The Starfighters

Honestly, that's a line in the movie, if you can call this a movie. It's mostly stock footage of jets flying, landing, bombing, and roughly ten hours of refueling footage. The "plot" revolves around some leather-faced Air Force pilots training in new jets. That's it. Tedious doesn't come close to describing this film. Literally NOTHING happens. Nothing.Oh, and everyone in this movie has third degree sunburns and disturbingly lumpy faces. "Top Gun" it isn't. This is just a really bad movie. Be sure to look out for the Poopy Suit, a suit that somehow keeps you from drowning if you crash a jet into the ocean (not that that happens, because THAT would be interesting). The only way this is watchable is the Mystery Science Theater version, it's hilarious.

This film probably gathered every piece of stock footage the US Air Force had to offer at the time. I think the producers thought "we have lots of cool stock footage. We don't need things like plot, character development, and the like." Sadly, this film will never amount to anything, just like the hero of the film, a son of a Congressman.

I admit that I watched the MST3K version of this movie which possibly isn't really that fair, but to this movie it's the only way anyone could possibly watch it.

Let me give you a synopsis of this movie: Stock footage, stock footage, nothing happens, nothing happens, something about a congressman wanting his son to fly bombers instead of fighters, stock footage, nothing happens, anticlimactic scene with a hydraulic failure (with stock footage), nothing happens, nothing happens, stock footage, stock footage, nothing happens, "sex" scene where two couples cuddle in an open convertible, stock footage, stock footage, nothing happens, congressman calls again, stock footage, nothing happens, something about a "poopy suit," congressman calls again, stock footage, unseen fighter crash and anticlimactic helicopter rescue, nothing happens, another call from the congressman (didn't he have better things to do like vote on legislation or get involved in sex scandals with interns?), stock footage, the end. Oh, and Crow finally gets on the information superhighway.

This movie could have been so much more, but it was just so dull, dull, dull. I mean, how could a movie about fighter jets and pilots be boring to watch? They could have at least explained how the poopy suit got its name, but they didn't even bother to do that. I suppose the constant phone calls from the congressman about his son were supposed to be dramatic, but he soon became annoying. There was far more drama when Topper Harley had issues with his dad's image in Hot Shots! I was in the Air Force myself and my parents didn't call me as much during a four-year tour as this guy called in a two-hour movie!

I don't know if this movie still exists outside of MST3K, but I certainly hope not. I'd hate to have anyone try to watch it without wisecracking robots.

I agree with Vegeta-2, except for the implication that the MST3k treatment makes this film watchable. They try, but even THEY run out of jokes - this is one tedious movie! And although I doubt that "Poopy Suit" is the real name of that outfit, nobody can understand what they're really calling it, so Poopy Suit it is. The most action you'll see in this movie is the pilots testing the poopy suit... in a swimming pool. (yawn)

I am an F-104 Starfghter nut. It is my favorite aircraft.

This film had the opportunity to be a real interesting film, since the F-104 was a very high performance jet fighter. There could have been scenes showing the airplane's incredible climbing ability to 75,000ft or more. Perhaps a few scenes of zero length launches from a flat bed trailer. For some light moments perhaps some banter between the international pilots and USAF pilots would show a humorous cultural barrier. Much like "Breaking the Sound Barrier", this film could have been a real cult movie for aviation buffs. However that chance was wasted, the slow pace and boring dialog make this hard even for me to watch.

If you like '104s keep the fast forward button handy.

By the way, "poopysuit" is a a nickname for an anti-exposure suit. It's worn by pilots when flying over cold water.