Navy Seals: Battle for New Orleans

Navy Seals vs. Zombies had the potential to be a cheap and cheerful 28 Days Later/Dawn of the Dead mashup, but the awfulness of the farrago makes it a lifeless (ha!) affair. Overall, the film lacks pacing (partly to do with interminable scenes of people shaking their heads at various events or just staring at each other), but there are a number of amusing street scenes in which the 'zombies' run about in hilariously random directions, which is worth seeing. Of the zombies - they are very inconsistent, with some being veritable herculoids in possession of super speed and strengh, while others shamble about in a shambling fashion (but still seem to overpower apparently the best-of-the best-of Navy Sealdom with consumate ease). Also, some of the zombies pretty much look like slightly infected humanoids, while others have skull-like visages and red eyes - again, no consistency! So all in all, a shoddy affair, and no mistake.

THe copy I am watching is titles Navy Seals: Battle for New Orleans. It takes place in Baton ROuge...What? Did no one think to look that up?

The editing and continuity people should never be hired for anything over a pre-school production. From the muzzle fire to explosions to bullet hits, they are all completely sad. They show a car window being smashed out and later, that same window was in tact.

The cast...Fat Seals? Really? Couldn't you get people who looked the part? They didn't even shoot realistically. Since when can you let off 3 round bursts without the gun moving at all? My God, even Ed Quinn seemed lost in this dung-heap of a movie. After all, there is only so much you can do with a badly written and directed script.

Unless you want to punish yourself or have really bad vision and hearing, I can't recommend this movie to anyone...ever.

'Navy Seals vs. Zombies' was a film oddly enough where part of me wanted it to be a guilty pleasure at least. The idea was a pretty decent one and the title sparked some intrigue. So did not want 'Navy Seals vs. Zombies' to be bad or watched it trying hard to dislike or be prejudicial towards it, would never do that to a film as it is an unfair way to do so.

Unfortunately, 'Navy Seals vs. Zombies' is yet another film where a decent idea is completely squandered by really lame execution. Very little works or is good, although not a film with no redeeming qualities and that it doesn't feel as much of a rip off as other films seen is a point in its favour. There are far worse films overall and of the genre granted, but it is always really hard not to be annoyed when potential is not lived up to.

The scenery and music are serviceable, more so than most low-budget films seen recently. Ed Quinn also does his best to keep things afloat and interesting and is above average as a lead.

It is sad though that the rest of the acting is very bad. Even amateurish, with a mix of looking constipated, bad overacting, having the inability of acting scared or fearful of their situation and just acting emotionless. None of their characters are likable, they have cardboard personalities- once you get over the fact that there is literally every cliché in the book- and are severely undeveloped, with a mix of dull as dishwater and cartoonish.

Although films like 'Navy Seals vs. Zombies' are not to be seen for technical refinement, the technical values are Z-grade budget. The editing is atrocious, some of the most confused and shoddiest ever seen, as are even more the ridiculous (to the point of unintentional comedy) look of the seals.

Dialogue is just painful, the interplay is awkward and the actors look even more uncomfortable delivering it while the scripting itself is shallow, on the wrong side of camp and rambling and if you're looking for sense you won't find it. The story is erratically paced and dumb, with a good deal of dullness and with rushed action, the conflict is dull to deadening effect and is silly. The direction never rises above lame.

Overall, weak. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Navy Seals vs. Zombies (English) 1/10 Genre: Action/Horror/real crap Director: Stanton Barrett Cast: Ed Quinn, Mikal Vega, Damon Lipari, Michael Dudikoff Year: 2015

I don't know who makes this kind of crap and even bigger question, why did I watch it? I guess only because of Michael Dudikoff as it's his comeback film after 10 years although his screen time is not more than 5-10 mins. I have seen a lot of bad films but this one is a whole new level of bad film, it's like the Ben Hur of crappy films. Normally I don't like to criticize films no matter how bad they are as an appreciation for the people who put in their hard work but this one surely doesn't deserve any. Two minutes into the film and I knew I made a huge mistake of watching this one. I felt asleep ( I swear to God I did) and only if I didn't have this principle to finish a film once I start watching it no matter how bad it is I would have never dared to complete this film and turns out to be the most painful experience I ever had and I was desperately waiting for it to finish. Acting, direction, story, editing, sound and everything else is horrible and I think the best part of the film was it's trailer. Just to give you an idea of what's in the plot, Five Navy Seals go on a rescue mission to save the Vice President of the United States in a town infested by Zombies. I mean really, you will just send five guys with one chopper (not sure how did they manage to got the chopper) to rescue the Vice President of US. The Zombie make up was laughable, I have seen better make up in my office during Halloween, acting was worse than a Kindergarten play and...Forget it, it will go on and on. Stanton Barrett who is some stunt guy should stick to doing stunts or should seriously take a crash course in film direction before his next film. The actors were more painful but It was good to see Michael Dudikoff, not for his acting or anything, he even had this stupid scar oh his face to make him kinda look bad ass. If you love Dudikoff and miss him on screen re-watch American Ninja or any of his previous films till he comes out with any decent one. This is not a review, this a warning message to stay away from this film as I have already suffered and don't want others to go through the pain.

I am actually a fan of bad movies like this. But why would you call a movie the Navy Seals the battle for New Orleans (title on Netflix), when it is all in Baton Rouge. I see this stupidity in many movies and TV shows. The South is portrayed are all rural, or small towns, or low intelligence, etc. This is like calling a movie the Battle for San Francisco and setting it in Los Angeles. Of course the oh so smart folks who aren't afflicted with the Southern birthright would notice that immediately. The acting was not completely terrible, and the storyline was par for the course for low budget "disaster" movies. At least you did use the actual old capitol building in Baton Rouge.