The Perfect Bride

THE PERFECT BRIDE (1991 TV movie) 5 out of 10 stars Time to Read: 3min

BASIC PLOT: Ted Whitman (Linden Ashby) thinks he's met the perfect woman. Her name's Stephanie (Sammi Davis), and she's a bit mysterious. He's only known her three months, but for Ted, that's enough. He's head over heels for her, and so is his family. All except his sister, Laura (Kelly Preston), who doesn't quite trust Stephanie. She can't figure out why everyone is so gung ho for her, especially since Laura continues to catch her in lie after lie. She lies about her past, about her family, about everything. Stephanie has a way of explaining away these little indiscrepancies, and everyone just believes her. In fact, their faith in Stephanie has caused the whole family to turn on Laura. The more Laura uncovers, the angrier they get... at Laura. Can she uncover Stephanie's real identity and motives before anyone else dies?

WHAT WORKS: *HAVING STEPHANIE REVERT TO HER BRITISH ACCENT WORKS Stephanie is driving Darlene somewhere (to dispose of her), pretending to be Laura. A car pulls out in front of them, and she reverts to her real accent (British), and says, "bloody hell!" In those types of situations, or when drunk or sleepy, people tend to let their "original" way of speaking come forward.

*HAVING TED'S EX GIRLFRIEND , SHOW UP TO WRESTLE AT HIS BACHELOR PARTY really works as a reason Stephanie would go off. Deidre (Tamara Clatterbuck) has already made it clear, she'd be open.. to Ted's advances, even saying so right in front of Stephanie. Having Stephanie see this, and then having Ted lie to her about it, is the last straw on a fragile mind, that's on the verge of collapse.

*CRAZY GRANDPA IS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR John Agar plays crazy grandpa VERY well, and he's the only member of the family I care about (other than Laura).

*PRODUCTION VALUES ARE ABOVE CURRENT MOVIES This looks, sounds, and feels like a real movie. You never feel like it was made on the cheap, or not up to par, as you do with ALL made-for-tv movies today.

WHAT DOESN'T WORK: *WHY IS THE MOTHER SO HATEFUL TO HER OWN DAUGHTER? First she gives Stephanie, a total stranger (her future daughter-in-law, whom she's known for mere hours) her wedding dress to wear, WITHOUT even asking her daughter, Laura, first. Then when Laura balks, the mother gets mad at HER. I'd put my mother in her place if she did this. It's unacceptable to let anyone wear your wedding dress, EXCEPT your daughter, unless you've ASKED your daughter first. It's a betrayal FOR SURE! But this mother seems oblivious, which makes her more than unlikable. Therefore, I hope she gets SLAUGHTERED. Maybe that's the idea.

*IT SEEMS LIKE STEPHANIE IS FLIRTING WITH THE LAURA It's a bit bizarre, to have Stephanie behaving flirtatiously with her future sister-in-law. It's very wink wink type of stuff, but still there. Odd.

*MAYBE I'M HYPERSENSITIVE BUT... If my family treated me the way they treat Laura, I'd cut these toxic people out of my life, and never see them again. The mother's behavior is over-the-top evil to her own daughter, and the brother is a sanctimonious ham (which Linden Ashby has a hard time pulling off, probably because he's too nice in real life). They are all horrible people, which makes them hard to sympathize with. I never cared what happened to any of them. It's never a good idea to have your protagonists so unlikable, especially in a melodrama.

*THERE'S NO CHEMISTRY BETWEEN TED & STEPHANIE They don't have anything in common. You can never understand what they see in each other, and so it just doesn't work

*WHY DOESN'T THE CATERER CALL 911 Was this written by a man? Because a woman's instinct is to call for help, no matter who her attacker is. It isn't to go outside in the dark, and then try to find, and confront the attacker. That's what a man would do. It's just stupid, and not what ANY woman would do, but especially NOT an older woman.

*DARLENE HARRIS IS THE WORST WITNESS IN THE WORLD She comes on a plane to identify this woman, and she can't because she's in a wig and glasses? What use is she?

*ALL COPS BELIEVE IN ONE THING: THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES IN HOMICIDE So, even if George (Ted's best friend & a cop) was drunk & horny at the bachelor party, he WOULD listen to Laura's facts regarding men dropping like flies, the day before they were to wed Stephanie, AND the fact they were all engaged to nurses (like Stephanie).

*CRITICALLY ILL COMA PATIENTS ARE NOT LEFT UNATTENDED I have this problem with lots of Lifetime faire, people can't sneak into the ICU, and murder people. Not in 1991, and not today.

*AFTER LAURA IS THE HEROINE & RISKS HER LIFE TO SAVE HER BROTHER... No one says "Thank you!", or "Are you alright?" NOTHING! She's left alone, and you hear people in the background worrying about Ted, but NO ONE says ANYTHING to her. UNBELIEVABLE!

TO RECOMMEND, OR NOT TO RECOMMEND, THAT IS THE QUESTION: *If you enjoy made-for-tv melodramas, you'll probably like this. It's a silly, fun, time waster, that's now also a nostalgic romp back to 1990. Enjoy!

CLOSING NOTES: *This is a made-for-tv movie, please keep that in mind before you watch/rate it. TV movies have a much lower budget, and so your expectations should be adjusted.

*I have no connection to the film, or production in ANY way. This review was NOT written in full, or in part, by a bot. I am just an honest viewer, who wishes for more straight forward reviews (less trolls and fanboys), and better entertainment. Hope I helped you out.

The acting is appalling. This movie is just horrible. Not campy, or fun, just horrible. Sammi Davis? The English actress, is the worst! Ugh, this movie was just horrible!

I read all the comments on here and agree with a lot of things others said. One thing I didn't hear anyone mention was how MEAN the mother was to Kelly Preston's character! Almost every time she had a line directed towards her, it was very hateful. For a sensitive girl who was still grieving over the death of her sister, you would think the mother would have been more supportive.

Also, I know nobody will probably read this, but I wish they would because I'm puzzled by something. I've seen the movie more than once and noticed that they got Sammi Davis' character's name wrong. Most of the time it was Stephanie Peters and sometimes Suzanne Potter or did I just miss something? Also, why did the car almost run Stephanie and Ted down in the parking lot scene before they went into the gym to meet his friend? What did that have to do with anything in the movie?

Had this film been a submarine it would have sunk in shallow water from all the holes. This woman was so psychotic she couldn't have hidden her condition from a half witted, blind, ten year old. She had more problems than a certain gentleman driving a white Bronco down an L.A. freeway. All her victims sported a pair of dead giveaways that any first year morgue attendant could spot from across the street. Hello? Do the authorities know how to spell autopsy? Aside from these glaring holes the size of King Kong's hemorrhoids it wasn't a total wash-out. Decent enough performances but the pratfalls were strictly amateurville. After the first 5 minutes I saw exactly how the thing would end....and it did. This picture reminded me a lot of 2 other movies in this genre which were much better: "Black Widow" and "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle".

Kelly Preston is great in this film going against type casting her as the films' hottie. In this one she is not, even though they would have to try harder to really make her look bad, they just made her to look as plain as possible. In this film she is the heroine which is a great place for her and needs to be done today. The other girl played a good sexy psycho. We all have known people who have fallen for someone bad. Movies are usually more extreme than reality but that's OK, I like them that way. This film is a great low budget film put out before Quentin Tarantino changed the rules on indie films. It is highly recommended if you can find a copy.