Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Never has the words "hidden gem" been so accurate. Bad movie lovers might search all over for the next hidden obscurity, sometimes coming up short with stuff like Weasels rip my flesh, but other times, luck will prevail and you might end up with something like Death Bed, then hopefully realizing it's not a bad movie at all, it just has a bad title, and not even a bad title, but a humorous one that might throw you off, but Somehow Death Bed obviously still fits into the "bad" category, and there just ain't no way around that. With a vibe that's somber and empty, Death Bed is a true masterpiece of low-budget horror, reserved only for those fortunate enough to appreciate such a dark shadow of a vision.

Death Bed involves an incoherent, yet intriguing relationship between a demon in the bed and the sympathetic ghost trapped in the portrait, who only wishes he could spare someone from the awful fate of being devoured by the yellow suds. Although not all that scary, considering it's about a killer bed, Death Bed possesses the qualities that make for successful horror. A dark, desolate vibe, confusion, an eerie, subtle score and that dream quality that this masterpiece almost flaunts. Such a quality, or vibe usually seems unintentional. Not only is it intentional, but from what I've read, Death Bed is based on an actual dream, George Barry, the director, successfully transferred dream to film, only a genius could accomplish such a task.

Old mansions make for good quality horror, as do portraits. Not sure what to make of the killer bed with its killer yellow liquid. A bizarre dream, indeed. Also, this isn't quite the brand of B-horror I was expecting, considering the cheesy title and all. Before viewing this Gothic gem, I expected something more like Class Reunion Massacre. Now thats a bad movie, if you've seen it, you know what I'm saying. After considering all of the above, I feel like Death Bed deserves eight stars, but the mysterious charm of this one lingers long after the arrival of the internet era, which counts for something. 6/10

I first heard of this film courtesy of comedian Patton Oswalt who mentions it in one of his hilarious comedy albums. First off let me say that I consider myself a bad movie connoisseur having sat through my fair share and being a huge fan of things like Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic that showcase and make fun of bad movies...

So I ordered Death Bed on Netflix. I have to say the movie is almost exactly like I suspected it would be. I had a hunch, this being a 70s movie, that there would be some nudity and indeed most of the women in the film are naked at one time or another. The movie is slow, tedious and weird but it delivers EXACTLY what the title says, a bed that eats.

The bed does eat. It eats a wide array of things, not just people. This is the sort of "SO BAD IT'S GOOD" cult classic that comes around once in a lifetime. Much like the equally so bad its awesome Manos: The Hands of Fate except this one makes a little more sense and does deliver some decent gore...

All in all I can't say that I'm disappointed, though the movie was by no means good... I'm having trouble rating it out of 10, it's just too darn weird to give a numeric rating to. I recommend it to anyone who wants to see a 100% unique movie. They don't make em like this anymore... in fact they NEVER did.

The premise- a demon falls in love with a maiden and assumes human form in order to make love to her. She dies as a result of this preternatural union, and the mournful demon cries tears of blood upon their carnal bed. The blood is absorbed, bestowing the bed with a predatory animate existence. Nestled within a ramshackle guesthouse, it lies in wait through the ages...a bloodthirsty canopy bed which consumes anyone unfortunate enough to rest upon it. A strange concept for a horror film, indeed, but the presentation is far, far stranger...

This no-budget oddity was composed with a very peculiar artistic finesse...not so much pretentious as self-consciously esoteric, it merges trash cinema sleaze with flourishes of oneiric surrealism(it's largely narrated by the spirit of 19th-century nouveau illustrator Aubrey Beardsley, helplessly imprisoned within a painting on a wall opposite the killer bed). This eccentric admixture doesn't really gel perfectly, but that is certainly not to imply that DEATH BED is a bad film, just that it's very bizarre and obvious of its restrictive budget...I personally consider it one of the most original and inventive amateur horror projects I have ever seen.

Opinions about this one will be all over the board, but there's no denying that DEATH BED is unique. I recommend it strongly to all fans of outré cinema. 7/10.

The title brings to mind everything that made 70's-ploitation a thing of wonder. Yet, viewers are to find instead an oddly artistic film with what must be one of the most strangest ideas for a film in all the annals cinema.

Here goes: a demon falls in love with a girl, but she perishes and his sadness infects a bed which then becomes indestructible and develops an insatiable appetite for for pretty much everything, flesh in particular. The soul of one of it's victims now haunts a painting and comments on the carnage the bed reeks. Weird enough for ya? Sloppy, cheap and very amateurish, the film is really hanging at the bottom rung of the budget/talent food chain. The acting is mostly nonexistent (except for the trapped soul, who is pretty good), the sound quality is rough and the picture is faded. Also, the editing needs some serious attention as the pacing for the film is all kinds of wrong.

And yet, the film kept me watching all the way to the end. It wasn't the trashy 70's goods that held on to me (of which, there are actually very little), it was the controlled strangeness of the picture. Unlike many odd-concept/low-budget affairs, the film starts and stays weird, but keeps itself contained; it comes off more artistic than it does simply exploitive.

Technical limitations aside, the movie is interesting, if not all that entertaining. A less budget restricted remake would be nice, but try to take it for what it is.

6/10

This is a very odd movie. From what I gather, a demon becomes infatuated with a woman and somehow magically conjures up a bed for him to satisfy his carnal desires with her. But the woman dies and that causes some blood to fall upon the bed and suddenly come to life--with a desire to devour any human who sleeps upon it. I guess it's what beds that are conjured by demons do. Anyway, in order to eat a person the bed secrets some type of yellow fluid (which I suppose is an acid of some sort) and essentially engulfs the person. However, there are a couple of people who apparently intrigue the bed so much that it behaves very differently toward them. For starters, there is an artist who painted a portrait of it and because of that he has been trapped behind the painting overlooking the bed. His comments are then given freely during the movie to clue the viewer in to what is going on. Trust me, they are definitely needed. Likewise, there is a woman who has eyes that resemble the woman the demon lusted after and as a result the bed is initially scared of her and bleeds inside whenever she is around. At least initially. Now, if the plot wasn't weird enough, the characters are pretty dumb too as they don't seem to say-or think-very much. They basically see a bed in the middle of nowhere and want to sleep on it. Naturally, they get eaten and in some cases flowers grow on the ground outside of the building where the bed is located. I'm not sure why but perhaps it has something to do with Newtonian physics. Or maybe not. In any case, like I said earlier, this is a weird movie and because of that I recommend it only for those who either like bad films for some odd reason or have plenty of beer (or other type of alcoholic beverages) on hand. Failing either of these conditions you might want to skip this particular film all together. Below average.