Skullduggery

I was tempted to turn off during the awful opening theme song for Skullduggery, but if I had I would have missed out on one of the strangest films of the '80s. I suspect that the incredibly bizarre execution of this movie was deliberate, but what I fail to understand is why: Why put so much effort into making something so unintelligible? Why waste money filming a script that would surely struggle to turn a profit? Why put your name to something that is unlikely to help your movie career? So many questions...

The film begins in 1382 in Canterbury, England, where a wizard is betrayed by a nobleman, and so curses his offspring for generations to come. Cut to Trottelville, USA, 1982, where Adam (Thom Haverstock) and Barbara (Wendy Crewson) work at a costume shop. After hours, they join a few friends for a Dungeons and Dragons style board game, during which Adam starts to suffer strange hallucinations. From this point on, things get weirder and weirder, with an offbeat, logic-free storyline full of surreal elements that leave one feeling like they've just dropped acid.

Amongst the craziness on offer: a talent show at the Trottelville Junior College in which a variety of terrible acts are met with laughter and applause by the audience; repeated cuts to a man playing with a jigsaw puzzle; Adam killing people, including a fortune teller (not a very good one-she didn't see that coming!) and a woman in roller skates whose footwear is cooked in an oven; a man walking in an out of scenes with a Tic Tac Toe board on his back, which gradually gets filled in; a fat couple visiting the costume shop looking for rabbit costumes; a Punch puppet appearing in the background of numerous scenes; a doctor in a hospital wearing a gorilla suit; a policeman acting like Sherlock Holmes (and his assistant is called Watson); and an organist at a church dressed like Liberace.

The sheer randomness of the film outdoes even the most incomprehensible of French avant-garde cinema, and gives the most schlocky of '80s horror movies a run for their money. For many, this will prove unwatchable; for others, it might well prove irresistible. Whatever your opinion, there's no denying that it's a unique experience. As for writer/director Ota Richter's intent: the film's final shot is a big clue, a close-up of a character (I gave up trying to figure out who) flipping the bird! It would seem that the joke is on those who stick it through to the end in the hope of any kind of logical explanation.

There's a lot of thins in this movie that could have come straight out of a David Lynch project- constant shots of a creepy puppet, a mysterious man putting together a puzzle, the director walking through dressed as some sort of a technician with a tic-tac-toe board on his bak.... all really interesting imagery. I think that most of the comments on here are negative because no one even bothers to try and figure out what the hell is going on in this strange film. I really liked it; although my taste runs toward the b-grade genre. The acting is really not great, but there's always something interesting to look at (try to figure out how the tic-tac-toe game is being played) and despite what others have said, the music is great. I won't bother going into the plot here (not sure how well one could sum it up anyway) but I must stress that this is definately worth seeing if you get the chance. If you do watch it, I urge you to take your time and actually try to figure the imagery out; there's a good bit of symbolism at work here and I don't think one should simply write this movie off as awfull without at least thinking it over for a while. I picked it up as an ex-rental for $2 so I can hardly complain. This would actually be nice as a DVD. Seriously.

Oh, Skullduggery, you horrible little cow patty of a film. Your actors are stiff and couldn't read the dialogue for an Ovaltine commercial with a sense of conviction, your plot is incomprehensible and filled to the brim with pompous symbolism no one buts its filmmakers could explain, and in the end, you just plain stink. But gosh darn it if I don't feel proud to have you in my collection of films. You are, without a doubt, the crown jewel in my cornucopia of crap. I threaten my friends with you and they cringe in fear. What power! And honestly, even though you still provide tons of laughs and potential riffing, one aspect of you keeps me coming back for more: your theme song! Oh, how brilliant is your theme song? I burned it onto a CD, for crying out loud! Does that not express my loyalty to you? I have no idea who was crazy enough to write the lyrics and put it to one of the worst tunes to come out of the '80s, but if I ever meet them, I will be sure to shake their hand (or tentacle) and say, "Thank you. Thank you."

Can you read what's in my mind? SKULLDUGGERY! SKULLDUGGERY! Tearing up my mind! Heavy breath, passion in your eyes SKULLDUGGERY! SKULLDUGGERY! I just found a clue, it's all gone! YEAH! I can see what's in your head SKULLDUGGERY! SKULLDUGGERY! Feeling just ahead (??) Killer's smile, now I understand SKULLDUGGERY! SKULLDUGGERY! Shattered hopes and dreams all fall down! YEAH!

Oh, good times, good times. 4/4 stars for sheer crapdom

This was probably the worst movie I've ever seen. Imagery? Symbolism? My ass. This movie was pure crap. Its plot holes had plot holes. The intense amount of useless character who die evoke no emotion. The whole constant costume changes was impossible, as well as retarded. Ugh...I can't even keep writing this, since thinking about the movie makes me want to vomit all over my keyboard.

I would never force this movie upon even my most hated enemy. I cannot conceive how this man wrote this movie, and thought that it was good enough to be directed and produced. I cannot conceive how any self-respecting actor would read the script and actually take on one of the roles. I cannot even conceive HOW I MANAGED TO SIT THROUGH THE WHOLE DAMN THING. It was like a train-wreck in slow motion, so bad that one can't look away, even with the vile hatred of Ota Strichter or whatever his name is building up within one's self.

Seriously folks: This review has horrible grammar and structure because the sucktitude (a word I just made up because there is no word in the English language to describe such drivel) has me in a complete fluster.

Do yourself a favour, instead of watching this movie, do something a lot more entertaining than watching this horrendous piece of junk movie, such as gnawing of each of your digits one by one, or, say, slamming your head as hard as you can into a the frame of a car door and then subsequently closing the door on your head as hard as you can over and over.

If you'll excuse me though, I have to go shove a burning ember into my nose in the hopes that it will reach my brain and burn the memories of it from my mind.

I don't even know where to begin. The Scooby-like music. The frumpy male lead who, apparently, was Johnny Depp before there was Johnny Depp. The stiff, wooden females. The guy making the puzzle (I mean, what the heck does that prove?) This movie makes me want to puke whenever I see it and for some reason I see it often. You have to wonder why it is that every woman in town is unaccountably attracted to Adam. The edges of this guy's mouth are turned down so far, that even when he smiles it looks like he's frowning. But what can I say? The theme song is very catchy. It sticks to you like painful, prickly brambles. Basically, the whole movie is like a bad high school play, and obviously had the budget of one. All in all, I recommend this movie to fans of truly horrible cinema. Like me.