Breeders

I've read other hacks' reviews of this movie, and while it certainly isn't the best movie ever made in the sci-fi / horror genre, it isn't THAT bad if you accept it for what it is - low-budget, b-movie fare that (shall we say) "borrows heavily" from the likes of 'Alien' (nasty extraterrestrial monster that cocoons its victims) 'Species' (gorgeous and confused "space girl") and 'Incubus' (the beastie-breeding-with-captive-girls angle). This is one seriously cheesy movie, and the whole thing was obviously done on a shoestring budget, although the alien isn't too bad (I've seen far less convincing men-in-rubber-suits at any rate). None of the acting is Oscar material and the Isle Of Man doesn't really double for Boston Massachussetts very convincingly. The plot is fairly predictable too and the premise that an alien craft would travel squillions of miles and crash land smack bang in the middle of an all-girls college campus - thus conveniently providing a rich source of perfect breeding victims - is utterly laughable. However, the movie does have its suspenseful moments, there's a few helpings of nudity and semi-nudity and the film does feature one of the few movie appearances by the beautiful and tragic model / actress Kadamba Simmons (as the "Space Girl") who, at the age of only 24, was murdered in London by her jealous boyfriend shortly after making this film.

The trailers for this movie promised and this movie delivered exactly what was promised: Good campy fun with lots of very good looking naked broads! If you were expecting a major Hollywood movie with major stars, stellar budgets, and MPAA tamed money shots, you will be *very* disappointed.

However, if you are a fan of the old "B" movies with unknown, but very good looking young stars that act amazingly well, given the material, some hokey, but surprisingly well done special effects, and very tight naked nubile bodies, this movie is almost heaven!

What a great looking monster when its not moving and computerised to look menacing, shame that when it appears it made Plan 9 look convincing. Samantha Janus must have accepted alot of money for this rubbish, only redeeming feature is the space warrior woman. Watch and laugh and then cry when you realise its longer than 10 minutes.

This is one of those movies where the acting, set location, direction, and effects were so bad you need to rent a copy get 5 or 6 buddies, a keg of beer, sit down and watch it. To borrow from the late Douglas Adams, "Watching this movie will be like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon... wrapped around a large gold brick.".

What is wrong? Everything. British actors posing as Americans, there have been many that can pull it off like Bob Hoskins but he isn't in this one. It wasn't even necessary to choose North America as a location why not say it took place in England or something? The director seemed to like taking shots of girls tits and asses more than actually coming up with some kind of character motivation. So at this point you drunken buddies will be saying, "ALL RIGHT! Another T&A shot!". There isn't much dialog so feel free to skip off to the kitchen and make those sandwiches. What did I like about this movie? After my friends passed out, I managed to collect $185 off of them and told them they spent it at the strip bar after we finished watching the awful movie.

What does this film give us? A rather decent looking monster, an all girl college and lots of goo and monster attacks! However, despite all that, it was still rather bad. Granted, it was entertaining in a bad way, but this thing should have been able to get a five or six from me and instead I am giving it a three. It just missed the mark and though it featured copious amounts of girls and goo and police searching the most elaborate basement ever for a college campus it left me thinking it should have been much better.

The story has a meteorite crashing upon a campus and a girl and monster emerge from it. Then we get a very annoyed head of the college getting the janitor to clean up the mess as the art teacher goes ahead with his class. As far as one can tell, the head of the school, the art teacher and the janitor are the only three people working at this school. Well the monster begins making its move ever so slowly as everyone just wants to wear a piece of the meteorite and sleep with the art teacher and settling for the janitor when art teacher is too busy with attractive blonde girl! Then we get lots of footage of the basement as they try and save space girl and the rest of the missing girls who they do not really try too hard to save and instead elect to just shoot them.

The film could have been rather decent, but it moves a bit slowly at times wanting to focus on the head police guy thinking the art teacher is guilty of something with virtually no proof. Then there are head scratching times as the art teacher stops the blonde girl from attacking by removing her meteorite piece, but neither of them do this with the girls underground and instead blast away. It is also rather sad an art teacher handles the fight underground with the girls running around attacking, better than the police did with just the one monster!

So, it is worth a look see and a few good chuckles and I really thought the blonde the art teacher was hooking up with was very attractive reminding me of a girl I had a crush on in high school. Too bad they were unable to make a really good movie as there are too many parts of the story that just do not work or make sense, like what was so awesome about the meteorite that everyone wanted to wear it as a necklace and how would the monster even know they would because it could control people who wore it? Still, lots of goo to go around for everyone!