Can I Do It 'Till I Need Glasses?

"Can I Do It 'Till I Need Glasses?" Is a collection of skits much like "The Groove Tube" or what "Saturday Night Live" would look like without the television censors.

Many of the skits are of a sexual nature and contain nudity. Some of the skits are funny and some simply are not. If you don't enjoy raunchy humor, you won't enjoy "Can I Do It 'Till I Need Glasses?". Everything from the Lone Ranger to riding on public transportation to being in court is spoofed.

The cast is made up of largely unknown performers. Patrick Wilson (The Abductors, Lady Chatterley's Lover) and Robin Williams are the only actors that I'm familiar with. If you're watching just for Robin Williams, it's probably not worth it as he's featured very briefly in two skits.

I first found this and it's companion film "If You Don't Stop It You'll Go Blind" at an old Carnival Video rental store in the early 2000s and decided to rent them, not knowing anything about them. Tons of this kind of stuff filled the shelves of video rental stores in the VHS era. Now, these types of movies are largely forgotten.

Yeah, the jokes are old and silly, yeah, there's no continuity. But I remember seeing it in a theater, that last 20 minute skit, the longest one, was gut-busting and so hilariously funny that it was worth the wait. I have never cried tears of laughter so hard before or since.

Everything else about the movie is dumb. It is hard to imagine how it was ever financed. I remember the reviews of the time putting it down and calling it a big dirty joke in the poorest taste. Well, yes, every sketch is an unoriginal 5th grade toilet joke. Everyone, except the last. That is a 6th grade toilet joke. But the joke is acted out and drawn out and actually something comparable to a vignette from Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex", only way funnier, if you can imagine that.

An update of the skits and jokes you would have seen on a Burlesque stage in the first half of the 20th Century. It's a string of several jokes acted out. Some of them you could tell your Grandmother, some of them not, but it's a fairly safe bet she's heard them all before. For what it tries to be, it's not too bad. Before you rent it, remember that it's an older style of entertainment and has more value as history than as comedy or titillation. Robin Williams has a couple of bits, but he's interchangeable with the other players.

No real plot to this one, just a series of short skits acting out some VERY old jokes. I chuckled once or twice in the beginning, much to my chagrin. But even at only 73 minutes this film wears out it's welcome before too long and becomes stale and tedious (with some nudity sprinkled in here and there to keep you awake). Still as bad as this movie is (and that's pretty putrid), it's a comedic gem compared to pretty much ANYthing by Aaron Seltzer & Jason Friedberg (Date movie, Epic movie, Meet the Spartans) Also the song is sadly kind of catchy in a sad way.

Eye Candy: 11 pair of tits, 3 bushes, 3 asses

My Grade: D

Code Red DVD Extras: Original trailer for this film; and trailers for "Beyond the Door", "Dead Pit", "the Farmer", "obsessed Ones", "Power Play", "Sole Survivor", & "Wacky Taxi"

I saw this when I was sixteen years old and perhaps this was the reason I found this sketch based film so very amusing and I can still remember some of the sketches more than half a lifetime ago

Man in nudist colony with back to camera hands two female nudists two cups

" Coffee ? "

" Thank you "

" Donuts ? "

" Thank you "

Guess where the donuts are being kept ? Ha Ha Ha . That sums up the level of humour and my favourite joke involved the Lone Ranger who is bitten by a rattlesnake while urinating ( Guess what part of his anatomy got bitten ? ) so sends Tonto to get medical help . He manages to go into town a find a doctor who tells him that the only way to treat snakebite is " to suck out the poison " so Tonto goes back to find find The Lone Ranger :

" What did he say "

Tonto sees his friend lying in sheer agony : " He said ssss , he said sss , he said you're going to die Kemosabi "

When asked most fans of this movie will admit the bus sketch is their favourite moment where a man sits on a crowded bus reading a porn mag . He unzips his pants and starts to masturbate . Yeah I know it's crude and near the knuckle even if the camera is locked onto a medium shot of the man's face but the joke works because it becomes long running . After the initial scene it cuts away to several more sketched then returns to the man who is more and more excited at pleasuring himself . Cut away to a couple more sketches then back to the bus which has now stopped with most of the passengers running out screaming . Back to a couple of more sketches then back to the bus with an overly excited man then back to the bus where he reaches a climax . In a state of sexual relief he pulls out a packet of ciggies and sticks one in his mouth . Thoughtfully he turns to the one remaining passenger on the bus , a priest and asks " Excuse me father do you mind if I smoke ? " The picture freezes and a caption and voice over is played - " You meet the nicest people on a bus "

Hey guys I saw this when I was sixteen . Don't blame if me if CAN DO IT TILL I NEED GLASSES hasn't dated well