The Norseman

When you get a load of this casting mix and this plot, you're probably already preparing yourself for a dumb, silly and cheese ball period adventure. Much of the acting is less than stellar (yet entertaining in its own way), the accents (or lack thereof) priceless, and the action ridiculous. There's a fair bit of blood here for a PG rated flick, but overall this is a pretty "good" diversion on a crummy, politically incorrect, wholly inaccurate level.

The hilariously cast Lee Majors of 'The Six Million Dollar Man' and 'The Fall Guy' fame plays proud Norse warrior Thorvald, accompanying a group of his men to America (which they dub "Vineland"), where his father, the King (Mel Ferrer), had vanished previously. It turns out that dad had been abducted by the local Indian tribe, so the very slim story ends up turning into a "Norseman vs. Indians" series of battles. Also along for the ride are none other than Jack Elam as an old "wizard", Cornel Wilde as a Norseman named Ragnar, Christopher Connelly as Rolf, Jimmy Clem, a regular in the films of Charles B. Pierce ("The Legend of Boggy Creek", "The Town That Dreaded Sundown"), and the directors' son Chuck Pierce as Majors' younger brother. Sonny Bonos' third wife Susie Coelho plays the young Indian hottie who sympathizes with the Norsemen and betrays her tribe. And is that Kathleen Freeman as an old Indian woman? It sure is.

This is worthy of some hearty chuckles, thanks to the script (by Pierce Sr. himself) and performances. But it's not totally lacking in quality, with sharp Panavision photography by Robert Bethard and stirring, atmospheric music by Jaime Mendoza-Nava.

This may not be one of the directors' finer moments, but it's still fun to a degree.

Executive produced, uncredited, by Majors and his then wife, Farrah Fawcett.

Five out of 10.

Plastic/aluminium armour. Knight's armour on Thorvold and a LoneRanger mask, under his knights helm. Black vikings, white Native Americans...of course the largest insult is that this dreck was filmed in Florida, as evidenced by the foliage and the sugar white sand on the beach. I don't remember Vikings ever landing in Tampa, unless it was in a football game.

I won't even address the little mustache worn by Mr. Majors, as compared to the full beards of his 'Viking' co-horts.

This is a film you can't believe you are watching, yet won't turn off, because you can't look away.

Of course the climax of the film has the 'Vikings' running through water on a sandbar...anyone watching, who is familiar with Lee Majors as the "Six Million Dollar Man" will find themselves waiting to hear the music/sound effects that accompanied 'Steve Austin' whenever he was performing his feats of strength, or running to save the day.

All this film needed was BigFoot.

I am sitting at home watching THE NORSEMAN on TV, trying to pick my incredulous chin up off the floor. This movie must be seen by film students so they can learn everything NOT to do in making a movie. For example: Lee Majors (THORVALD) and the boy playing his Norse son deliver arch dialog in southern American accents...The Caucasian looking Indians with perfect Herbal Essence hairstyles...and perfect teeth..(that tribe must have a really good dental plan) Lee Majors sports a late 1970's mustache and hair style...He probably was on hiatus from a series and refused to restyle his hair...The Max Factor warpaint on the Indians' faces...and the lack of "Light Egyptian" on their bodies...Irish actress, Kathleen Freeman, as an old Indian woman... The "ultra realistic" Canadian location (NOT!), complete with palm trees and Spanish Moss... How did they get the money to make this thing? Where can I get some for my films??? This film is like a train wreck....painful to watch but absolutely riveting in its awfulness. The only area that deserves praise is the cinematography...the exteriors look pretty good... the cinematographer must have picked up the gig to pay for a fishing expedition or a vacation to Hawaii... In the words of many a great Norseman, .....Oy Vey!!!

This is an appalling film, and worth watching for that very reason. You'll struggle to buy a copy, and it probably isn't worth it, but in the UK we do get the occasional opportunity to see it on telly, so take them. This is a film with more ham than a Tesco deli counter, and Lee Majors, well, his own agent once described him as a 'somewhat limited actor'. The language - see my title, but to fully appreciate you'll have to hear the intonation in the movie itself, think Conan the Barbarian voiceovers - and the mock ritual and rite of Vikingness is hugely entertaining. Not unlike the sort of heavy metal that appeals to teenagers. Don't worry about history, it's irrelevant to this film - we all know the vikings must have been pretty sophisticated people, you'd have to be to conduct your trade from Teheran to St. Johns! And their business was arms and slaves, so they knew how to look after themselves. And this is not a film about sophisticated people. But the absolute star of this film is Jack Elam as the Death Dreamer, the wizard. The stereotypical shaman, Dr Samedi meets Don Juan meets Papa Lazarou. Honestly, folks, this movie is a hoot, but it is utter rubbish. If you want a quality viking flick, although again with questionable historical accuracy, go for The Vikings, with Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis and a brilliant Ernest Borgnine. At least you'll care about the characters.

I tend to cut movies a lot of slack, since I believe that the more sophisticated our movie-making abilities become the less people tend to use their imaginations. I bought a used VHS copy of "The Norseman," and watching it as an adult I actually enjoyed it. Sure, it's not a well-made movie, but it's a sad fact of life that often the smarter we get, the more jaded we get. I suspect the reason one viewer enjoyed the movie at ten and hated it as an adult is that watching it through eyes of childlike wonder he was able to suspend disbelief and see the movie's real meaning.

Besides, what's so "laughably stupid" about the plot, a conflict between Vikings and Native Americans? There is pretty good evidence that the Vikings were in North America; ever hear of Vinland? And as for the "black Viking," that was probably a pandering to '70s social consciousness; but still, could they not have picked up an African man in their travels? Everyone has their tastes, but I found this movie's theme unique and intriguing.