Open House

Like too often the case with 80's slasher flicks, sadly, is the VHS cover of "Open House" a lot cooler than the film itself. The cover image shows the front of a house of which the open door is replaced with a sinister tombstone. If only Jed Mundhra's screenplay was equally sinister and creative! But oh well, my standards for late 80's slashers are generally quite low, and this flick could still be a lot worse. Many of my fellow reviewers around here pretend that "Open House" is the worst bottom-of-the-barrel slasher of the entire 1980's, but then I guess they haven't seen the decade's much bigger turds like "Blood Lake", "Appointment with Fear", "Deadly Games", "Dreamaniac", "Cardiac Arrest", "Sledgehammer", "Hollow Gate" or "The Stay Awake". There you go, all this just to say that "Open House" is bad but not hopeless and actually quite endurable. There are a number of redeeming elements in this flick, like good-looking babes (if you dig typically 80's scream-queens that is), a handful of cheesy gore highlights (chopped off head in the pool) and a pretty amusing (albeit not at all petrifying) psycho-killer. The killer remains off-screen for most of the running time, but you can quickly derive that he is an obese pervert with a couple of awkward fetishes. He inappropriately giggles the entire time and eats cans of dog food! Not the relatively tasty-looking kind of dog food, mind you, but the sort of disgusting industrial junk that I personally wouldn't even feed to sewer rats. For ridiculous reasons that are neatly revealed during the climax, our sick killer targets real estate agents in the wealthier neighborhoods of Los Angeles. He primarily goes for pretty and vulnerable female agents, but if they happen to be accompanied by male customers or lovers, he doesn't hesitate to waste them as well. The killer also regularly calls radio psychologist David Kelley to rant on the air, and then learns that Dr. Kelley's girlfriend is also a real estate agent… "Open House" completely lacks suspense and coherence, and too many plot aspects already featured in other movies. The interaction between a maniac and a radio DJ, for instance, is something that I've seen in other movies before. And yet, horror flicks with Adrienne Barbeau are somehow always worthwhile – those who have seen "The Fog" will definitely agree with me – and all the death sequences are rather nasty. Also, some of the houses that these poor real estate agents are trying to sale are really terrific! There's one a house with the most impressive and astounding pool/swimming pond that I ever saw.

Written and directed by Indian exploitation film-maker Jag Mundhra, Open House stars Joseph Bottoms as radio psychologist Dr. David Kelley, who suspects that one of his crazier callers might be the serial killer currently targeting Los Angeles' female real estate agents. Adrienne Barbeau co-stars as Kelley's girlfriend, a successful realtor destined to come face-to-face with the sniggering, dog-food eating lunatic before the closing credits roll.

In keeping with its real estate theme, one viewing of this silly late-'80s slasher is definitely more than enough: it's extremely dated, lacks original features, and is missing the 'wow factor' so sorely needed in such an overcrowded market. The direction is flat, the storyline drags, there is very little in the way of genuine suspense, and the gore is limited to a couple of unconvincing severed fingers (which are chopped off with a makeshift weapon constructed from a sink plunger and some razor blades!) and a decapitated head.

4.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to 5 for the obligatory female nudity (which comes from a busty dominatrix who takes a nude swim, and Barbeau, who gives fans a brief glimpse of her ample rack), the hilariously camp radio station employee (just in case you're in any doubt about his sexuality, he wears a pink shirt), the bizarre kitten stroking scene, and sexy Christina Gallegos as doomed realtor Pilar Hernandez, who gets the shock of her life when she bumps into the killer.

Horrible, horrible, horrible. The only redeeming quality I could salvage from this achingly slow and sloppily made excuse for a bad horror movie was telling people how awful it is and summing up the plot for them: "It's about a guy who goes around killing people with razorblades glued to a stick because he's angry about the price of real estate." As an aspiring filmmaker, I'm not sure whether I should cry over the film and time that was wasted making this atrocity, or rejoice over the fact that someone, somewhere, has a money tree and is willing to lend it to anyone with a 50¢ script and the desire to film it.

(to find out the only abomination of a film that could beat this one as the worst film I've ever seen, check out my review for "Hundstage" [Dog Days])

A deranged homeless man stalks and murders pretty and nubile female realtors.Radio host Dr.David(Timothy "Hunter's Blood" Bottoms)receives calls from maniac.His girlfriend Lisa(Adrienne Barbeau)works in real estate and she becomes the next target of serial killer."Open House" by recently deceased Jag Mundhra is a watchable albeit very silly slasher flick.The gore is almost non-existent apart from severed head and chopped fingers.Adrienne Barbeau's performance is actually quite good and it's nice to see small cameo of Tifanny Bolling.The final revelation of the Open House killer is quite disappointing as is the climax.Still watching "Open House" is a perfect way to slash some useless time.6 real estate murders out of 10.

Real estate plus murder. I'm a great fan of kooky combinations in my slasher cinema, so Open House automatically had a leg up for me, being a tale of Adrienne Barbeau menaced both by an ass-hole rival and a serial killer taking out her various contemporaries. By and large though, it operates just a click or two above the majority of late 80's slasher trash, which is to say that no one outside of slasher geeks should feel any compulsion to check it out, but those who do may well value it above say, Iced or Fatal Pulse. Standard plotting, we have a lady estate agent amongst the murders of her comrades, attached to a radio psychiatrist troubled after a suicide but possessor perhaps of a link to the villainous culprit. There are murders, house selling, radio scenes and so forth, building to a fairly effective climax and interesting motive boasting a modicum of legitimate social interest. Mostly this is standard trash, but it holds together a little better than a lot of its era. For one, the kills are nicely spaced throughout the film, there are a fair number and the film allots a good length to several, allowing for a nice build up of suspense and at times a fun helping of minor sleaze (yessum, there be boobs). Not much gore in this party, but there are a few after the event corpses and some OK bloodshed, moreover the kills are generally competently and even amusingly constructed, making for a fairly worthy ride. Acting is typically variable but important parties do OK, Barbeau gives her all as well as brief nudity, a strong and likable turn. Joseph Bottoms isn't up to much as her boyfriend but he hardly embarrasses himself, while Barry Hope is effectively seedy as the ass-hole of the piece. There isn't much to impress here, with the few genuinely good ideas a little ill used and a vague sense of boredom often sliding in between active moments but somehow things tend to pull through, nothing too much in the way of flair or incompetence but the bright spots here and there are rather cool. All in all this is another of those films that are only at all worth watching for serious slasher geeks and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, but for those who have to see it it surely won't make you want to gouge your eyes out in the same manner as some of its fellows.