Cats

There is a wall in my house. The wall is a simple wall, eight feet tall, and fifteen feet wide, it sits in a corner in the basement. It has been painted beige, with a few coats to cover up the bumps and scratches from coats before. It's got it's idiosyncrasies, the way the light jumps off the paint, the not so even drywalling underneath. Stare at it long enough, and it begins to speak to you - or at least allow you to speak to it. Maybe there's something to the wall - or maybe it's just my romantic illusions of inspiration and contemplation that bring life to it. My point is this - staring at that blank wall for two hours is far more inspiring, interesting and enlightening than watching even just two minutes of the cinematic colonoscopy that is "Cats." A film so awful, so ridiculous and so void of substance its very existence is an affront to musicals, film and theatre. Unless you're a fan of 'so bad it's good' cinema, stay away. This is a watershed moment in bad movie history.

I'm not a praying man, but I was praying so hard for this movie to end. From the fist minute, I knew this movie was going to be a disaster. What a waste of talented actors.

Honestly I wish I was joking. Just everything was completely terrible. James Corden was cripplingly awful but that's nothing particularly surprising. Leaving the cinema I'd felt as if my soul had been sucked dry. Avoid at all cost.

The most entertaining part of this entire movie was reading these hilariously bad reviews. It was SO boring and hard to watch.

This film is truely a masterpeice in unintentional horror. The effects are so special I'm going to have nightmares for weeks to come. Why they didn't just dress the actors in costumes and makeup I have no idea, either the filmmakers are lazy or someone wanted to push the boundries of visual effects. Cats pushes those effects right off a cliff into the uncanny valley. The design and look is freakin disgusting.

I never saw the stage musical, so I didn't know what I was in for. This movie that has no plot, it's just a bunch of random cats introducing themselves. I tried to enjoy it as a so-bad-it's-good cringefest, but the lack of plot and the terrible effects make it impossible.

If you can't even look at the screen without feeling annoyed & disgusted, it's impossible to enjoy it in anyway.

Thanks Tom Hooper.