Transformations

If you're a fan of movies about space STDs then this is a good one to check out. People have sex, then die. A good helping of goopy rubber effects, pretty standard for the era. Not one of Empire Picture's best movies, but worth checking out if you watch it to kill a Sunday afternoon like I did. I kinda just wanted to make my "Species II" comment in the header, that movie certainly tops "Transformations" in terms of being a bizarre alien-sex fueled gorefest.

Transformations (1989) was one of those sleazy poverty row sci-fi flicks that came out during the mid to late 80's. A stupid bohunk "looking for love in all the wrong places" picks up some space trash and gets more than he ever bargined for. Yes, even in space you can pick up some of the strangest "social diseases". Cheap special effects and bad acting make this one a total loser. It would be a complete waste of time trying to describe to you how terrible this movie is!

I saw this movie late one night and I wish I've never had. Movies like this almost killed my taste for watching cheesy movies. Let us pray that this movie never sees the light of day. One can hope.

Not recommended.

F-

There is nothing redeeming about this film. First you have to get past the fact that the main character looks exactly like Barry Manilow. Then try to ignore the bad acting-and even that is boring. I can usually get a laugh out of it, or at least the cheesy effects, but here it just seems like a bunch of robots bump into each other on screen for about 90 minutes. Forget the plot-this movie is about Interstellar STD's. One last question: Whose 12 year old kid designed the sets?

I'm amazed that this film doesn't have more recognition. To me it was a perfect campy bad 80s scifi horror movie. I really love this kind of thing. Simple and right to the point. Classic almost even. It really knows exactly what it is and the ending was deliciously campy. Surprised I hadn't heard of this sooner. It almost reminds me of 50s scifi. I liked the style a lot and the story was unique. Really glad I was able to catch this for free OnDemand.

Apart from the acting its not bad, as far as B grade horrors are concerned. Man contracts space herpes which turns people into mutant freaks. Then he ends up on a unisex prison planet which doubles as a slave mining planet.

The characters don't know much of what is going on as the prison operates with next to no trained medical staff and just a bunch of bad acting nazi like prison guards. Patrick Macnee plays a psychic preacher who interprets the whole event being a product of evil. Is he right?

All hell breaks loose when a visiting supply vessel needs to dock for fuel as the prison colony attempts to enforce a quarantine and a small group of prisoners attempt an escape. We are meant to care for the protagonist (infectee) and his new girlfriend but I can assure you you won't care what happens to them.

What's annoying is watching the characters invert their points of view like the wind, just like a bad daytime tv show. The set design is pretty cool though in a Blake 7 sort of way. It's just all over the place and as we approach the end of the movie it starts to feel a more and more like a circus but with classical music.

One of the better B's but its hard to call it under-rated.