Hobgoblins

This is a very, very bad film but I can't bring myself to give it a 1 simply because the film never takes itself seriously. It realizes it's garbage and makes no apologies--a bad movie that never tries to be anything more! The film is about an old movie studio that's no longer functioning. When young guys are given jobs here as security guards, they have a habit of dying--and the old guy working with them doesn't do a whole lot to stop this until our hero (i.e., a big wuss) saves the old guy and the oldster tells him about the hobgoblins that live there. These creatures grant people whatever wish they want but end up killing them in the process. A not particularly good deal if you ask me. When these things get loose and attack the neighborhood, it's time to destroy these malevolent pests.

The film is an obvious knock-off of GREMLINS, though with practically no budget and actors who are ALL worse than Zack Galligan!!! But the most hilariously bad part of the film are the hobgoblins which are nothing more than cheap puppets--not much more realistic than ones kids might get from Toys R Us! They obviously are not animated in any way and flail about like stuffed animals--really, really crappy ones.

Overall, there's really not reason to watch this dumb film unless you are a masochist who likes bad films! Don't say I didn't warn you!

So there's an old security guard and a guy who dies and then there's KEVIN, the world's biggest wuss. Kevin wants to impress his incredibly insensitive, bratty, and virginal girlfriend AMY. As he returns from work to... a random house... he finds his "friends," the sexually confusing red-shorted KYLE and the truly revolting sluttish DAPHNE. They are soon joined by Daphne's boyfriend, the trigger-happy sex-crazed macho lunkhead NICK. And there's the title creatures, horrid little dogeared puppets who kill people by giving them their heart's desire. Kyle's heart's desire is to mate with a creepy, yucky woman in spandex. Nick's heart's desire is to throw grenades in a grade school cafeteria-- I mean nightclub. Kevin's heart's desire is to beat up a skinny thug with nunchucks. Amy's heart's desire is to be a disgusting slut. Daphne's already a disgusting slut, so she doesn't have a heart's desire. Along the way a truly hideous band sings a truly odd song. The hobgoblins randomly go back to where they came from then blow up. "Citizen Kane" cannot hold a candle to this true masterpiece of American cinema.

After Gremlins hit box office gold it must have seemed like a really good idea to rip it off. Unfortunately Hobgoblins lacks some of the key ingredients of Gremlins, notably the likable characters, plot, credibility and effects, and Gremlins was quite funny in places whereas Hobgoblins just isn't.

In fiction good writers try hard to make you like the main character, that's how fiction has worked ever since some Greek guy put a mask on and pretended to be someone else. So what character have you got to bond with in Hobgoblins? How about a whiny henpecked little weasel in a dead end job with a totally frigid girlfriend and a bunch of friends that are more irritating than having Vanessa Feltz sewn into your face? His friends include a rake-fighting military tough guy, some weedy gay guy in red shorts and a girl so sexual that the mere sound of her boyfriends car horn causes her to lift her skirt up in anticipation.

The film has one good idea, basically these hobgoblins can bring your every fantasy to life. Sadly this good idea is squandered by the actors sheer inability to act as well as plenty of scenes where they hug plush toys to themselves and try to act scared. There's not much logic to it either, the hobgoblins are supposedly locked safely away in a vault with a cage around it. But when we see it neither are even shut. How much effort would it have taken to shout at a stage hand to close them? Too much for this movie unfortunately.

I couldn't escape the feeling that the people responsible for this film put in the very least effort they thought they could get away with. The poster (shown to your left) depicting a 50's pinup being bummed by a gremlin is pretty tacky too.

Hobgoblins currently sits as the 30th worst movie ever made on IMDb and lets be clear it's terrible.........pee poor stuff that makes the average cheesy 80's movie look artistic.

In a cross between Critters, Gremlins & an ounce of Wishmaster this creature feature doesn't deserve its place on that list and I'm baffled why it's there. Movies on that list are usually there because of an actor/actress (Paris Hilton) because it's got a gimmick or an angle that upsets people or non-existent production values.

Hobgoblins isn't worth your time but one of the worst films ever made? Hardly.

This movie is not just bad, not just corny, it is repulsive. Something about Daphne, about the creepy call-girl, about the whole damn (and I use the word literally) film radiates a grotesquery that would offend a brothel mistress. This film makes my skin crawl, makes me regret having reproductive organs, and makes me feel unclean.

One of the things that bothers me most about this movie is that they used such a good concept. A creature that makes fantasies with disastrous results, rather than the cliché Worst Nightmare and the overdone Twisted Wish, is a truly fascinating film idea.

Thought: The reason why hobgoblins need to be killed before day is that they are attracted to bright lights. During the day, bright lights don't show up well, so they could go anywhere.

Count the Hobgoblins: Four hobgoblins drive out of the film studio, and yet at least nine of the pernicious plush-toys are killed throughout the course of the movie.

Discussion Question: If you had a frigid, demanding, unappreciative girlfriend, would you enter garden-tool-combat with a military chunkhead? Explain.