Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

A cult of chainsaw-worshipping prostitutes headed over by pleasantly plump guru "The Master"(Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen") are out to make human sacrifices to their god "Anubis" and cut into poor guys just looking for a good time. Jay Richardson (very funny here) is dry, thick-witted detective Jack Chandler, who's searching for a young runaway (Linnea Quigley) and stumbles onto the cult. The film is played out as both a spoof of film noir (with some Columbo/Perry Mason-style detective shows thrown in) AND horror films (naturally THE TEXA S CHAINSAW MASSACRE), and it actually succeeds! Of course, you also have to be willing to deal with some bad lighting and grainy photography associated with budget restraints, but that's forgivable, I think.

I agree with the mention of choreography--this has two hilarious (and damn sexy) dance sequences with Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley in the buff (the latter doing the "Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws"), that should please their fans. Richardson is a howl and Hansen gets a few funny moments in there as well, though he's not nearly as animated as the leading ladies or Richardson. Nearly every line of dialogue is extremely campy and whoever scripted this thing has a playful ear for puns and wordplay. There's also plenty of blood/gore (I think Steve Johnson did some of it), a few AIRPLANE-style gags and a great mock- Elvis song for Michelle to dance to. In short, a must see for fans of B-movies and probably Fred Olen Ray's finest hour.

Score: 7 out of 10.

I wholeheartedly agree with earlier reviewers that said this movie is one of the best of its genre--unfortunately that genre is worthless crap. This is an early example of horror/comedy "scream queen" movies, featuring two of the more ubiquitous screams queens Michelle Bauer and Linnaea Quigley, and directed by one of the pioneers of these kind of films (along with Dave DeCoutea and Jim Wynorski)--Fred Olen Ray. This movie, however, is surprisingly creative and long on plot, and it actually has more than one set and a budget that approaches whole numbers. It is also genuinely funny in places.

These kind of films were largely inspired by the 70's Roger Corman-produced films like "Hollywood Boulevard" or "Caged Heat" (Jim Wynorski actually got his start with Corman--thank's a lot, Roger), but there's a good reason many of the directors of those films went onto bigger and (usually) better things while the three amigos here have kept doing this same thing year after year. There's a big difference between seriously making schlocky films that nevertheless demonstrate real talent, and just mugging your way through self-consciously campy "cult films" in attempt to disguise a total lack of it. Olen Ray, at least, has a genuine love of film which shows in some of his best work (Wynorski, as he himself brags in every interview, is more interested in improving his own dating life than in making good movies, while the openly gay DeCouteau is just a hack by any standard).

As for the "scream queens", Quigley and Bauer, they certainly camp it up as usual, but make enough of effort that they seem more like genuine actresses than strippers here. This is the kind of the movie that really floats to the top of the HUGE pool of worthless crap movies that have been churned out since the early 80's, but it also, mind you, doesn't quite float ABOVE that pool. If you like these kinds of movies, of course, you won't want to miss it. And for everyone else?--well, you could do worse, I guess.

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is a definite cult movie. There's a chainsaw in the title, so I guess Fred Olen Ray, the director, decided to cast Gunnar Hansen. Hansen was better as Leatherface, in this he just stands there and seems very inanimate. I liked this movie for what it is, a definite attempt at cult status. I think Olen Ray's Soroeity Babes In The Slime Bowl-A-Rama is a better film however.

This is a movie which actually lives up to the promise of its title, which is saying quite a lot. Its a horror comedy about a private eye who is prone to saying things like 'being a dick is a 24-hour-a-day job'. He is investigating a series of murders, which are of course the work of the Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, of which scream queens Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer are prominent members. There's lots of blood and even more nudity on display here, with some dumb humour on hand to pad things out further. Quigley and Bauer are definitely fun to watch. The whole thing is an entertaining bit of trashy low budget 80's fun which delivers what it says on the tin.

One of the auteur Olen Ray's finest works is this little gem. It features two of the Eye Candy Hall of Fame All-Century team members, Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer. Every synopsis or review seems to contain the words camp, horror-comedy, and gore. While it is all that, we would like to comment on the nifty dance numbers. The auteur Olen Ray has added some eye-popping choreography which allows Ms. Quigley and Ms. Bauer to put their bodies in motion. The sultry Ms. Quigley performs the Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws. We fell like a virgin Brazilian rainforest watching her. The majestic beauty Ms. Bauer does a striptease to an Elvis tune that is pure graceland. Proving she ain't no hound dog, Ms. Bauer's character will take you to Heartbreak Hotel but that's alright. As a word of warning, you might feel like a giant Redwood as you view this film, but both these ladies wield a wicked chainsaw and can cut you down to size.