Stormswept

"Stormswept" is bad in every way: technically inept (witness the many continuity errors regarding costuming, the frequent intrusion of the boom mike into frame or the overall poor image quality), clumsily written and spottily acted. Though sold as a paranormal thriller, it is mostly an actor's workshop; the characters are stranded in a big old Louisiana plantation house while a storm rages outside. There are numerous boobs on display, male-female sex, female-female sex and lots of talking about sex, all presented in the least visually interesting fashion imaginable. Regarding its horror elements: "Stormswept" is a surprisingly bloodless film. At least a little gratuitous killing would have livened up the proceedings; when this dud reaches its rushed ending, one is tempted to scratch one's head with a dumbfounded expression and ask oneself the question, "Did I really just waste and hour and a half of my life on that?" AVOID this time-waster no matter what; you'd be better off smacking your head with a hammer and watching the stars and planets orbit for 90 minutes.

I watched all of three minutes of this movie before turning it off. That was two minutes too long.

It must be pretty rare, if not unique, that you agree with what everyone has written, not totally of course but certainly in the main. No one could accuse this movie of being good, yet there are far worse, I know because like you, I've seen them.

Set in a classic haunted house, complete with thunderstorm and jump scares, it looks like it could be a homage to those amateur 70's-80's Spanish/Italian horrors, but in actuality that's just due to its poor production rather than by intention. The music and foley is indeed awful, as is the film quality and editing, but the actors do there bit despite this, and it's actually quite unsettling in parts, which just about manages to keep its head above the water.

As I and the others have said, it's not a good movie, but knowing that and if you mainly want to see some quite attractive actresses get naked, and I think they all get naked at some point, coupled with something hammy that has a bit of atmosphere, then you could do worse in my opinion.

Ps. I've rated this slightly higher than it probably deserves, just to get my point over.

This could have been a good erotic thriller. What sexual goings-on that are present at least exude a degree of passion. And the women are all yummy. The idea of a mansion haunted by a spirit that unleashes sexual and then homicidal tendencies is a good premise, it just didn't make it to the end. The only thing I can figure is that about 3/4 thru the shoot, somebody made a deal with Kinmont to grace the video cover, get top billing, and spend about 10 minutes of screentime doing and saying nothing. Trying to fit her character into the script resulted in the scrambled mess Stormswept became. The 'flashback' sequence is so hacked up it is practically non-existent. Which is all too bad, considering it was pretty well shot, and the actors are fairly convincing, especially in light of what they're asked to do. Worth at least one watch for voyuers.

I...don't get what they were trying to do, but I can tell you with confidence that they didn't accomplish it.

I'm gonna keep it simple: The film quality is terrible, the acting is bad, and the editing is atrocious. It stars the blonde female cop from Samurai Cop, so...yeah. You know it's gonna be bad. But not entertainingly bad like Samurai Cop. Just bad bad like the Samurai Cop sequel.

It couldn't beat my 15-minute cut-off.