Touche pas à mes tennis

This is one of the few 70's drive-in movies I actually remember seeing in a 70's drive-in--well, sort of. My older female cousin had actually taken us to another drive-in movie, but she was occupied with her boyfriend, so my younger cousin,my brother, and I got out of the car to wander around and we saw bits of this movie showing on another screen--namely the recurring scene with the dog stealing girls' bikini tops. It's pretty tame and goofy in retrospect, but it sure is pretty memorable when you are ten years old.

Seeing the entire movie years later, I can't help but have some misbegotten affection for it. It is one of those free-spirited, anarchic late 70's teen films with no real plot to speak of except for a bunch of California teens cruising around, partying, and having sex (ironically, pretty much what the young drive-in audience at the time was probably also doing). The lead Kim Lankford, who plays a female lifeguard having her first sexual experiences, never really appeared in anything after this, but she was an appealing beauty and quite memorable here. Co-star Tara Stroheim was involved in a lot of Roger Corman-type 70's drive-in fare like "Hollywood Boulevard" with Candice Rialson. The actress with the most interesting career, however, is no doubt Susan Player who was in "The Pom-Pom Girls" (a somewhat more famous drive-in movie a lot like this), but she also appeared in Italian sex comedies like "Cugini Carnal" ("Carnal Cousins")and the British-Italian exploitation film "The Adolescents" with Koo Stark.

You don't need to know any of that to enjoy THIS movie though. It's no cinematic masterpiece by a long shot, and it's fairly tame as far as sexploitation flicks go, but is an enjoyable time capsule of a bygone era.

This film is one of my favorite of all time. Why? Because there's obviously something wrong with me. Who in their right mind would find brilliance in a film so thoroughly built for the quick Drive-in buck. Who would tolerate marginal acting and a non-existent storyline, a soundtrack the consists of three songs played over and over and over again, and a freeze- frame ending where everyone is laughing at a bad joke?

Who, you ask? Anyone who can see past the mechanics of this film, the strained convention and the low-budget. Crown International was the perpetrator of this relaxing slice of 1970's nostalgia and they know how to make these type of films like no one else.

There's something magical that exists between the lines of this film and how it captures the lazy days and fun nights of being a teenager and spending your days on and near the beach. It reminded me of those times back in the late 70's/early 80's. Moreover, the two lead girls have definitely got something going. And, as far as the three songs are concerned, with the exception of the synth track that seems to be the only thing that plays at the bar they all go to, the other two tracks ("I go to pieces" originally by Peter and Gordon, and "You're Gonna find love" by who the heck knows) add to the charming time machine quality of this film.

During my summers, when I was too young to see R-rated films like these, I recall that Crown used to group their latest and their last as double features. This film originally was grouped with "The Van" and later with "Van Nuys Blvd." Both MB and Van had "Dugan", whom, I guess, wasn't a popular enough character to make a franchise out of (due to the unfortunate comic stylings of Steve Oliver). Van Nuys Blvd., it seems, couldn't procure him so they created the much beloved character "Chooch" instead. A sad day for all, indeed.

I put this on sometimes when I have friends over. The typical response they have is amazement at the sheer randomness and stupidity of the movie -- but after a few minutes, no one can stop watching it. When I ask why, they usually say, "I just want to see what happens next." Sign of a masterpiece if you ask me.

Some of the oldest looking graduates leave Malibu High for the promise of good times on Malibu Beach. Honestly it looked like every blond blue eyed boy in Southern California was tapped to be an extra.

No real plot, a lot of interconnected stories. The main storyline consists of Kim Lankford a new lifeguard and the rivalry for her between surfer James Daughton and bodybuilder Steven Oliver.

Malibu Beach is like an extended version of Bay Watch. Some forgettable Beach Boy type songs. Usual silliness.

But a lot of the blond and beautiful.

Another teen centred comedy from the 1970's revolving around the beach, bikinis and the summer time. It's a comedy but the generic kind with no laughs, as it plays more like a romantic comedy. There are several different characters but we don't get to know them too much.

The cover poster art depicts a running gag where a large dog steals women's bikinis while they are lying on the beach. It was slightly humorous at first then got repetitive and wasn't funny. The end pay off wasn't anything special but we saw the collection of bikinis near the end. We wonder how they trained the dog to partake in this.

Overall it's a carefree teen summer comedy with some brief skin shown. Nothing and no character really stands out. The song playing throughout was decent.

"Malibu Beach" is one of several beach-themed movies Crown International released in the late '70s/early '80s. Until its recent resurrection in several DVD box sets of Crown International movies it was pretty much forgotten, and it doesn't take too long when watching it to guess why. To be fair, the movie, while low budget, never looks really cheap. (Except maybe for the scene with the shark's head, which looks worse than the shark built for the Italian JAWS rip-off GREAT WHITE.) The movie also has an attractive and likable cast. But the movie quickly becomes boring because there is essentially no plot here - it's just a bunch of vignettes loosely connected with each other. And the various attempts at humor throughout are extremely predictable with their execution and punchlines. Still, I will admit that the movie could have been much worse to sit through.