C'est la faute à Rio

You read a plot synopsis for Blame It on Rio and immediately you think that this just has to be a terrible movie. And besides being terrible it's also going to be downright uncomfortable to watch as the story centers around some wildly inappropriate behavior. They'd never make a movie like this today you think and thank goodness for that. Yes, those would probably be your thoughts before you watch this movie. But then you watch it and it's actually not that bad. Yes there is that uneasy feeling throughout due to the fact that the subject matter is more than a little icky. But the movie is entertaining. It's light-hearted fun. In fact you could even call it charming if not for the fact that there's nothing particularly charming about a middle-aged man having sex with his best friend's teenage daughter.

So our story is about this exceedingly inappropriate relationship. And the movie plays it for laughs. And it works? Ah, the 1980s. A very different world from today that's for sure. Blame It on Rio is never uproariously funny but there are enough good comic moments sprinkled throughout to keep things moving along nicely. In playing Matthew, the man who can't resist the charms of the teenage temptress, it is Michael Caine who really holds the movie together. An awkward character to play no doubt and Caine makes it work. From the moment we meet him, even before his wild fling, Matthew never seems entirely comfortable in his own skin. Preying on that awkwardness is his own personal Lolita. She goes by the name of Jennifer and is played by Michelle Johnson for whom comfort in her own skin was apparently not an issue. Yowzers! Easy to see how it would be difficult for any man to resist her feminine charms. But Matthew, you're forty-something, she's a teenager, and she's your best friend's daughter! This can't happen! But it does and...hilarity ensues? Yeah you wouldn't think this is a particularly comedic situation but that's the direction in which this movie goes and somehow it kind of works.

It's hard to fully embrace the movie as none of the main characters come off particularly well. The Matthew-Jennifer relationship is not the only inappropriate thing going on here, not by a long shot. You'd think Jennifer's father, what with his best friend sleeping with his nubile daughter, would be the sympathetic character. But, as portrayed by Joseph Bologna, he's a sleaze too. Who in this movie isn't? Well, there's Matthew's daughter Nicole. Demi Moore plays the role and it's a smaller part compared to Caine, Johnson and Bologna. But if you sympathize with anyone it's her. She has an innocence about her. All the adults in this movie have lost their innocence long ago. And her friend Jennifer can't wait to lose hers...with Nicole's father no less. Poor Nicole. She even has to suffer in comparison standing next to the voluptuous Jennifer on one of Rio's famous topless beaches. At this point in her life Demi Moore had not yet embraced the wonders of surgical enhancement and that leaves Nicole bashful, trying to cover up her modest assets with her long hair. Jennifer? She's not bashful. But somehow she's still sweet and charming. And there's still a vulnerability and touch of innocence to her even as she's taking off her clothes and seducing a middle-aged man. It's hard to figure. The story shouldn't work, the movie shouldn't work, we really shouldn't be finding any of this funny. But somehow the end result isn't that bad at all. Go into this movie with low expectations and you may well be pleasantly surprised.

It's a travelogue/sex-comedy with great photography of Rio, funny jokes and a pleasing early eighties feel. All the typical aspects of life in Brazil are shown like Carnival, native gods/religion, topless sunbathers, street dancers, the monolith dome with Jesus on top etc. There are a lot of funny lines that will keep you entertained and Michael Caine delivers them well. The soundtrack has a lot of bossa nova strains (composed by Ken Wannberg) and adds to the sexy, lighthearted mood.

There was one major reason to watch this movie: Michelle Johnson, and that's about it. The film doesn't offer too much else. Basically, it's a silly story.

Michael Caine ("Matthew") and Joseph Bologna ("Victor") plays some middle- aged guys who are going through marriage problems (bad marriage and a divorce, respectively) so they go down to Brazil to spend money since they're rich. They bring their late teen/young-adult daughters? Huh? Well, Victor's daughter is a knockout and they have a fling. Johnson plays the girl, "Jennifer," who shows off her breasts as much as she can in this film. This is why I and a lot of other guys saw this movie. In reality, there isn't much merit to this story, regardless.

This must have been a wonderful role for Caine to play! Caine, an outstanding and likable actor, keeps this film - along with Johnson's obvious assets - from being a total bomb. As "Matthew," his mind knows this a bad relationship and vows to end it, but you know what else "doing the talking" for him, so it ain't easy. Demi Moore, by the way, plays Caine's daughter in this movie.

It's really not a horrible film but it's pretty inane and crude in areas. The real shocker might not be all the nudity or sex jokes and lying but who directed the film: good 'ole Stanley Donen, who also gave us "Singin' In The Rain" and "Charade." How in the world did he get involved with this movie? Maybe Johnson was too much of an allure for him, too!

Now let me start by saying I love a good movie! I love a great script, engaging characters and brilliant cinematography.

***This movie has none of these things!

But it does have the type of storyline and pointless nudity that Hollywood seems unwilling to include in a mainstream film. This is one of those movies that was on HBO late at night when I was a kid and I loved it.

There's something to great nudity! We just don't celebrate it enough anymore! Plus Demi Moore pre-implants!

This film couldn't have been made at any other period of time than that tumultuous, garishly colored, love affair with dubious, cheesy excess known as the 1980's. At any other period of time, this movie would simply be overlooked as a horrid piece of meaningless crap. But not in the 80's, oh no. As a fine work of pure cheese, in the decade of cheese, this film is a sort of masterwork. Everything about this film is total cheese: the acting, the writing, the directing, and cheesiest of all, the music. Has a movie ever had a more grating theme than this movie? It even trumps "I Had The Time Of My Life" and "She's Like The Wind" from Dirty Dancing, which is no small accomplishment. And not only that, but the song is repeated several times throughout the movie. And oh, what else is there? Michael Caine's horrible hair, enormous glasses, and that whacky blue underwear he wears. And Joseph Bologna's insane overacting! Demi Moore's insane attempts at acting! And Michelle Johnson's ample nudity, ample bosom, and insane attempts at being seductive! One could charitably call this film an awkward misfire, but if you're up for it, it's a fine helping of cheese, and a good reminder that as bad as movies can be now, the 80's were the true decade of crap! Crap would never again be as hilariously crappy as it was in the 1980's, and Blame It On Rio is the king of 80's crap!