Les créatures de Kolos

The funniest thing about this film is star Richard Kiel's attempt to have an emotionless, alien voice. He sounds like a bored Valley Boy. Also, the fxs are awful. The duplicated humans break into little pieces like broken glass. Definitely fun to watch and laugh at.

Aliens come to earth and try to take over by converting people into animated ceramic zombies.

At least, that's what the IMDb write up says. I found this movie to be a bizarrely awful one, because it was simultaneously dull and incomprehensible. This is unprecedented in my movie-viewing - although it is possible that my steel sieve of a memory has blessedly let slip others that match this description. Incomprehensibility usually draws my attention as I try to figure out what is going on. Is this the result of an abysmal script? Terrible editing? Poor actors? There were those, certainly, like Ted Durant as 'The Galaxy Being'.

Maybe it was because there were also some fine actors trying to treat what was going on as normal, performers like George Macready and Hugh Beaumont and Richard Arlen. Well, Arlen was the Mikey of film actors. He'd play in anything. The others, though, are a bit more puzzling. Perhaps they simply liked to keep their names before the public, or needed the money. There are certainly people like that.

I just don't know. Given that I spent a couple of hour looking at it, and half an hour puzzling over this review, I am going to drop the matter. I've wasted enough time on this one. However, if you ignore this review and look at this one, let me know if you figure it out.

An alien (Dr. Kolos, Richard Kiel) is transported to Earth to prepare for an invasion by perfecting human duplication, with which an unlimited supply of obedient slaves and soldiers could be created. Written by the usually imaginative Alfred C. Pierce, the plot is a throwback to the numerous 'alien duplicate' films of the 50s and early 60s with a minor plot twist before the otherwise cheap and predictable ending. The towering Kiel is amusingly robotic as the alien who becomes infatuated with Lisa, Delores Faith's short and extremely unconvincing blind girl, 'Leave It to Beaver's Hugh Beaumont shows up as a cop while 'Robot Monster's George Nader is the stalwart secret-agent hero Glenn Martin, complete with a superfluous, brassy New Yawker girlfriend (Barbara Nichols). The story doesn't make a lot of sense, especially the inconsistent duplication process, which seems to result in super-strong, bullet-proof yet oddly fragile mannequins. Other than an early scene of Kolos being sent to Earth via "teletrasporter" (a process remarkably similar to the transporters in 'Star Trek', which debuted more than a year after this film came out), the special effects are cheap and laughable (especially the climactic "pulse laser beam"). Pierce's low-budget science-fiction films are usually better than they should be (such as 1966's 'Cyborg 2087') but this one isn't, and beyond an undeniable appeal to camp and/or genre fans (primarily due to the cast) has little to offer to justify sitting through 80 minutes of boring bargain-basement 'spy-fi'.

I saw this film as an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and it is a movie that had potential, but just executed in a rather lame manner. However, considering this film was done in 1965, they probably did as good as they could with a low budget. Richard Kiel also gets to actually be on screen and not be in a costume like he was in, "The Phantom Planet", which is funny seeing as how during one portion of the film they actually played music from, "The Phantom Planet"! Another problem with the film is that it does not seem to know what it is as it is kind of all over the place. The film plays out like a spy movie, a science fiction film and there is a dash of horror too! They try action sequences, a bit of romance and other genres pop up and the story just never seems to know what it wants to do.

The story has an alien dude getting his final instructions from his superiors as they instruct him to take over the earth and that if he fails that he will be destroyed. His first task on the planet is to go to this scientist that lives in an isolated mansion complete with a dungeon, to get help in his plans. The next thing we see is a man going to what looks like a motel, but is being played off as some sort of research facility and he steals some vital components from the place. The man is shot point blank, but with no effect! A mediocre agent starts investigating along with an annoying blond agent and he soon will learn that there is something strange going on at the mansion! Turns out the alien is manufacturing duplicates of humans and they are how he is going to take over the world!

This made for a funny episode of MST3K as with a film of this type is going to have a lot of stuff to riff; however, that being said, the film's run time is listed at 100 minutes. That means a good deal was cut to fit the time constraints for the show as the movie's run time is actually longer than the show! That means it is really kind of hard to judge how much of the confusion comes from the film and how much comes from the fact that a lot of the film was left out. I mentioned earlier that the story did not really seem to know where it was going, but it could be clearer if I were to watch an unedited version. Still, it would not change the fact that the blond was annoying, the androids could take bullets, but their heads shattered like glass and Richard Kiel wore some rather corny outfits!

So, I would actually be willing to watch this one without MST3K to see if some of my complaints with the plot would be cleared up in an uncut version. Besides, I like watching Richard Kiel being able to actually act rather than being covered up in a bulky monster costume or being dubbed and his real voice covered up. He was a pretty good actor and an all around nice guy from what I have heard so it is nice they let him actually perform here. There was also potential with the plot as it is a bit of a take on, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", I actually think this one could have been a lot better had they actually added more horror to it. So not all bad, it had potential, but a lot of the time it played out rather lame. It almost seemed at times as if the agent in this film was in other films and that this just one in a series of films he had been featured in.

This movie actually came off as better to me than most people here think. It might be because there is this one line that's actually really clever. A character says, "Say something" and the guy literally says, "Something". It was nice to have a recognizable actor, Richard Kiel here. The film is still for the most part bad. The bad special effects are particularly noticeable. It really is funny to see these androids lose their body parts and see their faces literally fall apart. It managed to entertain me like that.

Everyone acts like a robot in this. It ends up making more sense than most examples. It's still fairly poorly acted, particularly with how ALL the characters/actors do that. It probably could have been shorter too. When there's not much plot going on, it always drags on. This movie is about an alien who tries to replace people on Earth. There's not much motivation, so it's still skippable. *1/2