Last of the Wild Horses

When one reviews a picture, it's important to consider the time frame in which it was produced. In years gone by, we had more simple times, hence more simple plots and so forth. This picture is of interest mainly because it is the only one ever directed by B-movie mogul and theater owner Robert L. Lippert. A few years later, Lippert's company would release "Little Big Horn"(1951) and "Tall Texan"(1953), now considered B-movie classics. This one shows how it all began for Lippert. Sure the story is routine, however it is somewhat redeemed by the fight scene at the conclusion, which was very advanced for it's time. I guess today, if a movie doesn't have a budget of ten gazillion bucks, has so many explosions it gives you shell shock, and enough sex and nudity to turn your gut, it isn't any good, eh? Don't beam me up Scotty, just send me back to the '50s!!

When my dad was young, Grandpa would take him to the drive-in to see westerns. They always parked in the front row so that, as Grandpa said, "So we could smell the horse manure." One does not need to get too close to smell the fumes coming from this movie.

The hero's name is Duke (could they have been trying to cash in on John Wayne?) Anyway, Duke is a robber-cum-rancher the filmmaker couldn't decide if he was a good guy (white hat) or a bad guy (blank bandana). They also couldn't decide if he was going to have a romantic relationship or not. He had the attention of two lady cowboys (cowgirls? cowbabes? cowchicks? cowladies?), both of whom seek his attention. Maybe they want to have his children, maybe they want to share him as part of a harem...who knows? That angle (among many) is never fully developed.

The big fuss seems to be about stealing all of the mares from the wild horses running free and minding their own business near the quaint town of Jacksonville. A couple of bad guys at the Double C ranch want all the horses for themselves, eventually setting the stage for Duke's sham trial for the murder of the head of the Double C.

Watch this on MST3K, since they do a hilarious send up of the original Star Trek's "parallel universe" episode ("Mr. Crow -- your agonizer, please!!" "Oh, goody, someone left us an agony booth!") Otherwise, Sterno says brand this cow a loser.

This movie starts out weak and then gradually just sort of wanders off.

It has potential, story-wise. A large rancher, Cooper, is pressured by his daughter and the other small ranchers to stop rounding up the wild horses in the area. His lead man has other plans and gets himself and the other Cooper employees deputized so they can frame the small ranchers and confiscate their horses. Cooper finds out about it and confronts his lead man, who kills him and frames Barnum, the "hero." Barnum is the weak link. He seems like the laziest, least intelligent, yet most charming guy in the area. He pushes people's buttons for fun and can't decide whether he's crooked or good. They all work hard and he just rides around seeming guilty of crimes or at least thinking about committing crimes. But chicks dig him. He mostly just appears here and there, acts cocky, irritates someone, and then rides off to rendezvous with a girl. And yet somehow you really just don't care what he does. You might doze off and wake to a scene that seems almost identical to the previous one.

Whatever.

Yes, near the end of this film all the action will shift from the plains, to the courtroom as the hero of the movie is put on trial. Kind of interesting, though not sure a trial of this type would of occurred in the old west. I figured the people would just mob the accused and hang them and feel a bit regretful when they find out the person is innocent, but still smile when they think of the fun they had afterward at the cookout. This film is about a guy who may or may not have been attempting to rob a stage coach intervene in three guys chasing a person and becomes the hero of the film. He has two girls interested so he is doing quite good for himself as he has a cute brunette and a cute blond, both from different households. The brunette is the daughter of a man who is sort of the bad guy, but not really. He just is a very poor employer who really should watch his employees better. The blond lives with a guy named Remedy who she may be the daughter of or not, their relationship is a bit more obscure compared to the brunette. Well it seems one ranch is rounding up all the wild horses and this hurts things somehow and there are lots of chases involving horses, tepid gunfights, and a couple of old fashioned fist fights where the good guy gets beat down for the most part. However, do not feel sorry for him, as he does have two cuties after him. Surprised the blond did not pull the trigger during the one scene as she was clearly falling behind at that point. It had its moments, to bad it feels the screen with one to many going no where kind of scenes. It does teach a valuable lesson, however, and that is back in the old west, one only really needed a handkerchief to prosecute someone of a crime. Guess it is kind of like DNA evidence today.

You know, as an Oregon resident, there is a benefit to living here, especially since a lot of movies were filmed here, from "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey" (1993) to practically every movie made by Laika Studios (i.e. "Coraline" [2009]). Unfortunately, we have our fair share of bad movies, and this dull, tedious western from 1948 is one of the worst, to the point where an episode of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" was devoted to it. It really is that bad.

So what's the story behind this thing? Well, this duo of deputies hired by a big rancher named Charlie Cooper is rounding up the mares of some wild horses on his order, despite being told by smaller ranchers and his daughter not to. Our hero, ironically named Duke (though he's nothing like John Wayne), stops the deputies from illegally rounding up the wild horses, while also being framed for horse theft shortly after. Things go too far, however, when Cooper's head deputy shoots his employer and frames Duke for the murder, with the only proof being Duke's black bandanna. So it's up to Duke to clear his name, stop our villain, and get the girl in the end.

Watching this movie, I can't help but think that this is basically a dumber version of "The Man from Snowy River" (1982) before it was even made. The main character is an unrelatable, smug prick without a brain, the villain is as wooden as can be (also without a brain), and the execution of the plot is practically all over the place. Oh, and did I mention that this movie is as boring as boring can be? That last point is possibly the biggest sin this movie commits, because last I checked, westerns were supposed to be suspenseful thrill rides, not snore-fests equivalent to that of a Lifetime movie.

So as an Oregonian, even though we did get a funny episode of "MST3K" out of it, let me just say that on behalf of everyone in the state, we apologize for almost assassinating the western genre with this trite. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go watch a better western with Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, or Randolf Scott to wash the awful taste out of my mouth.