Auntie Lee's Meat Pies

What's sad is: Karen Black and Pat Morita can do good work. They didn't here. What's also sad is: the cannibalism food product motif had already been done ten years earlier in "Motel Hell," which was weirder and much more original. And the supposedly sultry sex scenes at the end are freakin' awful. I was young in the '90s and remember this style of cinematography, and I'm glad it was only a fad. Put simply: even if you like cheesy horror movies, don't waste your time.

This film begins with a homicidal maniac by the name of "Bruno" (Richard Vidan) having car problems and after being picked up by a beautiful, young woman named "Magnolia" (Ava Fabian) pulls out a gun and orders her to drive onto an isolated dirt road. Once completely out of sight from anyone on the highway he then orders her to get out of the car where he proceeds to knock her out and rape her while she is dazed and confused. The tables quickly turn, however, when she regains consciousness and subsequently kills him with a sharp hair pin. At that point she calmly puts his body in the back of her car and drives off to her home where "Auntie Lee" (Karen Black) is more than happy to grind up his body in order to make her famous meat pies. The scene then shifts to a beautiful blonde named "Fawn" (Kristine Rose) picking up a hitchhiker by the name of "Bob Evans" (Stephan Quadros) and taking him to Auntie Lee's house where he is quickly killed and ground up as well. It's then revealed that Auntie Lee has two other nieces named "Coral" (Teri Weigel) and "Sky" (Pia Reyes) who also lure young men to the house to supply Auntie Lee with the necessary ingredient for her meat pies as well. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that--although it had an interesting plot--the movie lacked the necessary suspense to qualify as a horror film and the humor wasn't nearly as sharp as it should have been for a good comedy. So, what we're left with are four beautiful young ladies and a couple of good actors in Pat Morita (as "Chief Koal") and the aforementioned Karen Black. But nothing of any substance to really sink your teeth into--and I have rated this film accordingly. Slightly below average.

Auntie Lee's Meat Pies has the feel of an early 90s soft core porn if you replaced the sex with death.

As can be expected from this, the acting/dialogue are ridiculously cheesy. The special effects are are equally bad, looking like someone raided their local Spirit Halloween store for body part props.

Things get especially funny when a facsimile of Poison stumble into the kill lair, which starts to take on the look of a glow in the dark mini put. It's pretty nifty looking though, as the world simply doesn't have enough neon drenched massacres.

It's all good dumb fun if you enjoy the goofy take on grisly gore. Amusingly random casting as well, including scream queen Karen Black, Mr Miyagi, that weird looking dude from The Hills Have Eyes and a bunch of Playboy playmates.

From just reading the description, this sounded like a great time, but the execution is lacking. There are a few good gore gags and some creative camera angles/lighting effects, but it goes on too long and focuses on boring subplots instead of digging into the meat of the story.

"Auntie Lee's Meat Pies" is supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek (no pun intended) horror film. Basically, Aunti Lee (Karen Black) employs her four nieces to lure unsuspecting men to their shack. The men are then robbed of all their belongings and get ground up as meat pies to hide the evidence.

The only way you can really stomach this film (no pun intended) is by looking for the stars. Karen Black took the role to break what she thought was her pigeon-holing as a good two-shoes. It's fun to see Pat Morita take a break from his Karate Kid series to play the sheriff. The best cameo belongs to Huntz Hall as a farmer. Hall, for those who don't know, was one of the original Dead End Kids, also known, in various incarnations, as the East Side Kids and the Bowery Boys.

But, the best reason to watch this film is for Auntie Lee's nubile nieces. Pia Reyes, Ava Fabian, Kristine Rose and Teri Weigel were all Playboy playmates prior to this movie. Weigel is also currently a porn star, so you can see why men eagerly followed her home.

If you're in the mood for something really gruesome, though, try finding "Sweeny Todd: The Demon of Barber Street" instead. Auntie Lee may make meat pies, but you will find something much better with her nieces' eye candy.