Harvest Lake

I have really dug some of Scott Schirmer's other movies/collaborations (Found, Plank Face, Headless, Space Babes From Outer Space, and to a lesser extent, The Bad Man). This one, not so much. Actually, I'm shocked there are some semi-rave reviews here. I will say this much about his movies, including Harvest Lake: They defy expectation. This is apparently his arthouse/sex/Cronenberg film.

The biggest issue I had with this movie is that it's underwritten. What in the hell was this about? Is everything just padding to get to the weird alien sex scene? Scenes (and characters) go entirely nowhere. Well, admittedly, whatever the scene, just leads to sex. If you're expecting another horror movie... you're wrong! I guess I can give this an extra star for rampant sexuality. And Ellie Church is always a highlight in whatever she's in. Yet, I was falling asleep a couple times.

Soft core porn disguised as a horror film. A real snoozefest, that had me falling asleep. The entity that came from the abyss, who and what was it? The creature from the black lagoon distant cousin. I clapped in glee as it ended, because it was painful to watch. Slow and boring with no climactic ending. Five friends rolling around in lube, this movie made me feel like I was in one of those sleazy time square theaters from the 80s, I didn't need a shower though, i needed some good sleep. Please don't waste your time watching this film, you might get better joy watching paint dry. Trust me, I'm good at picking movies.

Labeled by some as a horror movie but this isn't such. It is more of a mystery type alien film. It starts off relatively okay as the characters are introduced but with its low budget and bland storytelling, the film doesn't offer much or exactly go anywhere.

Then within the final 20 or so minutes it becomes further away as we see these alien type wood creatures. Apparently the people drank some potion type that makes them possessed with those creatures. The film doesn't exactly lead anywhere after that as it is quite short in runtime. Ellie Church is one of the highlights, otherwise this film is a waste.

Have you ever watched a movie and asked yourself what was the point? Please don't waste your time watching this movie. 2 hours of my life I cannot get back. It was like watching a porno, but its background story wasn't as good... and it wasn't a porno. IMDb 5 lines of required review text, is too much to ask for this movie.

A slow-moving, low-budget, erotic, Lovecraftian independent horror with arthouse pretensions, Harvest Lake is set in and around a still body of water deep in the woods, the perfect setting for eerie otherworldly action. Into this remote locale comes one young couple, Ben and Cat (Dan Nye and Tristan Risk), Cat's best friend Jennifer (Ellie Church), and Jennifer's gay pal Josh (Jason Crowe), who are spending the weekend partying together in a cabin. Joining in with the fun is Mark (Kevin Roach), a stranger that Cat met on the way to the cabin. As the friends relax and enjoy themselves, a strange supernatural presence slowly affects their behaviour, increasing their libidos and reducing their inhibitions.

While Harvest Lake is a technically well-made movie, with impressive cinematography, a brooding atmosphere and reasonable performances, it's hard to see who it is going to appeal to: if you're heterosexual, then the gay stuff can be disconcerting; similarly, if you're gay, then the straight sex will probably be a turn off; and if you're a horror fan looking to be scared or disturbed, then the lack of anything remotely scary or disturbing will prove very frustrating. Much of the film consists of scenes wherein the characters wander aimlessly round the woods or talk about sex, all of which is fairly dull. The ending, which fails to adequately explain matters, sees the friends encountering (and having sex with) a one-eyed creature that looks like a reject from Doctor Who circa the late-'70s, only with more goop, orifices, and protuberances.

2.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 3 for blonde babe Ellie Church, who deserves better.