13 Morts 1/2

This film is a terrible classic. The acting is painful and the plot is thinner than cheap takeout soy sauce packets. But it is marvelously entertaining and succeeds as a wonderful parody of Halloween, Friday the 13th and many other horror slasher flicks in the early 1980s.

High School students are being killed off because they're having sex, everybody's a suspect as the breather, a witty and lovable killer who the camera only sees through gloves and shoes.

Have fun trying to recognise any actor as their careers went completely downhill after this disaster.

A fun date movie, seriously. If you enjoyed "Scary Movie," you should definitely see this film.

Those who are not sold on this movie have not seen it with friends. The biggest laugh-getting slumber party movie of all time. Take off your thinking cap, don't take yourself seriously and do not watch alone! It pokes fun at how stupid the acting and plot points are of slashers. The original teen horror comedy has become one of the most seminal movies ever - dozens of Student Bodies imitations try to duplicate the sick and disturbed humor, but those are contrived wanting to copy. This is the most genuinely disturbed comedy of them all. It should be... look at the teenage snuff films they ridicule. It deserves the Nobel Prize. Ahead of its time. But watch with friends. "Individually, the audience is an idiot. collectively, it is a genius." - Samuel Goldwyn.... SO WATCH WITH FRIENDS! No one is qualified to judge until they do.

A 1980'S version of "Scream." I found myself laughing more than anything. "The Breather," made me laugh. I couldn't help it. I thought I was supposed to laugh. The guy is making snide remarks and breathing like a horny 12 year old for the entire movie. The cast is unknowns, which makes the movie a sort of cult classic for me. I enjoy the film because it's just plain old silly. It's not gory and it's not in the least bit scary. It makes fun, more than anything, how murder victims in horror movies end up. You'd never see a killer walking around with a bunch of Hefty trash bags as their weapon, but in this film it's used purely for the laughs and after a while it does get old, but "the Breather" will make you laugh enough to watch the whole thing. Good for a Halloween laugh.

Part of me thinks that, if the ever-reputable Criterion Collection can put out a 2-disc special edition of crap like "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas," they certainly could throw a bone to a sharp-witted parody like "Student Bodies," which nails the genre better than the 3 "Scream"s (which eventually went down the route of self-parody anyway) and the 4 (and counting) "Scary Movie"s. So why, then, has this cover-all-bases send-up been relegated to a word-of-mouth cult item since its 1981 release? Distributor Paramount, which hit paydirt with "Friday the 13th" the year before (and its sequels in the years following), likely saw "Bodies" as an opportunity to take a satirical jab at a genre that really only "began" with the breakout success of John Carpenter's "Halloween" (1978). The result? A film so ahead of its time that the audience didn't know what to make of it--relatively goreless and sex-free (our killer offs his teen victims BEFORE they get a chance to score), "Student Bodies" approaches an "Airplane!"-style level of pull-all-stops humor (albeit on a shoestring budget) that remains surprisingly tasteful, even in the midst of cracks about necrophilia and a farting corpse. The opening 15 minutes alone stuffs in references to "Halloween," "When a Stranger Calls," "The Prowler," and even Dario Argento's gialli (our killer's gloved hands figure heavily into the plot); the filmmakers superimpose a helpful "body count" tally plus other deliciously obvious mistakes the characters make (a door kept unlocked, for instance). I only have one major complaint about the film: even at a scant 86 minutes, it goes on for too long, halting to a crawl during a prom sequence that unwisely tries to build some suspense to accompany the humor (though I will give the climax credit for successfully managing to lampoon "Carrie," "Psycho," and even "The Tenant"). That being said, "Student Bodies" is a fine, funny horror lampoon, even more resonant in the fact that, despite its early placement in the slasher pantheon, it still manages to nail all the clichés that have afflicted the genre ever since.

I didn't find it to be hilarious, but it is an amusing horror spoof; generally I've found horror comedies to be funnier than horror spoofs.

The movie starts by noting how many horror movies have been made recently, and that they've all made money. We see a shot of a house at night with ominous music, and a caption reading "Halloween." This fades out, and then fades back up with the caption "Friday the 13th," which fades out and is replaced by the caption "Jamie Lee Curtis' Birthday" (the movie doesn't say, but that is November 22). This is an early indicator of the cheap and silly humor of the movie.

A heavy breathing killer wearing black boots and green rubber gloves makes phone calls to the babysitter in the house. After she looks outside for a cat that turns out to be a meowing dog with gas, she leaves the door unlocked (a caption and arrow call additional attention to this fact). Her boyfriend shows up, he's turned on by something that should be a turnoff, but he leaves the room (this series of actions repeats throughout the movie). The killer enters the house, and picks from a collection of weapons under a rolltop desk: a gun, knife, noose, hatchet, pack of cigarettes, paperclip. He picks the silliest one, of course. The girl dies by the silly weapon, and the guy gets killed by suffocating in a large black trash bag (this MO repeats too; the weapon is always different, but always silly).

A number of people at the school wear the same things the killer does, making them suspects to the audience, who knows, but not to the police. In fact, I'm not sure there are police - the school itself seems to be in charge of investigating the murders. The one person in the movie that becomes a suspect to other characters is a virgin girl.

Lots and lots of silliness in the movie, too much to cover. Anyone that likes silly spoof movies is likely to find something to make them laugh here.

Whatever happened to the actor "The Stick"?