Le convoi des casseurs

Cursed be you, Burt Reynolds.

Because of "Smokey and the Bandit", the movie-going public has been forced to slog through millions of pale imitations of the same product, all to make a buck.

Which brings us to "Smokey Bites the Dust"; which, I think, DID earn at least a buck.

Meaning it broke even with its budget.

From the beginning scene where we see the Smokey of the title drinking from a baby bottle with booze in it while waiting for speeders in Backwater, USA, I knew I was in for a slow downhill ride to nowhere. I was right.

If one county, let alone backwoods town actually had this many car crashes in the course of one day, they could very well become the scrap metal center of the known world. As it turns out, this entire movie IS the scrap (minus the "s") center of the known world all by itself.

Gale Ann Hurd produced this when she was young and foolish. We all gotta start somewhere, I suppose.

One star. Plus half a star for the dumb jock football player.

I first saw this in '85. Instead of having Burt Reynold's in the driver's seat, we have Jimmy McNicol, driving the local town cop (Barnes) insane, giving him daily chases and taunting him on his installed c.b. This time he's gone too far, where he runs off with Daddy's (Barnes's) little girl, and he's none too happy about. And it's prom night too. All this is a car chase movie, where forget plot or logic. We even see two ten plus kids smoke, the boy looking very much like that silent chubby kid, Peter in The Cosby Show. But unlike Cosby this isn't funny, just a sheer excuse to spend 86 minutes. We have impressive pile ups, crazy chases, a snake slithering across the road, near it's start, if to maintain further interest. Some known actors star in this, an early price to pay, for future stardom. We too have an imprisoned guy making moonshine, and a younger William Forsythe, a jock, who's girl is riding with Smokey (McNichol) though of course this is not the real character's name. What left me in puzzlement was it's enigmatic R rating. May'be it was the reference to watching two kids smoke. I don't know what else it could be, as this film doesn't deserve to go beyond a PG. May'be the censors were on a mental vacation, like the makers of this movie, and when the writer's surname is named after a piece of fruit, you know you got problems.

Smokey Bits The Dust got inflicted on the movie going public in 1981. And after two viewings of it I can't even tell you what the plot is of this mess.

Jimmy McNichol plays the local bad boy in this neck of the Ozark woods who just likes to race cars and wreck as many as he can because it's good clean fun. He's got the hots for the sheriff's daughter, Janet Julian, and on Homecoming Day he kidnaps her.

After this the whole film is one mindless 80 minute or so car chase in which law from other jurisdictions including some Arabs get involved. To be honest I actually tried figuring out what the plot was and couldn't.

Roger Corman produced this mess and shame on him.

People who rated this down do not know the appeal of loony b-movies. "Smokey Bites The Dust" is for those who appreciate watching a wild escapade while drinking brews and relaxing after an intense week. Plenty of car chases, but what I dig the most are all the rules this movie breaks. You even have a young boy and girl smoking cigarettes by conning people, even police. I don't care what any do-gooder millennial says, it's pretty damn funny! Also, the perfectly laid-back 70's aura drew me in, especially since I'm a 70's junkie (I grew up in that decade). Oh, and because of the fact Jimmy McNichol (Kristy's brother) has the starring role as a car thief and "abductor". Let's just say it's almost as rad as "The Van" and more rad than "Used Cars", both of which are similar in theme. Again, this cult classic is for people who enjoy late-night carefree fun, not for people addicted to Judge Judy reruns.

My childhood days of THE DUKES OF HAZZARD are long gone, which means it's time to dig up what was once grand: car chase movies. This one is special because it's another rip-off of SMOKEY & THE BANDIT, and also another with the name "Smokey" in the title (how many were there???). Every so often, a movie would thrill us living around 1980 over its display of automotive carnage, but haven't we seen enough? It's no better than GRAND THEFT AUTO, another Roger Corman production about high-speed pursuits. Not sounding politically correct in these modern times, kids would've probably liked this cartoonish flick that's been easy to please, as it shows off some over-the-top goofiness and kooky characters, including a "sheik" (!!!). The car crashes are fun to watch for 8-year olds, though. And, yes, no movie is complete without Dick Miller as comedy relief. Likewise, if you've seen one movie, you've seen it all. Diehard fans won't go wrong, but the movie offers absolutely nothing that's new and improved.