard to Die

this is quite possibly the greatest piece of american cinema to date! jim wynorski is a genius. 5 girls in a lingiure factory + orville ketchum > tons of crazy hijinks. i watch this film daily to prepare for life. wonderful acting, plot, special fx!!! who is the killer? i still don't know after 233 viewings. all i do know is that if you haven't seen this film, your an idiot. my favorite film of all time. please please make another sequel!!!! slumber 4, soroity 3, or just hard to die 2. greatest film ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This mountain of melted cheddar is dumb, dumb fun. Director/producer Wynorski (who also helmed the raucously cheesy Chopping Mall) proves himself to be the unsung B-movie hero. Wynorski's films win because he creates schlock that believes in itself. This production doesn't have an air of superiority. It carries its ludicrous premise with a conspicuous joie de vivre and at a boisterous pace, all while avoiding the doldrums of self-parody. Wynorski also succeeds in that his intentionally funny and over-the-top ending is actually funny. He thus accomplishes the rather difficult task of creating a film that people will laugh at AND laugh with.

This film is actually the third entry in the Sorority House Massacre series, but stands just fine on its own (I've never seen the two preceding SHMs). It may be the best of the trilogy, downplaying the derivative slasher element that defined the first two films and instead taking an exuberant action-horror-comedy slant (the title, in case it wasn't obvious, is an obvious spoof of Die Hard). Just the image of our trashy-lingerie-wearing, bloody-breasted heroines brandishing automatic firearms is enough to alight the predilections of any cult film fan.

The art of motion pictures is young, but in lieu of the fact that this ground breaking film was made so early on, one can only look ahead to a bright future on the silver screen. Really, only three films come to mind: Dr. Zhivago, Casablanca, and Hard to Die.

Perhaps it was the buckets of watered-down blood, the squeak of a naked breast being washed in an arbitrary shower scene, or the powerful screen presence of the acting giant "Orville Ketchum." Whatever it may be, it made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me fall in love.

I am proud to say that I own a grainy, low quality copy of this piece of cinematic genius.

In the 80's and early 90's, one couldn't do any better for entertaining movie mega-cheese than Jim Wynorski or Fred Olen Ray. Ironically enough after the two collabreated on "Hollywood Scream Queen Hot Tub Party", neither's subsquesent movies were as entertaining. But I Digress, anyway this Wynorski film is about 5 girls doing inventory and stumbling on a puzzle box that contains the spirit of the guy from "Sorority House Massacre 2", but featuring clips from "Slumber Party Massacre" So of course they take turns showering, making insipid comments, running around in lingerie, and getting killed by a maniac. In short, great cheesy goodness.

My Mega-Cheese Grade: B

DVD Extras: Theatrical Trailer; Trailers for "Don't Sleep Alone", "Concealed Weapons", and 1997's "Expose"

Eye Candy: nearly all of the actresses get nude, take showers, or both

Pretty good, mindless fun; better than part II was.

A group of four (or three, or five, depending on the scene) scantily clad, large-breasted babes open a box from hell, and unleash a familiar demonic killer in plaid, who proceeds to wreck havoc in the high rise office building they're working in late one night. They open another crate, from which two more scantily clad babes fall out of and onto the floor. They finally realise that something isn't quite right, so turn to conveniently located high powered weaponry to stop this murderous fruitcake in plaid.

The sprinkler system goes off, just as an excuse to turn it into basically a wet t-shirt contest, and give the girls an excuse to shower. Not that there is anything wrong with that, however. The same lightning flashes from Sorority House Massacre II, which was lifted from Gilligan's Island, are reused again here for mood lighting.

This is a bit of moronic fun, better than part I and II (Sorority House Massacre I and II) were, but it still can't quite reach the same levels of high camp that it wants to, and ends up being a bit too silly for its own good. Not to mention long. But, any movie with Robyn Harris in a nightie is well worth watching.