The Lost Empire

OK, this isn't a good film by any stretch of the imagination but you don't really get it for that do you? I bought it just to see Raven de la Croix as I remember seeing this when a youngster and her being this incredible figure of white on a horse (white star is her character name).

The plot and FX are laughable but the music was surprisingly better than expected almost sounding like the works of John Carpenter.

Unfortunately the film is only a 15 so there's no real sex but the image of Raven in some kind of very short, dream state when she has a snake draped round her neck is mind bendingly erotic and worthy of the purchase price.

3 busty (the eye-catcher) ladies fighting (not literally, yet bouncing) the evil Dr. Sin Do (yes, that´s the name - he does sin).

Anything interesting? Sorry, no.

If You like well endowed women working it out and also save the world by hunting down some evil men, this is the movie for You.

Otherwise: don´t watch it, because a worst plot featuring silly characters acting in strange scenes won´t entertain You at all.

Jim Wynorski starts as he means to go on, opening his directorial debut The Lost Empire with a close-up shot of a buxom woman's cleavage. The owner of the impressive breasts is a customer at a jewellery store who leaves the premises as three ninjas arrive to steal a precious jewel from the eye of a statue. The owner of the shop gets a shuriken in the head. Three cops show up and begin shooting at the ninjas; all three ninjas die, but not before killing two of the policemen and mortally wounding the third. This wild pre-credits scene perfectly sets the tone for this very daft action flick: cheesy comic book fun with big boobs.

After the credits have rolled, Wynorski sets up the plot: before they were vanquished, a forgotten civilisation called the Lemurians hid secrets of their super-science in two jewels - the Eyes of Avatar - which were separated during the war. Now, whoever brings the stones together again will rule with absolute power, and guess what?... an evil genius called Sin Do (Angus Scrimm) is planning to do just that!

Seeking revenge for the death of her brother (one of the cops killed in the opening scene), beautiful and buxom (natch) blonde Angel Wolfe (Melanie Vincz) teams up with massive-mammaried native American Whitestar (Raven De La Croix) and jailbird-with-big-jugs Heather McClure (Angela Aames) to enter a competition held at Sin Do's island fortress, the tyrant intending to build an army of trained assassins.

Like a cross between Charlie's Angels, a Russ Meyer movie and Enter The Dragon, this deliberately trashy exercise in silliness sees Wynorski packing in as much exploitative content as possible in his scant 83 minute run-time: ninjas, native American mysticism, a women's prison catfight (that turns into a mudbath), a shower scene, a robot tarantula, bad sword-fights, a pet gorilla (of the man-in-a-suit variety), a powerful phallic laser weapon, and, of course, lots of gazongas.

It goes without saying that it's all very low-brow, and with an obviously tight budget, extremely cheap looking at times (there's a really bad matte painting and Angus Scrimm's skeletal make-up at the end is little more than a rubber mask), but it is quite a lot of fun. Wynorski's stuck to his guns over the years, with countless 'fully loaded' films featuring well-endowed women, but this is still one of the better ones.

6.5/10, generously rounded up to 7 for IMDb.

This movie, although a grade 'B, movie.. warrants viewing ... believe me, if you like MST3k videos, you'll like this one even without robotic comments. There's something about the honesty and simplicity of the actresses that makes it a very wholesome movie ... so watch it, or drop out!

Three bosomy babes go undercover to the island of Dr. Sin Do (Angus Scrimm) to find out why Angel's cop brother was murdered by some ninja looking dudes. The diabolical doctor holds a martial arts tournament, but it also using his conquests for slaves to be sold while staying young by drinking their blood. Oh, and he is also looking to gain world power by combining the ancient Eyes of the Avatar stones, one of which just happens to be in Angel's purse. This was director Jim Wynorski's directing debut and it is delight from start to finish. It is incredibly pulpy and definitely has its tongue-in-cheek. The most surprising thing here is all three female leads (Melanie Vincz as Angel, Raven De La Croix as Whitestar, Angela Aames as Heather) are actually really funny in their roles, showing they were on the same page as Wynorski. Of course, seeing as this is Wynorski, you know that the screen will be covered in busty babes who get topless. Hell, his opening shot is a James Bond-style scope that pans across some boobs! He doesn't disappoint and Russ Meyer would be proud. It is such a strong debut for Wynorski that it saddens me that he basically stopped giving a damn 10 years later and now just cranks out generic action and T&A messes. Co- starring Paul Coufos as love interest Rick, Robert Tessier as evil sidekick Koro, and Blackie Dammett (aka Anthony Keidis' pop) as a corrupt cop.