Housewife

I had the opportunity to watch "Housewife" during the 11th Edition of the Lisbon International Horror Movie Festival, Motel X, in September 2017. Having watched Can Evrenol's brilliant and nightmarish "Baskin" last year, I was really excited to watch this movie in the midst of fellow horror movie aficionados. Not only that, but the only preview I could find on YouTube was actually quite compelling, so my expectations were at their peak as I entered the movie theater. Alas, as my initial excitement faded, my expectations would soon be laid to waste. While the movie had a promising start, it quickly went astray. The acting was mediocre, at best, but all I kept wondering was why on earth would any studio hire a non-English speaking cast to speak in English for the majority of the time when these events are not even occurring in an English speaking country? It's distracting, to say the least, and adds absolutely nothing to the story. Furthermore, while most of the dialogue focuses on exposing who these characters are, what they do for a living and how they came to know each other, not much of it is truly dedicated to clarifying some of the most meaningful aspects of the story, such as the identity of the old lady in the painting or the importance of the pendant that she wears around her neck. We can try to guess and speculate, but we never really know for sure. Plus, the nudity, sex, blood and gore also feel gratuitous and bear no significance to the story that we're being told. They're just randomly thrown into the mix. The only hint of purpose is only provided at the very end, where all threads are tied together, but the ending itself failed to have much of an impact as I wasn't invested on these any characters to even care about what happened to them. There was simply not enough meat on these skinny bones. In conclusion, the acting was wooden, as there was very little chemistry between the actors themselves, the characters were underdeveloped, the plot was weak, the story was insubstantial and the on-screen violence, even though it was well executed, served little purpose apart from attempting to shock the audience. If you are a hardcore horror movie fan or if you're into H. P. Lovecraft's body of work, feel free to check this one out. However, I personally think that here are far better movies out there for you to watch, so I suggest that you don't waste your time on this one.

Where to start? Well the acting is a good start - the acing in this film is SO bad its almost unwatchable. It actually became laughable at a point which was the only way I made it to the end. I ended up pretending it was a comedy I was laughing so much. The story is also completely forgettable and the direction portentous. The film has the same problems as the directors previous film, all style and no substance. I wouldn't be surprised if the film didn't have a screenplay its so awful in the the story telling department. The problem for me is the films the director is trying to mimic had style yes, but they also had a heart which is utterly missing from this film. I didn't care about any of the characters, what characters were there to care about? He is obviously a Fulci wannabe but he ends up more like Eli Roth - who no one wants to be. If it was made as a comedy, i would give it 4/5, but in reality its not so it's 1/5. His previous film did show promise but this is a real stinker. Someone get the air freshener.

The movie starts well with what looks like an engaging and strong story, then gradually fades to the point of just wanting it to end as soon as possible.

Technically the film was fine, as was the acting as far as I am concerned - the story and the way it was told are the problem. All of a sudden it goes from being a logical progression into some kind of disjointed mess of editing that throws the viewer out of it, then desperately tries to win them back.

One to miss and/or forget.

Half baked and poorly written. Nothing is explained so there is no way to engage with the material, its all just happening with a vague understanding of 'oh this is supposed to be bad'. There are callbacks to things that happened in the beginning, but those things were never really explained in any way, so you don't know what they are to begin with or if they are bad or good or what, and you come to the end of the movie with no real understanding of what you just watched, but some semblance of who I suppose is Cthulhu is there, so you know it was a super spooky time. Don't waste your time, you'll be disappointed.

Relentlessly average. Not scary enough to be a decent horror movie, and not much discernible humor to make the non-scary stuff funny.

There's a pretty hot threesome scene, but that's about it for fun.