Le retour de Patrick

Ah, the wonders of exploitation cinema… For reasons incomprehensible to the normal-functioning human mind, director Mario Landi decided to make an extremely gory and sleazy Italian sequel to a tame and almost bloodless Australian thriller. "Patrick Still Lives" hence became one of the poorest and most pointless movies ever, with an ultra-thin and laughable storyline, absolutely no tension and secondhand sets & scenery. The good news, however, is that it also ranks as one of the sickest and most misogynistic productions ever, which then again makes the ultimate "wanna-have" for avid cult collectors. That's horror fan logic for ya! Professor and private-clinic owner Herschell is looking for the person responsible for his son's eternal coma and therefore he lures a bunch of weird people to his estate. Patrick lives like a vegetable but he can still count on his telekinetic powers to violently kill everyone within a close range and thus all the guests die in horrid ways, whether they're guilty of anything or not. These murders are clearly intended to come across as nasty and extremely mean-spirited but the make up effects are cheap, so the movie never at one point feels disturbing. The goofiest thing definitely is the complete lack of structure! The male character of which I thought he'd be the surviving hero is one the first to die and there isn't even a real ending to the story. In case the clinic location looks familiar to you, it means you watch way too many crappy movies like this! The same mansion was used in Andrea Bianchi's "Burial Ground". Both movies were scripted (if you can call it that) by Piero Regnoli and they also share a lead actress! Mariangela Giordano, who has a poker stuffed up her vagina, is the same woman whose boob got bitten off in "Burial Ground". Somehow, her entire career seems to revolve on her intimate parts! "Patrick Still Lives" is warmly recommended to all you sick puppies out there.

Patrick the comatose invalid with mind powers is back in this in-name-only sequel to the Austailian telekinesis snooze-fest "Patrick". This one starts of as boringly as the original, but thankfully the sleaze of this film's final hour has replaced the yawns of the first one. Not for the squeamish, but gore wise it's definitely no worse than the atrocious "Gunia Pig" movies, although one scene in particular is hard to stomach even for more seasoned gore-hounds. I'll put it this way, if you find yourself slumming for low-grade horror, you could do worse. But you could do a lot better as well.

My Grade: C+

DVD Extras: Interview with Gabriele Crisanti; interview with Gianni Dei; Slide Gallery; Theatrical Trailer; Trailers for "Else Freuline SS", "Eaten Alive", and "Lizard in a Womans' Skin"

Eye Candy: Mariangela Giordano, Carmen Russo and Anna Veneziano each bare all

Italian 'sequel' to the 1978 sleeper hit Patrick isn't so much a sequel as it is a very lurid remake.

Road-side prank leaves young man in a coma. Now, his doctor father has lured a band of suspects to his isolated house so that the comatose victim's telekinetic powers can reek some bloody revenge upon them.

To say that this film is trashy is simply an understatement. Patrick vive ancora drives both sleaze and gore to extremes that are rarely seen in the genre. In fact the story and the cast take a back-seat to some of this ballsy action! Our cast is obviously not afraid to show some skin. The telepathic murders are gruesome indeed - who could ever forget that scene with the fire poker, talk about your phallic imagery!! Need I say more?

For those seeking an intelligent and brooding lost thriller, watch the original Patrick (1978), but those that enjoy sleazy B horror must see this film to believe it! Adults only, and I mean those that are exploitation fans!

** out of ****

Mario Landi's PATRICK STILL LIVES is a weird little film that is weak on pretty much every level - but still manages to be entertaining and pretty fun to watch...

Patrick is the victim of an unfortunate (and kinda hilarious...)accident: while standing by the side of the road, he's randomly hit in the face with a bottle that a passing motorist chucks out of his window, leaving poor Patrick in a coma, but with telekinetic powers (!!??!!) Patrick's scientist father owns a villa with a lab in the basement where he conducts experiments to strengthen Patrick's mind powers so that he can one day seek revenge for his condition. Dad lures several people to his villa with the intention of letting vegetable-boy wreak some havoc. This eventually does happen and the results are pretty rewarding...

PATRICK STILL LIVES is a pretty good example of classic 70's/80's exploitation sleaze. Plenty of tits and ass (including a pretty hot masturbation scene from a sexy - if a little too "bushy" for my taste - blonde), and some decent gore, including: a man hung by his throat from a hook, a woman eaten by dogs, another woman decapitated but a car window, and the "famous" graphic vaginal-impalement-via-fire-poker. This one in particular is a keeper, as I was surprised that they showed this scene as "up-close and personal" as they did. PATRICK has some of the most ridiculous dialog ("It's obvious that Mr. Cough's cause of death was from a fatality..." (?????)), a retarded and threadbare plot, pretty stupid FX (the "floating-hypnotic-eyeballs" come to mind...), and atrocious acting. Regardless, or possibly because of these things, I still got a kick out of this one. I have a soft spot for these types of 70's/80's shock/schlock films - and this one is another perfect example. If you're looking for high-art, you can leave this one on the shelf. If you like tit's, ass, furry bush, and gore - I'd recommend this one pretty highly. 8/10

Bearing little of no relation to to the late 70's flick 'Patrick', this exercise in exploitation tries to deliver the goods, only to be impeded by it's own intentions.

Patrick is a kid (by kid I mean a guy who looks to be in his 30's) stuck in a kind of waking comma, unable to move or speak, yet fully sentient of the world around (and not around) him. His mostly insane father seeks to avenge/rectify the condition his son is in and sets up a secret laboratory for research and invites a group of people to his estate to test the powers his damaged son now possesses.

Pretty much from the start it's clear this isn't going to be a good movie per say, but should work fairly well as exploitation. It gives it the old college try, but consistently comes up short.

Problems begin with the script, which keeps afloat about as well as a brick. Plotting is wrong headed and scenarios never approach believable, even by genre standards. The characters are stupid, and I don't mean the average garden variety horror movie retards; I'm talking about some of the most brain dead specimens in all of film. So inept are the characters that even with full motor control and verbal abilities, they still seem more dysfunctional than poor crippled Patrick.

Writing has never been the strong suit in these kinds of films, so that could be forgiven if the fan service is up and running. It is, kind of, but not enough to save this effort. Clever and creative deaths are marred by all around cheesy FX and gore. The film's key-note shock scene, a bit where a woman gets impaled through her genitals, sounds more shocking than it really is, as the cut-away dummy used looks so fake as to induce chuckles rather than shrieks. The rest of the deaths suffer a similar fate; creatively staged and imagined, poorly designed and executed (pun not intended).

The rest of the technical aspects are par for the course; schlocky acting, cheesy dialogue, and acceptable if all together limp direction. The only saving grace is the notable presence of gobs of full-frontal (mostly all female) nudity.

Serious fan of exploitation will garner the most mileage out of this puppy to be certain, everyone else should just pass right by.

4/10