Orgie sanglante

As the first-ever splatter epic, "Blood Feast" is assured of its place in history. This low-budget shlockfest is single-handedly responsible for launching an entire genre of films, including slasher fare like the Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Nightmare on Elm Street movies. For that reason, its place in hell is probably assured, too. Though to be fair, of course, we can thank it for so many other blood-soaked cinematic excursions that are actually entertaining.

And fortunately for cheese heads, director Herschell Gordon Lewis, the "Godfather of Gore," is also the Ed Wood of gore. The two great auteurs share many important trademarks in their roster of masterpieces, including wooden acting, absurdly bad dialogue, cheeseball effects, and lousy continuity. "Blood Feast" sports all of these endearing qualities and more, even going so far as to include some Woodian abrupt day-to-night-to-day transitions.

The dopey plot involves one Fuad Ramses, author of the New York Times bestseller "Ancient Weird Religious Practices," and his attempt to re-create, through his ridiculous "exotic catering" service, an authentic Egyptian blood feast, whatever that is. But really, all we need to know is that it involves the gruesome murders of pretty young women. (Surprise, surprise, surprise!) Beyond that, all that's left to say is that the Good Doctor gives this landmark bit of trash cinema two wheels of gorgonzola up.

Followed, insanely, by a sequel in 2002.

Oft-credited as the first traditional "gore" pic, 'Blood Feast' establishes all of typical conventions of the genre; including nubile, young women (including a Playboy Playmate), excessive blood and guts, and even some dark humor (including the "hamburger" line and the trash-compactor ending). It's also inept in every way, from the atrocious acting and horrible directing to the dumb-as-dirt characters. Hell, the most intelligent character in this movie is the murderer, Faud Ramses - what, with him having penned a seemingly popular non-fiction work and running a bang-up catering business to boot - and even he is not too bright, which unfortunately catches up with him in the end.

If you love bad movies in that MST3K kind of way, than this is one to see. It's laugh-a-minute riot (and you've go to love the score). So put down that copy of 'Ancient Weird Religious Rites' and check this movie out.

This is the splatter anticlassic all us sickos know and love. The non-plot is, well, pretty simple and it's only an excuse to cut loose with loads of very extreme gore and sadism. Fuad Ramses (Mal Arnold), an Egyptian maniac of pagan bloodlust, must serve up a "blood feast" to Ishtar, his horrible goddess of gory days gone by. Y'know, back when chicks used to get their hearts yanked out on altars IN BLOOD COLOR! How does he get the morsels for his feast? It's an easy guess! Tongues pulled out. Limbs cut off. Brains hacked out in a blood-splattered mess. It's the grand-daddy of all the sickest stuff you've ever seen, and even though it's pretty stupid and bad, it sure is fun! It's even funny on purpose (as well as the other way around). For those of you who dig this unsavory and depraved type of junk the way I do, find this bad mother as soon as possible and surrender to the forbidden pleasures of the first splatter-comedy ever! (I think...)

Holy canoli! I decided to rent "Blood Feast" on a whim because I had heard that this movie was terrible, so terrible that one would wholly laugh their ass off. Let me begin by saying that this movie WAS hilarious! The funny thing is is that it wasn't meant to be a comedy. That's the ironic thing. I laughed at everything in this movie. The beginning scene where the woman gets her eye cut out is definitely the worst edit in motion picture history(if you've seen it you'll know what I'm talking about!) The actors - They didn't seem believable. Were they reading cue cards? The funniest actor award goes to the guy who played Tony, the victim on the beach (Were those Real tears that he was crying?) The music - that violin song is the funniest song. It's even funnier when you listen to it drunk or stoned. And those drum beats? Ahhh...soothing! However, I'll give it to HG Lewis for creating what is highly regarded as the "1st Gore Film." Can you imagine Faces of Death without gore? Or even Saving Private Ryan? All in all, it's a film for both horror fans and the types of people who want to laugh themselves to death for an hour straight!

Herschell is maybe my favorite gore director. The person who invented genres off handedly, does it again - for the first time! Wonderful colors, very disturbing plot. John Waters used to watch these films as a young man. One could see Herschell's effect on Waters later films like 'Pink Flamingos' when you look at Herschells colors (color me blood red) and the trashy- campy acting, costumes and settings. When I think of flesh Water's star Divine - i have to admit - Waters saved some of that gore effect that Herschell has in his films. The effect of real fleshy gore!