Hollywood Boulevard

The flick doesn't so much satirize or parody drive-in cheapos as it mocks them. And what movie series is easier to mock than the rubber monsters, cheezy sets, and sloppy directing from the 50's. In fact those earlier flicks pretty much made fun of themselves, and I can imagine what went on behind those set-ups. Here, those behind-the-scenes come to imagined life and add up to the flick's goofy core. But no teen of that era cared what critics thought, including myself. Then too, I really liked the drive-in crowd scene here, where anything goes including make-out teens on car fenders and wholesome 50's type families who actually watch the screen.

Anyhow, the action never stops after the first part. It's all explosions, gunfire, and production crew misfires, and shouldn't overlook the many topless actresses who are anything but misfires. Speaking of actresses, Rialson and Woronov's characters Candy and Mary are not mocked, being more abused by the quickie industry than lampooned. In fact the opening scenes of the stage-struck Candy getting taken-in by fast-talking operators like Walter (Miller) strike a more somber and realistic note than the movie's goofy remainder. In fact, despite the overlying lunacy, there's a somber subtext: namely, that Hollywood exploits the heck out of young women, making them readily dispensable like Jill and Mary. Perhaps that's not a surprising reality to most of us, but a worthwhile under-current to the tom-foolery, nevertheless.

On a lighter note, good to see real veterans of Roger Corman's drive-in empire getting lead roles here - I'll bet they had fun mocking their past. Anyway, brace yourself for an hour-plus of nonstop action and lots of laughs from a nutzoid look at good-times past at the beloved drive-in.

A beautiful blonde from Indiana (Candice Rialson) moves to Hollywood to become an actress and find fame. She hooks-up with a dubious team of moviemakers who run Miracle Pictures. Their slogan is: "If it's a good picture, it's a miracle." Statuesque Mary Woronov is on hand as an increasingly bitter actress who works for the company.

"Hollywood Boulevard" (1976) is an amusing send-up of Grade Z filmmaking with comedy, action, slasher, you-name-it. It's amusing for the first 40 minutes or so, but starts to lose its charm by the second half. Sure, it's entertaining to a point if you want to turn-off your brain for a fun time, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a shallow, throwaway flick.

Nevertheless, there's a surprising sequence that obviously influenced Coppola and his outstanding air raid on the village sequence in "Apocalypse Now."

Blonde Candice Rialson was a memorable B-film starlet in the 70s, along the lines of redhead Claudia Jennings; and, less so, thin Tara Strohmeier, who plays Jill here. Meanwhile brunette Rita George is notable as Bobbi. There's quite a bit of top nudity, so stay away if you find that objectionable.

Eleven years later, "Howling III: The Marsupials" would feature a satirical filmmaking crew, similar to the one in this one.

It runs 1 hour, 23 minutes, and was shot in Los Angeles, including Hollywood, except for sequences done at Paramount Ranch in Agoura Hills, which is west of there, just north of Malibu in the high country (the Western town set and open landscape shots).

GRADE: C.

but probably nobody else.

A young, beautiful woman (Candice Rialson) comes to Hollywood to become a star. She starts working with Miracle Pictures ("If it's a good picture, it's a miracle") as a stunt girl. Miracle makes nothing but ultra cheap t&a movies. There's the star director (Parl Bartel) who supposedly thinks he's making art and an arrogant diva (Mary Woronov) who wants all the film to herself. Then woman are being killed on the set. Who's doing it...and why?

Film was actually shot in 10 days with directors Joe Dante and Allan Arkush using tons of footage from previous Roger Corman movies. The movie never takes itself too seriously and does have some VERY funny lines. But the plot is way too feeble even at 83 minutes (there's LOTS of padding); the acting is pretty bad (except for Bartel, Woronov and Dick Miller--all having a GREAT time); there is an unnecessary (and stupid) wet T-shirt sequence; there's a very sick rape scene played for laughs (and repeated twice); a very brutal knife slashing and plot holes galore (why DOES that guy at the end have all that stuff about victims in his little shed?).

What kept me watching is the tons of funny little injokes for movie fans. They're way too numerous to mention but they are there. Also it was just released in a 25th anniversary edition and looks just great. Most casual viewers will probably find this dull, stupid and sick--they're right, but it is fun for film fans.

Don't miss the jokes during the closing credits and one right after them.

Ultra-cheap even by New World Pictures standards, naive go-getter with stars in her eyes Candice Rialson ("my friends call me Candy") finds herself the reluctant débutante in a z-grade Phillipino actioner when her shonky agent (Miller) signs her up for stunt work in the latest film of the "Miracle Pictures" assembly line. The last stunt girl died as a result of the paltry set conditions but Candy is willing to give almost anything a go if it means an opportunity to make it big. Initially duped into robbing a bank that she thinks is a hidden camera role, "Hollywood Boulevard" chronicles Candy's coming of age as she matures in the sordid, tempestuous industry of exploitation film.

Really just a self parody, directors Dante and Arkush have spared much expense cobbling together this endless parade of in-jokes and raunch, with dialogue to die for ("now get it up, or I'll cut if off") and enough skin to make a porn star blush. Bartel is amusing as the ultra efficient director, desperate to placate his high maintenance leading lady (Woronov) and come in under budget, while Jeffrey Kramer (fresh from "Jaws") trundles out the banal scripts like confetti at a wedding, while wooing Candy on the side.

Lots of bare flesh, flying limbs, simulated sex and corny double entendres to offend almost everybody, and, a bizarre blue grass musical number of zero relevance thrown in for good measure. If you're not a devotee of the New World Pictures experience, then doubtful "Hollywood Boulevard" will be your cup of tea; for everyone else, it's a trademark romp down to the usual standards.

Hollywood Boulevard (1976)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Fun homage to the trash pictures of the 70s from directors Joe Dante and Allan Arkush. Candy (Candice Rialson) arrives in Hollywood and before long she realizes that becoming a star isn't going to be so easy. After several doors are slammed in her face, she eventually picks up an agent (Dick Miller) who gets her working at Miracle Pictures but soon a maniac is knocking off their stars. Hollywood BOULEVARD's history is actually much more entertaining than the film itself so those interested in the movie should certainly hear how this picture came to be and what type of budget the directors were working with. Overall I think fans of 70's drive-in pictures should get a kick out of this but at the same time there's no question that the majority of the film is just the same note over and over. I say this because when you're spoofing the entire drive-in genre, after a while it's clear that you're just spoofing the same type of stuff only with a different setting. We get a spoof of Philapeano movies, action movies, slashers and just about every other popular thing at the drive-in. These spoofs are actually somewhat clever but I think the film works best early on when the woman first arrives in Hollywood. The scene dealing with a bank robbery is just priceless. Also priceless is the work from Dick Miller who hands down steals the picture in his role as the agent. Rialson is also extremely charming (and beautiful) in her role and she really makes you believe that she's just some young girl who gets in over her head. The supporting players all do justice to their parts. At just 82-minutes the film flies by rather quick and even with its flaws the thing is still worth watching.