Terreur dans l'espace

I swear. This movie has got to be a rejected fan script for Star Trek: The Next Generation. Seriously. It's about a ship of fools captained by Lando Calrissian himself, Billy Dee Williams with four prison inmates (brought along to make up the crew) and an android who meander into a "forbidden zone" to "rescue a lost ship." Actually, Billy Dee Calrissian just wants to meet back up with a sexy alien babe and is dragging these clods along as an expendable crew.

Okay, here's where it's all Star Trekky: After five days of work (as in, on the weekends), the four crewmates (the former convicts) all get to relax in wacky Virtual Reality worlds where they get to bang the chick of their choice the whole time. Yeah, like on the Enterprise, but where the intention is to "get some." Instead of a "holodeck," though, these idiots just lay in beds and basically "dream" into their VR worlds. One guy is a 50's biker bad*ss, one guy is in the "ye olde west," one guy is in a 1940's-like Noir deal (in black and white no less) and the last guy spends his "VR weekends" on a beach in a luxury house ignoring his cyber-babe so he can jog or lift weights. One of the inmates on this trip is an explosives expert who was only apparently brought along to be the tough-guy explosives expert. Eventually, the sexy alien chick shows up in everyone's cyber-realities and kills off all their beloved fake babes. Then she gets all lusty and turns all the guys against each other. The android? We get to see him stand silently, walk silently, and die quietly. Other than that, you've got the smart and attractive inmate, the smart nerd inmate, the long-haired inmate, and of course, the big tough explosives loser.

Now, this alien babe doesn't make much sense. She's either real or digital or a magician or something as she just jumps from one place to the next convincing the men to shoot at each other. I think she's just poorly written. Easy as that. The acting is average at best for an underground film of this nature from the early 90's, and the special effects are truly laughable. However, the "fantasy VR worlds" are done in almost top-notch form. What the f*ck? I mean, the freakin' spaceships look dreadful! There's no class, no style, no personality! Their movement in space is more sterile and emotionless than the Enterprise sleeking across the screen in front of another phosphorus red planet in the 1960's Star Trek! All in all, it's actually pretty stupid, but watchable. Kinda like Maximum Overdrive, or The Wraith. Stupid, but entertaining. Some decent nudity.

5/10

Although the idea of aliens using computer viruses to attack terrestrial computers is almost old hat, here the aliens use the viruses as a siren to lure men to their deaths through their computer stimulated libidos. This is a very interesting twist that held a lot of promise when I first heard about it.

The movie fails on one account. The seductress should be the sexiest chick in the movie! Apparently because of miss Scoggins star power, she wore nothing sexier (that could be easily seen) than a one piece bathing suit, while other fantasy women bared all (Tracie did a very dark love scene, where you could barely make out her darkened breasts).

The first question that comes to mind is: "Even though Tracie is a fox, how could she lure the guys from the other gorgeous women that were baring way more skin"? I know she was the virus in control of the men's minds, but I need visual justification for her control over men.

OK, just quickly, this was actually very satisfying... Not so much in an action-sense, but because its a well-written warped scifi, with cool cinephilic indulges during the virtual reality sequences...

Get past the pedestrian laser-gun shootout at the beginning and you are then left with a fantastic cast of mostly B-movie actors, with interesting chemistry, in an interesting atmosphere. Tracy Scoggins steals the show with her devilish and mysterious turn.

Its a cheap film, but entirely worth watching. Great late-night movie. One of the better PM Entertainment sci-fi outings.

Space traveling convicts recruited by Billy Dee Williams become the victims of their own fantasies when a virtual reality femme fatale seduces each of the men and turns them against each other. This low budget 1993 sci-fi effort struggles with its own ideas. The virtual reality scenes are too far removed from the rest of the movie and come across as just a bit silly. The Red Dwarf style special effects are amusing for the wrong reasons and Billy Dee Williams is far too underused amongst a wooden cast. The biggest flaw though during the movie is the complete lack of feeling its set in space, it takes a lot of imagination to consider warehouses, corridors, and computer screens as a spacecraft. Its a shame because there where some interesting ideas that could have been explored better.

I couldn't believe it. I had to rub my eyes a few times. Was it true?

Yes, there were Billy Dee Williams, Jeff Conaway, Maxwell Caulfield and Tracy Scoggins - all of them have some manner of talent but here they all were in what basically adds up to a Cinemax-style skin flick set on board a spaceship!

Sad as it is, "Alien Intruder" tries to be unique, with a computer virus/alien demon/harpy/whatever else you want to call her named Ariel (Scoggins) infiltrating this sort-of high-tech virtual reality station on board a spaceship where four men are allowed to live out their fantasies as the system is over-seen by their captain (Williams).

Interesting? Maybe, but here everything just plays out like a well-padded episode of "Red Shoe Diaries". Williams out-classes everything right and left, and looks like he'd rather be doing anything else, ANYWHERE else. Ah, the things people do for money....

The FX are pretty static, maybe even less than what you'd expect for a straight-to-video cheapie like this. Unfortunately, even the female nudity is less than you'd expect. SEXUAL INNUENDO is the real star here and, of course, it gets ALL the best scenes.

If you like a movie that's all tease and no brains, check out "Alien Intruder". Of course, you'll probably have to look no further than Cinemax at 2 or 3 in the morning.

No stars, not even for what star power this flick can muster.

Leave this one lost in space.