Seven

Watching some of Andy Sidaris' cheesy flicks of the late 70's and early 80's, you'd never know the man was a visionary in the sports television medium and a 7-time Emmy winner who directed the Olympics, Wide World of Sports and some of the early NFL telecasts. That said, "Seven" represents one of his better contributions to the B-movie genre. It boasts great scenery and the obligatory bevy of scantily-clad women that characterize a Sidaris film. And it's a treat for fans of William Smith, one of the most accomplished character actors of all time, who receives top billing and features him in the unfamiliar but welcome role of good guy.

Freelance mercenary Drew Savano (Smith) is called in by a government agent to wipe out mobsters bent on taking over the state of Hawaii. For a fee of $7 million dollars, Savano assembles seven specialists (hence the title), each with a different talent, to take on the mission. Though it takes a bit long for us to be introduced to each character and assigned their individual targets, it's worth the wait to watch just how these specialists- The Dragster, The Professor, The Indian, The Playmate, The Cowboy, The Comic, The Black Belt- will take out their quarry.

This movie won't remind anyone of Hamlet. Laughable dialog and various unconvincing characters (looking at Ed Parker with his bad hair and pot belly you'd never know the guy was a martial arts legend) make this more tongue-in-cheek than anything else, but it's just this approach- it's a "B" movie after all- that makes "Seven" an enjoyable watch. Lenny Montana, Art Medrano and Reggie Nalder are among the notable character actors lending their talents to "Seven". There's gorgeous former Playmate Susan Kiger and actress Barbara Leigh in bikinis for most of the movie. And Kwan Hi Lim, who seemingly appeared in every Hawaiian/Polynesian/Asian themed show covering two decades, skillfully portrays his usual oily villain.

Fun stuff from Andy Sidaris. Seven stars for "Seven"!

Good old Andy Sidaris.

You can always count on his movies for a little action, a little intrigue and...say it with me...a little skin.

Flicks like "Seven", for example. This one features a covert team led by William "Big Bill" Smith who is out to kill off the baddies threatening the peace-loving government of Hawaii. Of course, there's always plenty of time to show some dynamic women in all their glory along with the maiming and killing.

But if your movie diet consists of films of this ilk, you could do a lot worse than "Seven". In fact, a lot worse.

TIDBIT - This movie features the famous gag seen a couple of years later in "Raiders of the Lost Ark", where a guy is beset by a swordsman and simply draws a gun and shoots the blade-wielding baddie dead. Not bad.

Seven stars. Who woulda guessed?

I just want to say that since 1979 when I first saw this movie I have been searching for it to buy. I loved everything about it at the time and still think the campy feel to it was what made me remember it so easily. I remembered the stars, the director, and the plot line. Very cheesy but if you love that in an older movie you will really like this. So if I ever find this movie be sure I will add it to my collection.

This was Andy Sidaris' second film, and it follows the formula for all the ones that followed: spectacular scenery, even more spectacular women in various and frequent stages of nudity, good action scenes, goofy humor. The plot is about seven mobsters who get together and decide to take over Hawaii, and the government agent assigned to stop them. It's good to see big William Smith playing a good guy, and he seems to be enjoying himself (there's one scene, apparently unscripted but which Sidaris left in, where Smith is sitting, clothed, in a shower room and a gorgeous naked woman appears out of nowhere, sits down next to him and stares at him; Smith obviously wasn't expecting it and bursts out laughing, then looks offstage and shakes his head, as if to say, "Okay, you got me"). The cast is stocked with veteran character actors--Nick Georgiade, Art Metrano, Reggie Nalder--and everyone seems to be having a good time. So will you. It's a fun movie to watch. Pick it up if you can.

This is the guy movie of guy movies. Lots of unnecessarily topless women, tough guys, dad jokes, and bang bang you're dead action.

The plot is a group of bad guys of the type who have BAD GUY stamped on their drivers license facing off against a one man army and his buddy Cowboy who rides in on a pony.

There's a persistent voice over who tells a complex, intricate plot. It has nothing to do with the onscreen action, but it would probably make for an interesting movie if acted out. The plot onscreen is very simple and easy to follow.

Many of the scenes feel spliced in from another movie, with different actors delivering action or comedic beats unrelated to our story. They're kind of like commercials except they're fun.

Everything looks and sounds seventies and at times sixties, which adds to the amusement.

Seven stars for seven.