Guns

Boy...does this director Sidaris like to blow s**t up-but he just ain't good at it. The special effects look like they were staged in a six year olds sandbox. But you get some sweet eye candy in ex-Playboy Bunnies Dona Speir and Roberta Vasquez-unfortunately, both have no concept to emoting. And, without a doubt, you get (maybe) THE worst line ever uttered in a low-budget actioneer:

As bombs (or whatever) are blowing up around poor Dona she grabs some kind of plastic assault rifle and hollers at her male partner "Don't just do something...stand there!" and proceeds to shoot up the horizon. How can you not love it?

***** stars out of 10-mainly for the luscious Ms. Vasquez. BOING!

"Guns" is a strange movie: its sensibilities seem to be both sexist AND feminist. On the one hand, almost all the women have to undress at one point or another, usually gratuitously; on the other hand, the girls-with-guns sequences are played without condescension, the female agents are treated as equal partners by the men and, more often than not, THEY take charge. The action is not particularly well-done; in fact the whole film plays as if it was directed by a teenage boy trying to make a "real" movie. But how can you hate a film that contains female oil wrestling, an interrogation done with the help of a magic hat, a grenade on a remote-controlled model boat AND the incomparable Danny Trejo as the villain's No.1 henchman? (**1/2)

"Guns" was an easy way to kill an afternoon with some friends. The low budget action is passable but it's the women and the nudity that keep your attention. Not a lemon in the bunch. I don't plan on watching "Guns" again. I don't even think I'll remember much of it tomorrow. I do hope I remember what was maybe the greatest piece of dialogue ever: "Don't do something, stand there!" Honorable mention: a dreamy Roberta Vasquez.

If you're counting, this is Andy Sidaris film # 5 - but honestly, after the great "Hard Ticket To Hawaii", you can skip the rest and move on to this one. We all know these movies just entertain and you should check the brain at the door, but if you can do that, you will enjoy this film (and if you don't mind a little harmless t+a). The music reminds me of the A-Team and Hunter TV shows we grew up with - you know, the 80's synthesizer music...with all the explosions, it could very well have been a Steven J. Cannell production.

The inclusion of Roberta Vasquez is a good shot to the system and in starring villain roles you've got Erik Estrada and Danny Trejo. That must have been quite a coup for Sidaris and wife at the time.

When the character, Taryn was dropped, his movie afterward lost its comic timing.In every Andy Sidaris movies, it was Hope who provided the humor in the movie as well as good look. As much as I like Roberta Vasquez, she is no replacement for the much better tandem of Hope and Dona Speir in their movies. The director should have just kept Hope character along with the Dona Spear, while bringing along Roberta. Meanwhile Gun is good fun action that sometime dark with no humor to restraint it. It was Hope's Taryn that kept the action with little humor to keep it interesting. I hate to say this, the best Andy Sidaris movies with the female spies was with the pairing of Taryn and Donna Hamilton in the early parts of the series. The facial expression that Taryn gave in a tight situation was priceless, and it sadly why Gun doesn't hold up as well as Picasso Trigger or A Hard Ticket To Hawaii. Finally Gun is good on action, but it is boring without the humor and dark sarcasm that usually comes from Hope Marie Carlton's character, Taryn.