Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

Ladies & Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains may not be the best film to come out of it's time.. but it certainly is not the worst. Many fans of this film probably know it best from when it aired on VH1 a few years back. Most "film buffs" probably have not even heard of it! It is a "fun" film, nothing too deep.. If you've ever considered yourself to be "punk rock" then you would probably enjoy this film. A few former Sex Pistols have roles in Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains. If you get a chance to see this movie I recommend it, but don't expect a masterpiece. It's just a film every post-punk should see. And always remember, The Stains do NOT put out!

Excellent little rock-and-roll satire. A teenage Diane Lane stars as a young woman who hates her dead-end life. Along with her sister and cousin (Laura Dern), she cons her way onto a tour bus as the nonexistent band The Stains. The gals can't play a lick, but get themselves on the local news, and they ignite like a meteorite - and come crashing to Earth just as fast. It's a biting little picture, and Lane shines brightly in the lead. Ray Winstone co-stars as the lead singer of a British punk band with whom the Stains tour. The movie was barely released when it was made, but it became a cult favorite later on through frequent airings on the USA cable network.

This movie is awesome. I first saw this film in 1983 when i was 15 on a TV show called "Night Flight" (anybody remember it?), fell head over heels in love w/ teenage Diane Lane & have never forgotten the impact this film made on me & watching it recently brought back many memories. I have been looking for this film for 20yrs & i finally found a copy! It basically tells a very cynical & realistic tale totally bashing the music industry. Young female nobody has ambition to be somebody, forms a band called The Stains with her cousins (one, a very young Laura Dern), goes on the unglamorous rough & lonely road with 2 other very chauvinistic rival male bands--a has-been-on-its-last-legs headliner & an up & coming punk band. Fee Waybill of the Tubes is great as the has-been & Paul Cook of The Sex Pistols has another great role as the lead singer of the punk band. BTW, the songs in this movie are very good & very catchy---you will find yourself singing "We're the Professionals!" for days! As the girls rise to the top they're punk hair, clothes & attitude become a symbol of young female power & all the rage with young girls everywhere. they're slogan "We Don't Put Out" becomes the anthem of girl power that sweeps the nation. They're rise to the top is squashed by the backstabbing music industry & the conservative male dominated American media. The fluffy MTV styled video at the end is the icing on the cake! This movie is awesome because it takes on so many issues without ever losing the central story of this film or becoming cheesy or preachy. They really don't make movies like this anymore & I can say that this film is an unequivocal classic with Diane Lane putting on the performance of her life. wow! what an actress. Even the so-called "indie" films of today try too hard to be "shocking" & just end up being predictable & exploitative, never coming close to the realistic telling-it-like-it-is nature of this film. The thing I don't understand is why this film is never shown & why its never mentioned. I hear there is a "Making of Ladies & Gents The Fabulous Stains" with all the actors talking about this film that i would LOVE to get. This movie was also a huge inspiration to Courtney Love I've also heard. Check this film out if you can find it!!!!

Unreleased theatrical feature financed by Paramount was once an '80s staple on the USA network (in their weekend "Night Flight" movie slot). It's a satirical comedy-drama with music which finds angry, rebellious teen Diane Lane caught by reality-TV cameras getting fired from a fast food restaurant; soon, she, her sister, and a cousin hit the road with their barely-rehearsed punk band and find failure, success, unintended exploitation, and life's little ironies outside of their blue-collar town. Reminiscent of the later "This is Spinal Tap", the film has a sense of humor far more sly, less forced and obvious. Lane is so tough at first, one doesn't know how to respond to her (she pushes everyone away); somewhere down the line she begins to soften and becomes more flexible, and you see the desperation underneath her scowl--you see her pathos just once, when she gives the bus-driver money for his brother (a subtle scene that speaks volumes). Harsh in both its writing and directing, unblinking in its teenage hostility, the film still manages to be funny (intentionally so) and with a cutting edge; it's like a breath of fresh air to the disenfranchised. *** from ****

For this film not to be available to the public (with the exception of the odd midnight movie crowd) is scandalous!! It's a touchstone for the next twenty years of pop culture! The film predicts the Madonna Wanna-Be craze by *years*; there's nods to such programming as MTV and such shows as VH1's Behind the Music & Driven; it was co-written by the cool, great Jonathan Demme; it features early screen appearances by later screen/TV stars Laura Dern, Christine Lahti, Star Trek's Brent Spiner (has the line, "You're fired!" ever been uttered more emphatically on film??), Rugrats voice Elizabeth Daily, B-Movie Goddess Debbie Rochon, and it stars newly-minted Unfaithful Oscar nominee Diane Lane, in a performance arguably as solid as the one she's just been nominated for. SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?? Release the film on video/DVD already!!!