The Ups and Downs of a Handyman

This film has recently been given what I would describe as a sneak showing on a local TV channel. It was shown at a normal evening viewing time and was just listed as a British comedy, with no mention of sex-comedy or adult film to be found in my program guide. I believe the best British comedies, such as "Passport to Pimlico", are unmatched and I decided to watch it. I was quite startled to find that it was an unabashed and totally uninhibited sex comedy, with at least as much nudity as in any other film I remember seeing. I was recently amused to read a newspaper report about an author who has published a book listing nude appearances in films, and detailing their duration and the anatomical features displayed. I found it very hard to credit that someone should spend their time creating such a reference work, or that having done so they could find anyone willing to spend money buying it. However the article was quite serious and the author, when interviewed, reported that he could process most films very quickly - the only one which had taken him a considerable time to review fully had been "Showgirls". It appears that he has never seen this film which features far more nudity than "Showgirls"!

This film is a farce, comparable in many ways with the British "Carry On" series of films. It is probably best regarded as a more modern replacement for the Victorian erotic postcards that used to be so popular a century ago. The main story is of a young couple who have to move to a small country town where work is not plentiful. The husband attempts to make a living as the local handyman, but his shop window advertisement somehow conveys a message to the lonely women who see it, that he is offering other types of services. His role is supplemented by a series of kinky characters including an elderly man who enjoys spanking girls (a very Victorian theme), an amateur glamour photographer looking for models, and an incredibly inept policeman, all are portrayed outrageously to create a comedy with very broad humour. There is no real acting as all the characters are caricatures, but the film is reasonably well made and - if you are prepared to watch this type of humour - is enjoyable to view at least once. My personal view is that such films are far less socially harmful than most of the unnecessarily violent action/adventure films which today hardly ever raise the public's eyebrows. However anyone buying it, or seeing it in a cinema or on TV should be aware of what to expect. Viewers with other expectations are likely to class it as an example of the ultimate turkey.

Normally this would be a film which would leave a viewer with nothing to think about, but in my case I found myself facing the weighty question of whether this film is likely to be released again soon as one half of a two feature DVD for home viewing; and if so what could be chosen as a suitable companion film to pair with it? Perhaps "Can you keep it up for a week?" might have made a possible pairing; but although this is in my view a much less successful film, it has somehow already made DVD status on its own.

A recently married young couple arrive in a quaint English village and - through fate - he starts to become very successful as a local odd job man. Although his success has little to do with his skill at fixing-and-making-good!

The above sentence might make this sound like a legit film like The Godfather and The Shawshank Redemption, but can I quickly dismiss such thoughts. Indeed consider the thought shot-down-in-flames. This is a straight out, head-on, show-me-the-money, no prisoners taken, attempt to exploit money from a soft-core sex romp.

(What the comedians call a "cold weather film" - you want to turn your collar up as you leave the cinema!)

The sex film is unique that it doesn't need any plot device or central theme. Indeed we reviewers get embarrassed by such omissions and try and pretend to see one ourselves.

Here the lead is a male Emmanuelle - someone who falls victim to other people's agendas: Unlike so many of cheap guy-trying-to-cop-off British sex comedies he never takes the sexual lead.

However when the housewife strips off, lays across the bed, mimes a quarter to three with her legs our hero catches on that there may be more to the job than fixing the bed leg. Like the household dog who sees a wild rabbit - he returns to his primitive self. However in post coital bliss he turns to his former state as the slow affable moron.

To link together and scenes and fill time we have weak comedy in the form of a spank happy Lord of Manor and a snooping policeman - who has nothing better to do then watch the antics of our bumbling hero. The village, obviously, being crime free.

(Bob Todd and Chic Murray - Lord and Policeman respectively - were respected character/comedy actors in their day, although long gone to the great music hall in the sky.)

The director (John Sealey) hardly worked again and you can see why! Is there anything more depressing than third rate dialogue captured on a genuine 35 mm film camera? It is almost a crime against cinema itself. This should be on Super 8!

For a moment I dream, and in this dream I win the lottery and move in to this village of sex starved zanies - where behind every door is a frustrated wife or a horny daughter with the IQ of a fish and the dress sense of a desperate stripper. If only such a place existed and I could move in - or even take a two week a year holiday.

Smut-master general John Sealey's D. I. Y inspiring 'The ups and downs of a handyman' (1975) with delightfully ahndsum, well-bonkable couple Barry Stokes & Gay Soper is a righteously sleazy slap n' tickle celluloid sensation!! Cor!!! They're all at it hammer n' tongues, mayte! This delightfully retrograde filth is fleshly endowed with some of the very breast of British 70s talent! Rib-tickled for your pleasure!! Not 'arf!!!!

It never ceases to amaze me why people are so sanctimonious about this genre of film (the Radio Times is just the same). I loved it! It's packed with all the classic seaside postcard humour that made Carry On and Benny Hill (yes, the late comic genius Benny Hill - Charlie Chaplin thought so) that makes films like this so watchable time and again. Yes, it's lightweight, but that's its triumph: it's just a story about a jack-the-lad having a good time with the girls. I'd swap with him!!

By the way, any film featuing Valerie Leon is worth watching for her alone. Her beauty is simply out of this world.

Mind you, the theme tune is absolutely awful........

I`ve seen this film a few times ,and it seems quite similar to the Carry On films ,even poaching some of the same actors,but it`s good fun and harmless enough,although the house featured ,and definitely the bathroom ,I have also seen in a much more explicit short film entitled Big Boobed Lady (all in the course of research obviously). The storyline is quite weak ,but then that isn`t the point of the film.There`s some nice scenery and its definitely a village I wouldn`t mind living in ! There were a lot of saucy British comedy films like this in the 1970`s ,and this is a long way from being the worst of them.Check it out and have a good laugh !