Troll II

Written and directed by Claudio Fragrasso, a name that any self-respecting fan of bad films should be aware of, Troll 2 is a logic-free mess that features absolutely no trolls (vegetarian goblins, yes; trolls, no!), costumes by Laura Gemser (a woman who knows a lot about taking clothes off, but seemingly very little about designing them), bad 80s hair and fashion, a goblin queen by the name of Creedence Leonore Gielgud (who scrubs up rather nice and seduces a bloke with a cob of corn), lousy special effects and make-up, one of the most irritating child 'actors' of all time, and a crazy finalé that sees good triumph over evil with the help of a double-decker bologna sandwich and a rock from Stonehenge (quite what that is doing in Utah, I'll never know!).

Whilst there is no doubt that Troll 2 is a technically very poor film, I'm not entirely convinced that it deserves it's current position of number 59 on the IMDb bottom 100. I've seen tons of films that I have enjoyed far less than Troll 2—films with seemingly no redeeming qualities whatsoever, the celluloid equivalent of Ketamine; at least this one provides plenty of unintentional laughs and is so utterly bizarre in places that it kept me watching to the bitter end. Surely that's gotta be worth a rating of at least a 3/10?

P.S. If you should find yourself struggling to finish the film, there are always the Troll 2 drinking games to make things a little less painful; I suggest taking a shot every time piggy-nosed brat Joshua mentions his Grandpa Seth—you'll be plastered in no time!