Guns: As Armas da Vingança

Dona Speir and Roberta Vasquez play sexpot federal agents in their first outing for writer / director Andy Sidaris. Donna Hamilton and Nicole Justin must foil the plans of bad guy Degas (Erik Estrada), a gun runner who continually sends hired guns after the two women. But Donna and Nicole have plenty of allies - the standard assortment of movie protagonists who make up for in visual appeal what they lack in acting ability - and firepower at their disposal.

Sidaris is once again following his expected formula to a tee - action, eye candy, exotic settings. You know the drill. Still, fervent Sidaris fans will likely enjoy the various goings-on, especially the way that he will always contrive ways to have the lovely ladies bare as much skin as possible. Fortunately, his sense of cheesy humour is apparent once again as well, and among the highlights along the way are a pair of assassins (Chu Chu Malave, Richard Cansino) who often dress in drag, a grenade sent by remote control boat, and a corpulent, cheerful good guy named Ace (veteran actor Chuck McCann, "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter") whose day job is magician for a night club. He interrogates two inept villains in a way that would make any "bad cop" proud.

Estrada does look like he's relishing this rare chance to be the bad guy, plus it's good to see grizzled tough guy actor Danny Trejo as his primary henchman. Overall, "Guns" is pretty similar to its follow-up, "Do or Die", and features a number of the same cast members, including Malave and Cansino. In the latter movie, they supplied heavy comedy relief. Here, they play it a little more "straight", even as they doll themselves up. Cynthia Brimhall sings two songs quite nicely. Devin DeVasquez ("Society") plays Degas' gal pal who wants to prove her worth as a killer, Phyllis Davis ("Beyond the Valley of the Dolls") is Speirs' mother, and George Cheung (the Vietnamese heavy in "Rambo: First Blood Part II") appears briefly.

Oh, and the story? Dumb as hell, but who ever watches *these* things for the story?

Six out of 10.

Only five films into my 'Girls, Guns and G-Strings' Andy Sidaris box set and I'm already struggling to find new ways of describing what is essentially the same damn movie every time: the same actors; the same characters; the same location; the same silly ingredients.

Guns replaces Sidaris regular Hope Marie Carlton with the equally gorgeous Roberta Vasquez and introduces a couple of reasonably cool B-movie stars as villains (Erik 'Ponch from CHiPs' Estrada and Danny 'Machete' Trejo)—everything else is exactly as one would expect: dumb plot; big breasted women in very skimpy outfits; hunks with bad hair; ridiculously large hand weapons; deadly remote control toys; and assorted men in drag (in this case, a pair of trannie assassins).

With a fraction more action than usual (there are some nice 'n' bloody squib shots), Roberta Vasquez getting topless on a motorbike, and suitably nasty deaths for both Estrada and Trejo, this one is possibly my favourite of the series so far. Then again, it might not be. It's hard to tell.

5.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 6 for IMDb.

This is the 5th out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in chronological order. Gangster Degas (Erik Estrada) tries to get a few agents out of the way so he can ship weapons from China to South America via Hawaii. But Donna Hamilton (Dona Speir) doesn't give up easily, because Degas killed her father years ago. So even if pistols seem good enough for others, Donna prefers a rocket launcher to blast baddies to pieces. Roberta Vasquez poses with a leather bikini on a motorbike at sunset, while Cynthia Brimhall has a special appearance as a nightclub singer. Chuck McCann gets the best line when he interrogates two suspects: "What is the difference between a terrorist and a magician?" They quickly find out! "Guns" isn't one of the best of the series, but it's got its moments.

Boy...does this director Sidaris like to blow s**t up-but he just ain't good at it. The special effects look like they were staged in a six year olds sandbox. But you get some sweet eye candy in ex-Playboy Bunnies Dona Speir and Roberta Vasquez-unfortunately, both have no concept to emoting. And, without a doubt, you get (maybe) THE worst line ever uttered in a low-budget actioneer:

As bombs (or whatever) are blowing up around poor Dona she grabs some kind of plastic assault rifle and hollers at her male partner "Don't just do something...stand there!" and proceeds to shoot up the horizon. How can you not love it?

***** stars out of 10-mainly for the luscious Ms. Vasquez. BOING!

When the character, Taryn was dropped, his movie afterward lost its comic timing.In every Andy Sidaris movies, it was Hope who provided the humor in the movie as well as good look. As much as I like Roberta Vasquez, she is no replacement for the much better tandem of Hope and Dona Speir in their movies. The director should have just kept Hope character along with the Dona Spear, while bringing along Roberta. Meanwhile Gun is good fun action that sometime dark with no humor to restraint it. It was Hope's Taryn that kept the action with little humor to keep it interesting. I hate to say this, the best Andy Sidaris movies with the female spies was with the pairing of Taryn and Donna Hamilton in the early parts of the series. The facial expression that Taryn gave in a tight situation was priceless, and it sadly why Gun doesn't hold up as well as Picasso Trigger or A Hard Ticket To Hawaii. Finally Gun is good on action, but it is boring without the humor and dark sarcasm that usually comes from Hope Marie Carlton's character, Taryn.